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January 30, 2007

Wow. Just ... wow.

A woman is raped. The police, upon interviewing her, discover a warrant for her arrest from years ago for a misdemeanor. They arrest her. They take her to the hospital and then to jail and then ...

"She was not allowed bond, and the medical staff at the jail refused to give her the Morning After Pill even though it had been prescribed at the hospital.
"The medical supervisor would not allow her to take the pill because she said it was against her, the supervisor's, religion. So, here we have a medical supervisor imposing her beliefs on a rape victim," claimed the victim's attorney Virlyn Moore. "As a human being, how someone could be so violated by this monster and then the system comes along and rapes her again psychologically and emotionally - it's outrageous and unconscionable."


You're goddamn right it's unconscionable. It all happened in the post-Gasparilla haze up in Tampa Bay. here's the story. A follow-up story mentions that there will be an investigation, but we all know what happens when police investigate police — nothing.

That medical supervisor should be fired, stripped of her medical license, tarred, feathered, and flogged out of the Tampa Bay area — and that's before the criminal proceedings. You want to shove your religious views down somebody's throat? Become a priest or a nun or something, but don't dare try to confuse your beliefs with your obligations as a medical professional.

Just disgusting.


Happy Birthday, Dick Cheney

Yes, the Bush administration's eminence grise turns 66 today, just one six removed from the number of the Beast. But the ominous numerology of the event wasn't the first thing that struck me about Cheney's b-day. My first thought was "66 ... that's it?"

I mean, just look at the guy:
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He hasn't exactly aged well, has he? Of course, by the time of his death in 1995 at the age of 53, messianic Grateful Dead frontman Jerry Garcia looked like this:
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Which leads us to one of two conclusions: Either Dick Cheney has a severe heroin addiction, or karma's a bitch. I'm inclined to go with the latter. Dick Cheney may be a lot of things — stunningly hypocritical, maybe, or shockingly, devastatingly inept — but I doubt he's cultivated a serious relationship with the horse.

Of course, both his hypocrisy and his ineptitude were on display in his recent interview with Wolf Blitzer, ordinarily a fairly obsequious White House stenographer. Anyway, for anyone who missed that interview, here it is.

The hypocrisy of supporting his lesbian daughter's decision to have a child while at the same time serving as vice-president to a man who has sworn to add an anti-gay marriage amendment to the Constitution is apparently lost on Cheney. But then, nuance isn't his game. No, unlike wordsmiths like Tony Snow, Cheney simply lies outright whenever he feels like it, apparently yearning for a simpler time before the age of video, when the entire world didn't have each and every lie recorded, to be played back on YouTube.

Dan Froomkin's Washington Post article, "The Unraveling of Dick Cheney," touches on some of the same points I made in my last blog entry about King Richard Cheney III.

Among the punditocracy quoted by Froomkin:
"Delusional is far too mild a word to describe Dick Cheney. Delusional doesn't begin to capture the profound, transcendental one-flew-over daftness of the man.
Has anyone in the history of the United States ever been so singularly wrong and misguided about such phenomenally important events and continued to insist he's right in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary?"
— Maureen Dowd

"There are several possible explanations for the vice president's bizarre performance:
* He's crazy as a loon.
* He's a compulsive liar.
* He's gotten his prescriptions mixed up with Rush Limbaugh's.
Whatever the clinical reason might be, Cheney continues to float blissfully through a smug and surreal fog."
— Carl Hiaasen

"Is it just me, or is Vice President Cheney, in his latest statements, starting once again to sound like another balding, rose-colored-glasses wearing war spokesman, Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, better known as 'Baghdad Bob'?"
— Greg Mitchell

"Yes, that was [Cheney's] mistake. The Shia's submissiveness -- if by submissiveness, you mean warlike vindictiveness."
— Jon Stewart

Anyway, Froomkin's article nicely sums up the general outlook on Cheney in Washington these days. And it's not just the pundits. It's his own party. According to Ann McFeatters' column, one group of Republicans in the Capitol were complaining about Cheney, saying he was "getting a little strange." One wonders at the sort of stunted mind that would only just be realizing that, you know, maybe the vice president is a teeny bit divorced from reality.

But all of this piling on Dick Cheney really ignores a sad truth — how much the vice president deserves it all. With his hard heart (No, seriously -- Dick Cheney's heart problems stem primarily from Atheroclerosis, literally a hardening of the heart or arteries.) and harder head, Cheney has stood immobile and resolute in times that call for flexibility and nuance. He has cited the greatest danger America faces in Iraq as the possibility that we "don't have the stomach" for it. This, after more than 3,000 Americans sent home in body bags and thousands more permanently maimed, not to mention the hundreds of billions of dollars that have drained into the Middle East.

No stomach for it?

