Remember when rappers used to shoot at each other?

Read it and weep:

"Yonkers, New York rapper Styles P sustained a broken leg as the result of a road rage incident in Greenburgh, New York last Saturday (Dec. 23). According to police, the rapper was driving his 2003 Mercedes-Benz on Saw Mill River Road, when he was cut off by a truck. Police allege Styles P., born David Styles, then cut off the truck, got out of his vehicle and threw napkins at the window of the other driver, 50-year-old John Henson. As the rapper got back in his vehicle, Henson rammed the rapper, breaking his left leg."

Wow. Just ... wow. Hey, Styles, lemme drop some knowledge. I got a verse for your next cut.

Cruisin down the street at the wheel of my Benz
When some mothertrucker cut me off and then
I lost my shit, cold hit the gas
Pulled to the side to beat some ass

Truck pulled up and the tires squealed
I lobbed some napkins at his windshield
Bitch threw the clutch, wasn't just talk
knocked me down, busted my walk

It's a platinum record! Somebody get ahold of Timbaland. I want Mosley on production or no one!

Christ ... Tupac and Biggie are spinning in their graves.

Styles P, keepin' it unreal

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I know I will go to hell, because I pardoned Richard Nixon.
— Gerald Ford, as quoted by Hunter S. Thompson

Gerald Ford, who, by his own admission, has gone South

One cannot offer a real summation on the legacy of the Ford Administration, meaning a look at the outcomes of its own policies and politics, for the simple reason that Ford was not in office long enough for his effect to be truly measured. But nevertheless, this ship of state has limped along, listing to one side, ever since then. We took on too much filthy, scum-ridden water under one captain. And when the next captain took the wheel, he refused to man the bilge pumps. The pardoning of Richard Milhous Nixon is a festering pustule on the body politic, one that has never been properly seen to. Had Nixon been held to account for his crimes — had justice been done — this country would be stronger for it. Future presidents would have looked at Nixon as a warning of what can happen when a president believes he is above the law. Instead, Ford demonstrated that the president is, indeed, just that. Instead of restoring honor, Ford, the first president of my lifetime, was the first in a long, duplicitous line of goons. Not one decent man has occupied the Oval Office in my entire life. Not one.

What does that say about our national character? Whatever it is, it's not good. It starts with Richard Nixon, but it festers to this day because of Gerald Ford. And with only two years in office, that will be his primary legacy — the long, slow sinking of innocence, of decency, of the American Dream.

In the end, Ford will be noted for his clumsiness:

One of the president's many spills

He'll also be remembered for the assassination attempt by Squeaky Fromme, which ranks as the weirdest presidential assassination attempt ever ...

Manson Family member Fromme, who forgot to chamber a round.

... at least until John Hinckley came along a few years later and tried to kill Reagan to impress Jodie Foster.

Hinckley, who remembered

And most of all, he'll be remembered for the pardoning of Richard Nixon, who ranks as the worst, most corrupt president ever ...

The man himself

... at least until George Bush came along a few years later.

Who, me?

But, under the radar, perhaps the biggest effect of the Ford presidency was this:

Ford with his Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, and his chief of staff, Dick Cheney

While Donny and Dick had lesser positions in the Nixon White House, where they got their starts in executive-branch politics, both rose to power in the Ford Administration. Without Ford, it's unlikely we would have seen them in power in the Bush administration(s). In a sense, Ford made these men what they are. He gave them their first real crack at inner-circle presidential politics. And so, here we are today. Thanks, Gerry.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Don't know how I let this go by for so long without commenting, but Trey Anastasio, lead singer/guitarist for Phish, a band I saw about 30 or 40 times throughout my college years -- was arrested in Whitehall, New York and charged with DWI-drugs, along with possession of Xanax, Percocet and hydrocodone.

Lookin' good, brah

The saddest part is that he was just a few miles from the Vermont border, where he would've been safe -- you don't arrest a member of Phish in Vermont. It's like arresting Elvis in Vegas. In some places, certain people are just Bigger than the law. The news of Trey's arrest -- and his mugshot's traveling around the Internet, was somewhat muted by the several other celebrity mugshots to come out in December. But for the segment of the population familiar with the man, the Trey bust was seen as a pretty obvious thing. A necessary next step in the evolution. I mean, let's face it, Trey hasn't exactly been on point for a number of years now, no?

In any case, he's got a pretty good mugshot. The key to mugshots is that you don't want to come out looking like a bitch -- if you're tearing up, or your mouth is gaping open or you have that glazed-over, blackout look in your eye, that moment will be marked for all history, and you'll never live it down. Admittedly, Trey's photo is no Steve McQueen:

But you can't expect to be as cool under pressure as Steve Freakin' McQueen. I mean, the dude makes John Wayne look like Pee Wee Herman. Hmmm .... wonder what my mugshot looks like? Embarrassingly, I've also got a DUI to my name. It happened five years ago, and I've never tried to track down the arrest record, photo and whatnot. I'm sure I'm probably simpering and teary eyed. Best to leave some things uncovered.

In any case, Happy Holidays, folks. I'll be heading out of town until Wednesday. Have yourself a Merry Little Chrismahanukwanzakah.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

A quick bit before I flee into the swiftly descending night-time, to do my usual rounds of loud music, bar hopping and horrifically late bedtimes:

Dick Cheney has been called to testify in the CIA leak case on behalf of Scooter Libby's defense.

To my knowledge, this is the first time the vice president has been under oath during this administration's term in office. Heads could roll, not the least of which is his own.

"Myah! You'll never take me alive, see? Myah!"

