It's too late Katie, oh, it's too late. Though we really did try to make it.
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April 28, 2006
What's in a name? Keep it on Cruise control
Tom Cruise has now advised (ahem, told) Katie Holmes to change her name to Kate.
He said:
"Katie is a young girl's name. Her name is Kate now she's a child bearing woman."
Ok, I previously wrote about a quote Tom Cruise made referring to Katie as Kate.
I am so sick of Cruise control. I have heard of women getting their hair cut or buying new
clothes after giving birth, but changing their first name? It's absurd.
It's as if any little piece of her identity that existed before him, he's out to destroy.
And I am sure that when he marries Katie, she will have to immediately drop the
"Holmes" portion of her name. Kate Cruise. That will be the only answer. I have been
watching re-runs of Dawson's Creek on TBS lately. Katie looked a lot happier then.
She also seemed more grown up than she does now. She walks around in a strange
Stepford wife state these days. And forget about ever seeing her in an edgy indie flick like
Pieces of April ever again. She will simply have to adhere to whatever Cruise feels is
necessary for her. I especially feel sorry for baby Suri. She will grow up seeing her
own mother opressed by her God-complexed father. But if you ask me (and most of America), he's not really
the biological father anyway.
April 19, 2006
The most annoying things Tom Cruise has said...(lately)
On the birth of Suri:
"I don't think this kid's going to be able to walk until they're about 15! Feet aren't going to touch the ground!"
On choosing the name "Suri":
``Friends of ours gave us a book, and we just opened it and instantly came up with a name.''
On the education of pregnancy--since he's an expert:
"We have been doing seminars so that everybody in the family understands what Kate's going through and for Kate to understand it. We have also been studying what happens after the birth and how to take care of the baby."
(NOTE: In this quote, he's referring to his robo-fiancee as "Kate." I guess it's supposed to make her seem more grown up or something).
On the delivery:
''She does what she's gotta do,'' he explains, addressing speculation that such a practice would somehow muffle Holmes completely and deny her pain medication. ``If she needs medicine, she needs medicine.''
On the birth of their baby:
"It feels a little unreal.''
On baby Suri's religion:
Asked whether their baby would be given a Catholic baptism, Cruise said, "No," then added: "I mean you can be Catholic and be a Scientologist. You can be Jewish and be a Scientologist. But we're just Scientologists."
"Katie, too," he replied.
(NOTE: Katie was Roman Catholic before she met Cruise).
Ok, shut up everybody. Suri is here!
Tomkitten Suri has now entered the world. Hopefully Katie Holmes is allowed to open her mouth now. The baby girl arrived just in time for the world to choke on their Red Bull when daddy Tom Cruise announced he was going to chomp on the placenta.
The 43-year-old actor, who is making it a mission impossible to even look at him anymore, told GQ the following
quote:
"I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and placenta right there."
It has now been clarified that Cruise was apparently kidding about eating his kid's afterbirth.
This is so gross!! I saw one of those HBO documentaries once where this British family fried up a
placenta and served it as a pate to their guests at a dinner party. Way too personal if you ask me.
Haven't these people ever heard of Chex mix or pigs in a blanket for God's sake???
April 11, 2006
They're hip, fabulous and headed for the altar!!!
Another baby bump to obsess over...
Secretary star Maggie Gyllenhaal, 28, and her boyfriend of four years, actor Peter Sarsgaard, 35, are engaged!
Yayyy! But don't stop jumping up and down yet. She's preggers too!!!.. Double yaaaayyyy!
Where you're seen Maggie:
Mona Lisa Smile, Secretary and Donnie Darko, co-starring her brother, Jake Gyllenhaal.
Where you're seen Peter:
Sarsgaard, 35, starred alongside his future brother-in-law Jake Gyllenhaal in last year's war drama Jarhead. He was also in Boys Don't Cry, Shattered Glass and Kinsey.
Maggie and Peter will join the brigade of other celebs who are putting baby before marriage.
They're in good company with Tomkat, Brangelina, the new Bennifer, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Heidi Klum and Seal and Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger.
Now here's a fun fact for ya, Jake Gyllenhaal is the godfather to Matilda Ledger, who happens to be Michelle Williams' and Heath Ledger's daughter. I'm guessing Jake will be the godfather to Maggie's baby too. He'll
be so busy godparenting, he won't have any time to have his own kids. Now in the case of Tomkat, I'm thinking Tom Cruise will want to be the father and the godfather because that is what any sensible Napoleon-complexed control freak would do.
Soul for sale
First, let me preface this blog entry with this news. I was a writer at American Media, specifically Star magazine, a few years ago.