Hell, I've got the stomach for a lot of things. It's cast-iron, in most cases. What churns my stomach is a hypocritical monster who preys upon the public as though their lives, liberty and capital were his personal larder. And apparently, I'm not the only one.

While Bush's approval rating has slowly tanked, down to recent huge lows in most polls, Cheney's has remained reliably at around 20 percent for the past year. He is, in short, less popular among Americans than Stalin is among Russians. Spiro Agnew had higher numbers when he resigned.

Again, though, this simple spouting of the way things are ignores the fact that this is one of the rare convergences between The Way Things Are and The Way Things Ought To Be. Dick Cheney polls at 18 percent because Dick Cheney deserves to poll at 18 percent. This is a man for whom shooting someone in the face with a shotgun is apparently a polite form of greeting.

America has the stomach for war, Dick. I think we've proved that time and again throughout our history. In fact, I'd go so far as to say we're downright tolerant of war.

What we don't have the stomach for is you. If birthday wishes worked in reverse, and we could all wish something about you on your birthday, I think we'd all agree that the best thing for everyone would be if, the next time you went to your undisclosed location, you just stayed there. Really, it's what's best for the country. And you still want what's best for the country, don't you, Dick? I hope so. And I think you could agree that America isn't best served by hypocritical, ignorant greedhead monsters with no moral compass and an incredible gift for avoiding reality at all costs. The only difference between us is, when you look in the mirror, you can't see what you really are. Tragically, one of the defining characteristics of hubris is its inability to see itself for what it is.

January 26, 2007

Plamegate Rears Its Ugly Head

Back in one of my first entries on this blog, in April '06, I predicted that Dick Cheney would "retire after the November elections in 2006, but before the new Congress takes its seats." Obviously, I was dead wrong. Not surprising, really, but Plamegate is all the news again, especially after the gut-wrenching testimony of Cheney's former communications director, Cathie Martin.

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Cathie Martin, who pulled back the curtain

The WaPo's heavy-hitter, Dana Milbank, has all the gory details in his column on Martin's testimony. In short, Martin testified how junior political aides bossed around Cabinet members, public-information officers in the administration were kept in the dark, bad news was dumped on Friday or Saturday ("Fewer people pay attention to it late on Friday," Martin said. "Fewer people pay attention when it's reported on Saturday."), reporters deemed unfriendly were purged from the press room, And finally, to quote Milbank:

"At length, Martin explained how she, Libby and deputy national security adviser Steve Hadley worked late into the night writing a statement to be issued by George Tenet in 2004 in which the CIA boss would take blame for the bogus claim in Bush's State of the Union address that Iraq was seeking nuclear material in Africa.

After "delicate" talks, Tenet agreed to say the CIA "approved" the claim and "I am responsible" -- but even that disappointed Martin, who had wanted Tenet to say that "we did not express any doubt about Niger."

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Dana Milbank, the WaPo's jaded journalist

Brutal stuff. And the testimony hurts Libby, who maintains he heard about Plame's identity as an undercover CIA agent from reporters. Martin says that she informed both Libby and Cheney about the leak.

Coming up Monday on the witness stand: former press secretary Ari Fleischer, who has demanded immunity for his testimony, a condition granted by prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. Should be plenty interesting. Yesterday's arguing ended on a discussion of Fleischer's immunity. To whit:

"4:46 p.m.: The jury—and Martin—has been dismissed for the day. It's time for a highly entertaining lawyer slap fight. It turns out Ari Fleischer will be the next witness, once court resumes Monday. (Damn, just missed him!) The defense team wants to note—for the jury's benefit—that Fleischer demanded immunity before he would agree to testify, because this might cast Fleischer's testimony in a different light.

And here Fitzgerald makes a nice little chess move: Fine, he says, we can acknowledge that Fleischer sought immunity. As long as we explain why. Turns out Fleischer saw a story in the Washington Post suggesting that anyone who revealed Valerie Plame's identity might be subject to the death penalty. And he freaked. Of course, if Fleischer was this worked up about it during the time period in question, that suggests Libby would have been, too. (Which again undermines the notion that Libby had much bigger fish to fry.)"

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"Don't Kill me!!!"


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But the trial is only one front in the War on Cheney. At the same time Martin was hemming, hawwing, sweating and scratching through her testimony, newly minted chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, Sen. Jay Rockefeller, was blasting the vice president. In this story by McClatchy's (the newspaper chain that owns the Miami Herald) Washington Bureau, Rockefeller explains how Cheney applied constant pressure on Sen. Pat Roberts, the chairman of the committee until the Democratic takeover, to not investigate whether the Bush administration over-hyped prewar intelligence in the lead-up to the Iraq War.

Of course, any platitudes from Cheney will now fall on Rockefeller's deaf ears.

