Dammit, why the hell didn't I bet money on this? My picks in the NCAA bracket were looking pretty shoddy as the Sweet 16 rolled around. I called just nine of the 16 teams. However, six of those nine went on to the Elite 8. The two of the eight that I didn't call, Memphis and the god-damned, motherfucking Kansas Jayhawks, both went down. Memphis got served by the higher-ranked Ohio State Buckeyes. But the No. 1-ranked Jayhawks were annihilated by No. 2 seed UCLA, 68-55. Hell yes. Go back to that hayseed hickville Lawrence, you no-talent hacks. The tournament's better off without your kind.

Meanwhile, just as I predicted, Florida knocked off Oregon to enter the final four, while Georgetown upset UNC. All that remains now is for the two remaining No. 1-ranked teams (Florida and Ohio State) to beat out the two remaining No. 2-ranked teams, and the championship game will be as I have forseen.

By the way, it's worth mentioning that I'm better than every single alleged expert at CBS. Jesus, boys, what do they pay you for?