I was having the time of my life there until some psycho sent anthrax to our building. I (along with many of my colleagues) endured 60 days of the stomach shredding antibiotic, Cipro. Then, all of a sudden, American Media CEO David Pecker wanted to move Star to New York. It was a shock to the South Florida staff. They sent some of our replacements down from New York so we could train them. We worked for Bonnie Fuller for three months in Boca during the "transition" period. She made it very clear that she didn't care what any of us had to say. Heck, we were just South Florida bumpkins, or so she thought. She was getting massages at the Boca Raton Hotel (hours passed deadline) while the rest of us were slaving away into the night. Believe me, there is a reason her ex-employees started a support site called, I survived Bonnie.
American Media CEO David Pecker has unfortunately decided to renew Bonnie Fuller's contract.
Here is the disturbing news, straight from the April 11th edition of the New York Post:
"American Media's David Pecker has "full confidence" in Bonnie Fuller and will be renewing her contract. The company reps also assured us that, contrary to our speculation yesterday, Star and the National Enquirer will not be put on the block . . . "
Here's the scoop on American Media. The only guarantee is that there is no guarantee. One minute you're the shining star of the newsroom, breaking stories days ahead of respected news organizations. Then the next day, you're tossed out into the street like yesterday's garbage. Gwyenth Paltrow once called Bonnie Fuller the devil. A statement like that would make a normal person cry. But in Bonnie-ville, it's an ego boost--a validation of her ability to get a rise out of the most famous people in the world. If you want to really look at the woman, aside from her string of successes at glossy mags all over the world, she has no clue of what women really want. She has dumbed down the magazine industry. She is in the spa getting massages while her army of workers gets the magazine out. She has created a knock off obsession within the magazine world and people have stopped buying her publications because they look like everything else that's on the supermarket shelf. Before Bonnie took over American Media, they were creating magazines that were uniquely trashy and scandalous. Now they are a carbon copy of everything else that's out there. Paris Hilton, the Olsen twins, Brangelina, Nicole Richie and Tomkat. This is all you can read about in a magazine anymore. There is no more variety. It was the variety that made these magazines addicting. I don't know what Pecker expected a New York staff could do for the Enquirer. The staff he had here was more than capable and he didn't have to break the bank paying them since the cost of living here is a lot less.
April 10, 2006
Black eyed peed her pants? You be the judge.
Ok, in case you missed the August 2005 concert of Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas with a mysterious wet spot, here it is again. There have been conflicting stories all over cyberville since the photo surfaced. Some say she was running late and had to pee in her pants on stage. Others say she peed back stage and stained her pants when she put them back on. There are even reports that it's good ol' fashioned sweat. Whatever the case may be, Fergie and the peas will be at Bankatlantic Center this Thursday, April 13. The Pussycat Dolls will open for them. If you're going to the show, wave to me. If you can't make it, don't worry. I will have the full report on the sweat factor posted Friday morning.
April 07, 2006
Heart of the matter
Heart blew me away last night at Hard Rock Live at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood. It was my first time seeing Heart. Sisters Ann and Nancy Wilson put on one of the greatest rock shows I've ever seen. They did a beautiful rendition of, "These Dreams." Then they added a special surprise song at the last minute after meeting a little girl named, Taylor, back stage. Nancy had asked the young girl what her favorite song was. Taylor requested the Elton John song, "Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters." That is my favorite song of all time. The Wilson sisters did a gorgeous acoustic rendition of the song.
Here are the lyrics to the song:
And now I know
Spanish Harlem are not just pretty words to say
I thought I knew
But now I know that rose trees never grow in New York City
Until you've seen this trash can dream come true
You stand at the edge while people run you through
And I thank the Lord there's people out there like you
I thank the Lord there's people out there like you
While Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters
Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers
Turn around and say good morning to the night
For unless they see the sky
But they can't and that is why
They know not if it's dark outside or light
This Broadway's got
It's got a lot of songs to sing
If I knew the tunes I might join in
I'll go my way alone
Grow my own, my own seeds shall be sown in New York City
Subway's no way for a good man to go down
Rich man can ride and the hobo he can drown
And I thank the Lord for the people I have found
I thank the Lord for the people I have found
April 06, 2006
80s ladies!!!
Heart is playing at Hard Rock Live tonight in Hollywood, FL. I have always wanted to see Heart and tonight I will finally get my chance. Magic Man is one of my all time favorite songs along with Crazy on You and These Dreams. Tickets are still available for $45 each at www.ticketmaster.com. The show starts at 8 p.m.
See you there!!
April 05, 2006
John Corbett's self-titled CD hit stores yesterday
April 03, 2006
Wake me up before you go-go...
I am so bummed. The Go-Go's just canceled their show tonight at Hard Rock Live at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. And they are NOT rescheduling it! I was so looking forward to dancing like Molly Ringwald to Jane and the girls. Doesn't anyone else want to rock out to "We got the beat?" I will just have to settle for listening to it in my iPod. I got to see the Go-Go's a few years ago when they played at Universal Studios in Orlando. It was a fun show. I happened to be there on vacation, which happens to be another one of the Go-Go's hits!! It was a nice way to end the day after freaking out on the Jurassic Park ride. Now I have nothing to do tonight except watch the Sopranos and Big Love again.