Given both the Libby trial and the Senate Intelligence Committee's renewed desire to compare and contrast the administration's pre-war claims with the actual, top-secret intelligence -- something that, if Rockefeller is to be believed, Cheney wanted desperately to avoid -- it seems that the vice president is being surrounded on all sides.

I recall the end of Shakespeare's Richard III, as the deformed, murderous, manipulative king, surrounded on all sides by enemies at the Battle of Bosworth Field, screams to the heavens, "A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!"

With the Libby Trial serving as Lord Buckingham and Congress stepping into the role of the Earl of Richmond, what will come of Dick, dwelling now in the winter of his discontent?

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King Richard Cheney III

January 25, 2007

The SOTU, Part II

I know I promised in my last blog entry to offer a running commentary on the State of the Union, but the hell with it. First, it's two days old now, which is ancient history out here in BlogLand. And second, the New York Times editorial on the speech pretty much covers any ground I would have, and does so with the sort of flair that has recently become so common in Times editorials. Someone else must have gotten the job of writing those in the last couple months, because they've taken on an ironic, mocking tone that's fun to read but -- up to this point -- has been wholly absent from the Gray Lady.

The post-SOTU coverage was telling. MSNBC gazed at its own navel, with Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Brian Williams and Tim Russert all offering analysis. At the same time "Fair and Balanced" Fox News' Brit Hume featured a roundtable discussion with conservative Roll Call editor Mort Kondracke, conservative Weekly Standard executive editor Fred Barnes, ultra-super-uber-neo-conservative Bush apologist/Weekly Standard founder Bill Kristol and Fortune Magazine's Nina Easton, author of Gang of Five: Leaders of the Conservative Ascendancy. And even with such a "balanced" roundtable, everyone agreed Bush had a bad night. ... well, everyone except Kristol, of course, who -- if rumor is to be believed -- has a small explosive implanted in his heart that will go off if he ever disagrees with anything the president does or says anything that may be even obliquely seen as anti-Bush.

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Bill Kristol, alleged cyborg time bomb


In any case, that's all I've got to say about the SOTU, except for the following absolutely true story (seriously, swear to God, this actually happened)

After watching the State of the Union speech, and polishing off a bottle of Chivas Regal in the process, I hit the rack. And somewhere in the middle of the night, I had a dream.

I dreamed that I was standing in the backyard of my house (I actually live in a condo, but in this dream, I was in this backyard, and I knew the house was mine.) The house was light blue, and had wood paneling. It had a wooden deck in the backyard, which was itself rather small, consisting of deep, green grass that, after only about 20 feet, rose steeply up a hill.
bluedeck.jpg


I glanced over to my right, and there was a similar house next door, with a similar deck, and on it were a group of suited men all standing around talking and drinking wine. I could not understand them.
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I looked down, and saw that my dog had crapped on the lawn. And then I had a plastic bag in my hand -- you know how these things just suddenly pop up sometimes in dreams -- and I picked up the poop, knotted the bag, and placed it in a small pile of similar bags to the side of my deck.
poop.jpg

Then I looked around, and noticed a couple more piles of shit. Busy dog, I thought. I picked those up too, but when I turned around from the pile of shitbags, there were a dozen more steaming piles of dung.

Impossible, I thought. And then, I looked up at the top of the hill, and standing there was a great Texas Longhorn bull.
longhorn.jpg

Dung flowed from its ass like water, and then rolled down the hill into my backyard. I looked down, and it was up to my ankles. I moved for the back door of my house, but by the time I got to the deck, it was up to my waist, and I was stuck. I reached up to my mouth to try to cover it, but I already tasted the shit flowing in.
mudslide.jpg


I woke up dry heaving.

And that's all I've got to say about the state of the union, whatever it means.

January 24, 2007

The State of the Union Is Doomed

Big day for politics, of course. Last night was the annual Running of the Broken Promises, a yearly speech by the president, as demanded by the Constitution, in which the main man avers that the country is doing fine, and then makes a bunch of suggestions on how it could be even better, without actually intending to follow through on any of them.

But, before I get into the standard liberal blogger response of going through the State of the Union line by line and offering snide commentary (which, unfortunately, will have to come tomorrow because of excruciating deadline crunches), there's a few other notable items I should point out.

First, John Kerry has abandoned all hope and will not seek the presidency. In my blog entry on the presidential contenders, I rated him as a "maybe" to run. But we all know he's been done since the botched joke incident.

This puts Kerry out of the presidential runnings entirely. Only a complete dolt would put Kerry in the V-P slot on a presidential ticket. It's not as though Democrats need a northeasterner to haul in the Northeast vote. And while Kerry has a lot of experience, especially in issues of foreign policy, there are other possibilities that make the Massachusetts senator wholly unviable. Take Bill Richardson, a man who has arguably more foreign policy experience, and is also from the Southwest and Hispanic.

john-kerry.jpg
Stick a fork in Kerry. He's done.

