The Hair, the Bomb and the Bible
A.G. A.G.'s testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee has broken for lunch, and we've basically learned one important thing — either Gonzales has the worst memory on Earth, or else he's a bumbling dolt whose Justice Department was ran by underlings like Kyle Sampson. Possibly both.
(Tried to find a picture of Kyle Sampson to run here over the caption "Kyle Sampson: Alleged Shadow Attorney-General," but couldn't find a good one. However, I did stumble across Sampson's Brigham Young University alumni update, which includes the eye-popping quote: "Kyle has played a key role in many of the administration's personnel decisions and is the reason so many BYU alumni, including myself, have positions in the Bush administration," says Taylor M. Oldroyd, '91, a friend of Sampson and a White House staff member.
Wow. Haven't seen a quote so unintentionally telling since Dick Cheney's appearance in a promotional video for disgraced accounting firm Arthur Andersen, in which he touted the firm's "good advice" that went "over and above the normal, by-the-books auditing arrangement." )
Forgive the parenthetical digression. It all seemed too much to pass up. But enough of the doomed attorney-general. He's as screwed as Paris Hilton with a video camera. Let's talk elections.
First, federal elections, in which nitpicky details have become the norm.
THE HAIR
John Edwards' $400 haircut caused some consternation. ABC's poltical blog Political Radar ran a story headlined "Edwards Flattens Coif Controversy." One would think that such a headline would lead into an Edwards apologia, but, oddly enough, the story concludes with "The hair cut revelation did little to minimize what some call Edwards' 'Breck Girl' image. Earlier this year, YouTube showcased a video of Edwards fixing his hair before a televised interview, demonstrating the unforgiving power of the site."
Man, few things drive me crazier than anything that follows "Some say ...," "What some call ...," and the like. This is perhaps the laziest and/or most cowardly form of journalism known to man. Using it before the Breck Girl line is particularly troubling for two reasons:
1) I had no idea what a Breck Girl was. After a bit of googling, I determined it was a series of shampoo spokeswomen sometime in the middle of the previous century.
2) "Some" do not call John Edwards "Breck Girl." Rush Limbaugh calls John Edwards "Breck Girl." Anyone who's listened to the man's show in the last year knows this. The "Breck Girl" line is taken straight from the horse's ass. Why can't ABC just say "The hair cut revelation did little to minimize what conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh calls Edwards' 'Breck Girl' image." Why can't they do that? Why be so gutless? Why?
3) Not to get off on another tangent, but you know what other journalistic construct pisses me off? Superfluous pronoun use. This is almost entirely a broadcast phenomenon, but listen for it, and you'll soon be driven as batty as I am. "The Democrats, they oppose the funding plan." "The weather, it looks nasty over the weekend." "The pronouns, they are totally unnecessary in these sentences." Christ. Every time I hear that, I want to slap the "polished" anchor who just said it. Anyone with broadcast experience explain to me the reason behind that crap?
Edwards and his hair strike a pose
THE BOMB
Speaking of the unforgiving power of YouTube, check out John McCain's cover of a Beach Boys tune. Yikes. Of course, the real troglodyte here is the questioner, but it's still kind of a moronic thing for McCain to say. But, I guess you've got to play to your audience, YouTube be damned.
McCain dropped a bomb
THE BIBLE
Speaking of playing to your audience, Mitt Romney received the Ronald Reagan Award (seriously!) from the Frontiers of Freedom Foundation (I'm not joking!) last night. According to the Hotline, in his speech at what was apparently a front for tongues-speaking, snake-handling Jesus freaks, Romney said that, after learning about the massacre at Virginia Tech, “the first thing I did was pick up my bible.” Somehow, the line fostered applause, not cynical groans. Romney also referenced the Bible's Book of Isaiah when discussing foreign policy. You can't make this stuff up, ace.
Former pro-choice, gay-rights advocate Mitt Romney
FLORIDA POLITICS — THE HOOK AND THE CROOK
Moving to the state level, Democrat Ben Graber, the former Broward County commissioner who lost a state Senate bid in 2006, announced he'd run against Democratic Rep. Robert Wexler for the House's District 19 seat in the 2008 primary. Graber said that Wexler was vulnerable due to his support for the Iraq War, which may be true, but given the fact that, Graber debated switching parties to run against Ron Klein in District 20 before deciding on a race against Wexler, he's hardly the Democrat to outflank Wexler from the left. Despite Graber's reasonable name recognition in the district, this race is all over but the crying. Somebody get the hook and get this guy off the stage.
Get the hook
Meanwhile, Senator Mel Martinez is a crook, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Hardly the first time a candidate has exceeded the legal limits of campaign donations or blatantly disregarded other campaign-financing laws. Hell, it's not even the first time a politico backed by the conservative Cuban crowd has been so disgraced (see: Alex de la Portilla). But it does create the first large chink in the armor of a senator whose lackluster approval ratings have been waiting only for an ax to fall. Well, here's the ax. But who can step in to go against Martinez in 2010? The Dems only have one statewide elected official, and that's state CFO Alex Sink. If she can't or won't run against Martinez, look for a well-known Democratic rep. to step up to the plate in 2010 ... Wexler, maybe? Looks like Graber might have his shot at the District 19 seat after all. He's just an election cycle too early.
Get the crook