Of course, he'll still make a fine senator, and he's already said he's running for re-election there. Once Kennedy retires, Kerry should be one of the Senate's elder statesmen, a role that the sonorous fellow has always seemed destined for.

As for the State of the Union, the hell with it. If you saw it, you know what a mockery it was. Bush touted the exact same domestic issues he has brought up every year — energy independence, healthcare and education — and just like every other year, he won't do a damn thing about them after making a few photo ops at factorys, wearing hard hats or goggles and talking about "hard work" or "uniquely American" things like working three jobs.

The energy independece bit was particularly laughable, with Cheney suppressing a smirk in the background as Bush talked about reducing gas consumption by 20 percent in a decade, as well as rely more on American solar, wind, nuclear and clean coal power. A laudable goal, certainly, but Bush saying that he wants to do anything that will adversely affect Big Oil's bottom line is the same thing as him saying he wants to bite himself in the ass. George Bush is Big Oil. Dick Cheney is Big Oil. The Bush Administration is Big Oil. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.

I thought Jim Webb's response to the SOTU went quite well, but was particularly impressed when I learned that he wrote the speech himself after discarding the one handed to him by Democratic leadership. Given the ballsy nature of the ensuing oratory, that's just the sort of chutzpah the Dems are going to need in the coming months.

If all goes well, the new symbol of the Republican Party will look something like this:
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Actually, a really, really sad thing, what happened to that elephant.
read it and weep

Speaking of animal cruelty, how about that guy that was partially swallowed, head-freaking-first, by a Great White Shark, and lived to tell the tale? Awesome.

Look for a more complete analysis of the SOTU tomorrow. So many deadlines hit at once today that a full accounting was impossible.

January 19, 2007

Obama not white enough?

My previous blog entry, in which I put out a call to all voters to get "on the Obama bus," drew this comment from Alex over at Stuck on the Palmetto:

"I much want to get on Obama's bandwagon. I do. But I just can't imagine America electing a black president, much less one whose name sounds like Osama, as silly as it sounds. Working in advertising I've learned the hard way to never overestimate people's capacity for simplification."

Ordinarily, I respond to comments on a post with another comment in that post, but I think Alex's trepidations over Obama are commonly held ones, and so they deserve their own spot on the blog.

While I certainly grant that Alex really is worried about the issues of name and race, I don't think that these issues are as big a deal as they're made out to be.

Certainly, race is a factor. One would be foolish to pretend otherwise. But, the likely candidate is Hillary. Is America ready for a female president? Either way, minority issues will be a factor.

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Female president, black president ... either way

But I think the fact that Obama's a black man isn't as big a deal as people may think. First, the strongly racist whites wouldn't vote for a Democrat anyway. The days of the Dixiecrats are almost entirely over. There's a few fossils throughout the South who recall the bad old days before Lyndon Johnson, when a good portion of the Democratic Party stood for segregation and intolerance, and many of these fossils still insist on voting Democrat out of some misguided sense of loyalty to a party that no longer represents them. However, to quote the last good Republican president, Dwight Eisenhower, "Their number is negligible, and they are stupid." Eisenhower was talking about far-right conservatives who wanted to end social security and labor laws — at the time, he was right, though that small, stupid group now rules Ike's party. In any case, Ike's phrase can equally be applied to Democrats who would be turned off by a black candidate. Most of the party's David Dukes fled to the Republican Party a long time ago.

And then there's the whole Obama/Osama thing. The problem with this chestnut, I believe, is that the braindead sheep who confuse Obama and Osama probably don't even vote (remember, at best, only half the country goes to the polls).

In the end, I find that most of the people who protest "but America won't vote for a black man" are the very people who wouldn't vote for a black man. (Although I must point out that I certainly don't believe this of Alex's protestation)

Personally, I'd like to give whitey amiss entirely and go with an Obama/Richardson ticket. It combines the domestic issues Obama specializes in with the foreign policy expertise of Bill Richardson. It also swings the Southwest to the Democrats by playing to the Hispanic vote. Yeah, I think that's the way to go. The hell with whitey. Obama/Richardson '08!

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The Democratic Ticket -- believe it!

January 16, 2007

Your choice for '08: Mike Huckabee or Barack Obama?

Now that Barack Obama has officially thrown his hat in the ring, the die is cast. Obama's Web site contains the man's initial statement, in video form, that he intends to size up a possible run at the White House. Meanwhile, the Democrats' leading candidate, Sen. Hillary Clinton, remains hung up on her support for the war, a position now held only by a few troglodytes on the right who absolutely loathe her and everything she pretends to stand for.

Clinton is in a weird position -- hated by the left for her support of the war, hated by the right for ... well, for being Clinton. The senator from New York is ripe for a fall. In fact, the only person who can completely understand Clinton's precarious position is the Republican's conventional-wisdom candidate, John McCain. Loathed on the left for his support of a troop surge, he's equally hated by the lock-step right for his occasionally less-than-obsequious positions.

Both Clinton and McCain are goliaths awaiting only the properly aimed rock of David. In Clinton's case, it's almost assuredly Obama. I've stated my own personal like of Dennis Kucinich, and even written a blog entry supporting him, but let's face it, The Little Big Man, the Ohio Gnome, the Man I Love to Give Nicknames To, doesn't stand a devil's chance in heaven.

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Sorry, Denny. You were too good for this world.

No, Barack Obama is the real deal. He's got the media-darling status, he's got the cash, he's got the insider backing and he's actually a damn fine candidate -- at least according to my own political beliefs. Yeah, in the end, he's the one to upset Hillary and grab the big brass ring.

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Sen. Barack Obama, alleged 2008 Democratic presidential nominee


Meanwhile, over on the right, I've already explained how John McCain has the same sure-fire likelihood of being upset as Hillary. But who's gonna do it? Surely not the No. 2 and occasionally No. 1 guy in the polls, Rudy Giuliani. A pro-choice, pro-gay rights Republican isn't likely to escape the primaries on top, especially with the amount of ethical baggage Giuliani totes around like a Bernie Kerik on his back.

No, the GOP will put its faith in Mike Huckabee. It's all over but the crying. Huckabee, a minister, has the religious creds that Christian conservatives love. But unlike their other possible candidate, Sen. Sam Brownshirt, Huckabee doesn't come off as some sort of batshit-insane fundie zealot, allowing him to haul in more-moderate votes as well. Moreover, his I-lost-100-pounds inspirational story is just the sort of pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps tale that GOP voters love, though the more rational among them will, like me, question how Huckabee's weight loss in any way qualifies him to be president of the United States.

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Gov. Mike Huckabee, alleged 2008 Republican presidential nominee

Ah, "qualifies." There's that experience angle that you'll be hearing a lot in the upcoming year. They'll especially be using it against Obama, pointing out that he has little experience -- certainly not enough to be president, they'll say. To that, I say two things:

1. He has as much experience as John Edwards had in 2004, and no one called it into question then.

2. The Bush administration has included either officially or on a consultative basis: Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, James Baker, Henry Kissinger ... in other words, the most experienced American statesmen alive today. And they have fucked us all.

So the hell with experience, ace. And, sad to say, the hell with the Ohio Gnome. He was a passing fancy. The year 2008 is either the year of Mike Huckabee or the year of Barack Obama, and I'll be damned if another religio-crazy occupies the White House. Obama may be a man of faith, but it's the sort of ecumenical faith that characterized the lives of people like Dr. Martin Luther King. Not the quasi-sane faith of Christian supremacists like R. J. Rushdoony. We've had enough of their kind over the last decade, ace. Another eight years of that business, and you'll be recalling the good old days when it was legal to not pray in school. Oh, scratch that. You'll be recalling the good old days when we had public education.

So get on the Obama bus, ace. It's our only hope.

January 15, 2007

Happy Martin Luther King Day

This sermon by Dr. King is 22 minutes long, but I invite each and every person who reads this to listen to it in its entirety, and then think long and hard about what we are doing in Iraq, and what we have come to value as a country. Thanks.

January 12, 2007

In Cosmic News ... I Am the Second Coming of Sitting Bull

My blog generated its first letter a few days back — that's right, not a comment. An actual, snail mail letter, postmarked from Spokane, Wash., out on the eastern border, near the badlands of Idaho, where wolves run wild and the governor has threatened them with extermination. Anyway, I received the letter in the mail yesterday, and I've transcribed it in all its dark insinuations below.

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Dear Sir:

To misquote Red Green, "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you funny." I found your writing on the Internet, and found it funny. I'm taking on faith that you don't exactly care about the identity of some old bat who lives out where no one lives and God doesn't care.

And don't worry, I'm not looking for a job. I'm self-employed, or else where would I get the time to surf the Net? No, I'm writing because with you taking scalps and ponies from the Crow, Republicans and whoever else offends justice, you put me in mind of my old Lakota neighbor, Sitting Bull. He was a patriot, fearless and also compassionate for those less fortunate. He fought the good fight, yet it was a bigger picture that he didn't see coming.

I'm talking here about a misconception about the Bible that I read and you wrote. [ed. note: Incidentally, the only reference to the word "Bible" I could find on my blog was at the end of this entry.] I don't know how often y'all city folks get a chance to look clear-eyed at the stars, but as to the bigger picture, I look at what God told Job about the stars — Job, a household name in some households, after 3,000 years:

Job 38:31: Can you bind the sweet Pilades? Can you loose the cords of Orion?

He wrote poetically, if unknowingly, that the stars of the Pilades are traveling together bound by gravity, while those of Orion are, vice versa, not. Basic astronomy verifies him, but don't take my word for it. I look at what God told Ezekiel, in the book written approximately 571 B.C.:

Ezekiel 37:11: Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off." Therefore, prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign Lord says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoke and I have done it, declares the Lord.' "

The bottom line is that there is no precedent for an ancient people living scattered to the 4 winds, then returning centuries later to the same land, as did the Israelis in 1948, with their culture, even their ancient language, intact.

Or, I look chilled into Ezekiel 39:14:

Men will be regularly employed to cleanse the land. Some will go throughout the land and, in addition to them, others will bury those that remain on the ground. At the end of the seven months they will begin their search. As they go through the land and one of them sees a human bone, he will set up a marker beside it until the gravediggers have buried it in the Valley of Hamon Gog. And so they will cleanse the land.

Actually, do you know how long it takes to decontaminate the land after nuclear happens? Also, there's Isaiah, Chapter 53. Ancient copies of it were found more recently by shepherd boys, and called The Dead Sea Scrolls.

I certainly wish y'all the best, which is God's best.

A, A, A
B, B, B
C, C, C ... yup, still got it.

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That, ace, is a heavy thing to read first thing in the morning on a Thursday, before you've even had the chance to sip your morning coffee. The envelop also contained a postcard of a picturesque Miami skyline at sunset, and a black-and-white photocopy of this:

notmyjob.jpg


While I've read the Bible cover to cover, and I appreciate it's powerful language, the book has never spoken to me in any spiritual sense, so lets leave that aside and concentrate on the scalping Crows and Republicans. Really, this has put my entire life into perspective. It all makes sense now. My inexpicable hatred of crows — the Crow Nation served as scouts in the Army's war against the Sioux. My tendency to always cheer for the Indians in old Western films. Yes, this explains a lot of things. My name is Tatanka Iyotanka, and I will scalp your ass.

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Me, circa 1885

In National News ... More Meat for the Grinder

Of course, everybody's still talking about Bush's speech Wednesday night, in which the man called for more pork products for the sausage factory. Rumor has it that commanders in Iraq are referring to the 22,000-man troop increase as "J.E.L." — Just Enough to Lose. These officers claim an increase of 100,000 men or more might help matters, but these 22,000 are, just as I've been saying, simply more targets for terrorists.


But all in all, there's very little I can say about the president's asinine plan that hasn't already been said by nearly everyone else in the country, or at least the 70 percent of the population that disagrees with sending more troops, according to the latest AP-Ipsos poll. By the way, that same poll registers Bush's approval at 32 percent, the lowest in the history of the poll.

Indeed, it's pretty obvious that a huge swath of Americans of all political pursuasions are against this troop surge. If you don't believe that, then just check out this sign of the apocalypse: For what must be the first time in history, all seven of the New York Times' editorialists are in agreement, all of them against the surge. Face it — when Paul Krugman and Frank Rich agree with Thomas Friendman and David Brooks on anything, the battle is over.

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"Noooo! Must kill! Must kill!"

The question now is, how long do we tolerate this degenerate maniac in the White House? And believe me, I don't use the term "degenerate maniac" lightly. I've known a lot of them — even been one on occasion — and they are scary people. I understand all this "impeachment is off the table" business, but investigations are clearly not, and as soon as this 100 Hour Plan comes and goes (by the way, most of it already has, including ethics reform, 9/11 Commission implimentations, minimum wage, etc.), the House Democrats should start issuing subpoenas.

In State News ... Governor Crist Bitch-Slaps the GOP — again!

Man, I'm actually starting to like this guy. First, it was Crist's refusal to appear with President Bush at a GOP rally in Pensacola on the eve of the gubernatorial election, something I blogged about after the advisor who was the architect of Crist's no-show was given a position in Crist's administration. Now, of Jeb Bush's 283 political nominations that had not yet been approved, Charlie Crist has canceled ... all 283.

"It's time for a fresh new start," Crist said in the Miami Herald's article on Crist's snubbing of the outgoing governor.

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Awww... don't cry Jeb. It'll be OK.

I couldn't agree more that Tallahassee needed a political enema. I don't know whether it's my visceral loathing of the Bushes — a family that taught me the true meaning of Fear and Loathing far better than Hunter Thompson ever could — but I find myself actually liking Charlie Crist.

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Governor Crist, alleged source of my mancrush

In Local News ... Cops Protect Cop

Yeah, shocking headline, right? But if the Stuart Police Department's excuse for not arresting a drunk-driving Jupiter policeman is true -- that there just weren't enough cops in Stuart to arrest the man -- I will eat my socks. What a farce. Naturally, the police department doesn't plan on investigating the incident any further.

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"Sorry, no arrests tonight. There's donuts to eat."

January 08, 2007

A Few Photos to Tide You Over

I haven't been updating in the last few days because, frankly, I haven't felt the urge, and I'd rather let the blog sit for a while than write crap. But I'll be back at it in a couple days. In the meantime, here's how Fox News greeted Nancy Pelosi's grabbing of the gavel:

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And here's a shot of the new Republican minority at that same moment. The look on Denny Hastert's face says it all.

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January 03, 2007

On conservative media bias

A lot of folks on the left will tell you that the media has an innate conservative bias, just as a lot of folks on the right will say it slants leftward. Personally, I think the media has a bias toward sensationalism more than anything else, and that when it foregoes sensationalism and covers serious news, it becomes so clouded with the dogma of objectivity that suddenly everything must have two sides. Each segment on global warming must have an expert who defies the entire scientific community by claiming that global climate change isn't happening, or that at the very least, it's a natural process that has nothing to do with our affecting the planet.

Meanwhile, each segment on evolution being taught in schools must include an expert on "intelligent design theory," despite the fact that intelligent design fails to fulfill the very definition of a scientific theory -- that is, "systematically organized knowledge applicable in a wide variety of circumstances that analyze, predict and explain the nature or behavior of specified phenomena." (at least as far as the dictionary is concerned).

It's getting to the point where a special on the Holocaust will have to include a Holocaust denier.

But outside of obvious exceptions like Fox News or the Wall Street Journal editorial page, I don't think the media truly has a conservative bias. But then... well, then there's Pat Robertson.

Riddle me this, ace: How is it that a batshit-insane nutter like Pat Robertson can spout off predictions about coming terrorist-induced doom, and everyone from CNN to our own Sun-Sentinel covers it as though it were meaningful news?

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Pat Robertson, alleged lunatic

This exception, The Pat Robertson Corollary, as I'll call it, has been a constant thorn in my side when I try to make the case that the mainstream media does not have a conservative bias.

Now, wait a sec, you'll say. The media has plenty of American lefties on.

Bullshit, I'll respond. They may, but nowhere near as far to the left as Pat Robertson is to the right. When's the last time you saw Noam Chomsky on CNN? Hmm?

When the opposite number is Pat Freaking Robertson, you can't hold up Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi as a legitimate response from the left. Because if you do that, you have the center-left arguing against the far, far, mentally disturbed right, and you wind up ... somewhere in right field. The conservatives win, and the media therefore is biased toward them.

So where's Noam? How come his latest crazed bombardment of American power isn't splashed all over the media? And it's not enough to respond that Robertson is a religious figure, and these media are just covering religion, a subject of interest to most Americans. Pat Robertson is a snake oil salesman with a lot more in common with Judas than Jesus, so spare me the platitudes.

What gives here? I cannot believe that there truly is some sort of conservative mass media conspiracy. What is it? Has the whole country strayed so far into the Big Dumb of Bush World that Pat Robertson has come to be seen as a legitmate commentator on world events? When did we all swallow the red pill, and just how far down does the rabbit hole go?

Wow.

Somebody give this guy a medal. Better yet, give him even half the salary an average CEO makes in a year. Nuff said.

January 02, 2007

The new year begins with a bang ... er ... make that a hang

Of course, the big news over the weekend was this:

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Say g'night, Saddam

My own views on this are probably similar to those of many of you. Saddam was a ruthless pig who Got What Was Coming. But is that an end? Have we finally come to this corner that every Republican from Bush to Hannity and all in between have promised that we were turning at some supposedly historically significant moment, whether it be Bush's aircraft carrier speech about the alleged end of major combat operations, or the capture of Hussein or now, his death?

Of course, to think that this changes anything is to slurp up the same naivete-laced Kool Aid as that of phantom Weapons of Mass Destruction or any of the other lies packed down our throats in the time between the beginning of the Iraq war and the present day.

Tellingly, Saddam died on a Saturday. And the very next day ... Sunday ... the Lord's Day, the 3,000th American soldier died in Iraq.

For us -- for Americans -- the death of Saddam changes nothing. We continue to send our fellows into the meatgrinder of the Middle East, while even those in Washington who are against the war mourn the loss of "our youth" or "our sons and daughters" as if talking of another, lower class of people. And for those who are for the war, their deaths can't come soon enough, as Bush and his toadies like John McCain call for even more of our neighbors, friends and family to be sent off to die for nothing.

For the rest of the world, Saddam's death meant even less. Indeed, most of the planet treated the event as though it were some sort of gruesome, barbaric farce.

And what about Bush, one American who I don't include in the inclusionary pronoun "us"? Indeed. What about him? Traveling, as usual, to the foreign press to get a different perspective, one is reminded of the cold, hard truth by Robert Fisk, who writes in an editorial worth reading in its entirety:

"No, Tony Blair is not Saddam. We don't gas our enemies. George W Bush is not Saddam. He didn't invade Iran or Kuwait. He only invaded Iraq. But hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians are dead - and thousands of Western troops are dead - because Messrs Bush and Blair and the Spanish Prime Minister and the Italian Prime Minister and the Australian Prime Minister went to war in 2003 on a potage of lies and mendacity and, given the weapons we used, with great brutality.

In the aftermath of the international crimes against humanity of 2001 we have tortured, we have murdered, we have brutalised and killed the innocent - we have even added our shame at Abu Ghraib to Saddam's shame at Abu Ghraib - and yet we are supposed to forget these terrible crimes as we applaud the swinging corpse of the dictator we created.

Who encouraged Saddam to invade Iran in 1980, which was the greatest war crime he has committed for it led to the deaths of a million and a half souls? And who sold him the components for the chemical weapons with which he drenched Iran and the Kurds? We did. No wonder the Americans, who controlled Saddam's weird trial, forbad any mention of this, his most obscene atrocity, in the charges against him. Could he not have been handed over to the Iranians for sentencing for this massive war crime? Of course not. Because that would also expose our culpability.

And the mass killings we perpetrated in 2003 with our depleted uranium shells and our "bunker buster" bombs and our phosphorous, the murderous post-invasion sieges of Fallujah and Najaf, the hell-disaster of anarchy we unleashed on the Iraqi population in the aftermath of our "victory" - our "mission accomplished" - who will be found guilty of this? Such expiation as we might expect will come, no doubt, in the self-serving memoirs of Blair and Bush, written in comfortable and wealthy retirement."

Brutally honest, eh? A little unfair, perhaps, but whoever said the truth was fair? And keeping on the subject of editorials and the war, former White House counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke had a doozy of an op-ed in the weekend's WaPo, in which he lists all the opportunity costs of Iraq -- all the fights against climate change and nuclear proliferation, etc., etc. that we are losing simply through virtue of our failing to show up to the battlefield, because we are too busy turning the meatgrinder.

So what's the answer, ace? What's going to take us from the darkness of night and lead us into the glorious thousand points of light emanating from a shining city on the hill, in which we ask what we can do for our country and no one fears anything, even fear itself?

Simple. This guy:
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That's right, Dennis Kucinich, ace. The Little Big Man. Don't believe me? Here's his issues page. Read it and weep. He's for everything good, and against everything evil. I know I wept when I read it. Like a little baby, safe in the knowledge that Santa Claus exists and there is still good in the world. Those were tears of joy, ace, and they can be your tears, too.

Now, I know what you're thinking. It's the same thing I've thought in several recent blog entries. The guy can't win. Well screw that noise. I'm not generally in the habit of quoting other blogs -- I try to link to actual news sources -- but Atrios, the blogger over at Eschaton, is one of the most widely read lefty bloggers on the Web, and his recent entry about Kucinich is spot on:

"Dennis Kucinich Is a Very Silly Person
We all know this to be true. He's very very silly. His silliness has nothing to do with whether he's right or wrong. I don't know if he's really been right about everything, but he's certainly been right about more important stuff in recent years than most of the people on Tim Russert's rolodex. Still, he's a phenomenally silly person, so silly that when he's covered in the media there's tangible eye rolling by the reporters in the copy.

Since his silliness doesn't have much to do with his judgment on important things, it's worth exploring why he's so silly. As we know, you can be wrong about absolutely everything and still be a Very Serious Person Who Is Not Silly At All. Still, poor Dennis. He's very very silly.

He's silly because he talks outside the bounds of acceptable discourse which have been established by The Serious People. He doesn't try to work within these clear boundaries, but instead steps outside of them.

Howard Dean was also branded a very silly person by the Wise Old Men of Washington. He had the temerity to suggest crazy things which were not supposed to be said - the Iraq war was a bad idea, the capture of Saddam Hussein wouldn't make us safer, etc... etc..."

Nicely said. And Dean almost grabbed the big brass ring. We are desperate for authenticity these days, and Kucinch has it. So climb aboard the Kucinich Express, ace, because it leaves the station soon. Many are called, few chosen, and all that.

That's it for now. My New Year's Eve was unspeakable, the sort of thing that would make Caligula puke with envy, and I still haven't cleaned the cobwebs from my brain entirely. You're lucky you got this much out of me.

Just remember, get on the train.