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 06:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I just got turned on to this story from theMiami Herald via the paper's politics blog, Naked Politics, in which Jeb Bush's sudden desire to assume control of a furniture store he was shopping in is played up for some chuckles. Me, I see it as an analogy for everything that is wrong with Jeb's character -- the wanton hubris and utter disregard for every other human on the planet. The story then goes on to detail Jeb's slow march into the anonymity of private life. But no need to worry there. He'll be back. Jeb Bush's political career is like the cockroach. You can snuff one, but there's always more.

Jeb Bush, who really thinks you need to feng shui your place.

He'll always be there, ace, the rest of our days, to paraphrase Charlie Sheen. Anyway, the fact that Jeb's moving into new digs in the 305 makes my skin crawl. The last thing I need is to see him lurking around Coral Gables, stealing candy from babies on Lincoln Road Mall, high-fiving the Cubans down at Versailles. He's had a long, weird ride, but it is far from over.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 05:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

A lot of people have announced they're running, they're not running and whatnot over the last couple days, so I figured I'd offer a complete rundown of the way things currently stand. Every time one of these guys announces or drops out from now until November 2008, I'll offer an update and some snide remarks. It's what I do.

This first edition of my 2008 presidential campaign bloviating even includes a bit of news that I believe I am breaking, regarding the allegedly independent Draft Condi movement. Read On!

THE DEMOCRATS
Evan Bayh – OUT
With the luminous stars of Clinton and Obama, Bayh became the first person to say “I’m running” and then say “Never mind.” Probably for the best. Bayh’s positions are almost the exact equivalent of moderate, pro-war Hillary Clinton. He would have had difficulty stepping out of the shadow.

Joe Biden — IN
Biden has lusted after the presidency since … well, ever. His lengthy and often flip-floppy record in the senate will likely be used against him, though, and even if he wins the primary, he’ll come out of it horribly bloodied, easy pickings for the GOP vultures. More than likely, he’ll get creamed in the primary, though.

Wes Clark – MAYBE
Clark’s WesPAC has been hugely successful thus far, and Clark is one of the few Democrats outside of Congress who may take a run. Given the mediocre history of presidential candidates from Congress, Clark’s almost definitely in. I especially give a thumbs up for Clark’s long-term view. He’s the only candidate on either side talking about America in 100 years, and planning accordingly for deficit reduction and global climate change. That sort of expansive, we-have-a-destiny stuff is what got Kennedy elected — well, that and a little electioneering in Illinois. But I digress. (PROBABLY IN)

Hillary Clinton – MAYBE
I hesitated to even call her a maybe — she’s 99.9% likely to run, despite not announcing anything. Can’t say I’m the biggest fan — her maddening obstinacy in sticking by the Iraq War Resolution certainly gets eyerolls, despite the fact that you’ve got to give her credit for sticking to her guns. While she seems to be the frontrunner, she’s got major issues — Republicans hate her and say she’s too liberal. But because of the aforementioned war stance, along with her Clintonian (meaning her husband) tendency to support free trade issues like NAFTA, she’s equally hated by the left. In other words, she’s exactly the sort of frontrunner who’s likely to get upset by primary voters who are concerned about her conservatism, her electability or some combination thereof. (PROBABLY IN)

Christopher Dodd – MAYBE
Dodd’s mealymouthed position on Iraq — similar to Vilsack’s — along with his ho-hum take on issues ranging from education to healthcare to jobs makes him a wallflower in this campaign. That said, he raised a million dollars at his first fundraiser and probably has no intention of dropping out before election season really gets underway in 2008 (PROBABLY IN)

John Edwards – IN
He hasn’t announced yet, but Edwards has spent pretty much the whole time since 2004 working on his 2008 bid for the presidency. He’s as charming and good-looking as ever, and he’s honed his populist message about the two Americas and all that. His committee has raised a good amount of money, and he’s undoubtedly a top-tier candidate — despite little political experience and a losing V-P bid in the last election.

Russ Feingold – OUT
Despite the protestations of the left, many of whom – like me – love the guy’s positions and his tenacious attitude, he ruled out a presidential run soon after the 2006 election

Al Gore – MAYBE
Gore’s metamorphosis from stiff, suited automaton to folksy, funny prophet of the coming global warming crisis has been great to see, but his possible run at the presidency is likely so much wishful thinking. One of Gore’s most oft-used jokes is that he’s a “recovering politician,” and he’s still recycling that one at current speeches. He has no exploratory committee, and hasn’t said he’ll run. (PROBABLY OUT)

Mike Gravel — IN
Who? Mike Gravel, who last held elected office as a senator from Alaska in 1981 — 25 freaking years ago — is definitely in the running, and he definitely hasn’t a shot in hell. He’s a righteous guy who supports ending the war in Iraq and famously went toe-to-toe with Nixon throughout the 1970s, but he’s the darkest horse in the race.

John Kerry – MAYBE
Kerry had his own Allen-esque macaca moment in the 2006 campaign, when he told that hilarious joke about getting an education or getting stuck in Iraq. Yeah, yeah. I get it. He meant to say you need an education or you “get us stuck in Iraq,” thus swiping at the president, not the troops. But that doesn’t matter. This is politics, perception is everything, and Kerry’s DOA. He’s been a great fundraiser, though, and he’ll probably rely on that to carry him through the primaries. (PROBABLY IN)

Dennis Kucinich — IN
I love Dennis Kucinich — he’s for universal healthcare, an end to the Iraq War, withdrawing America from the WTO and NAFTA, repeal of the Patriot Act, the abolishment of mandatory minimum sentencing, marijuana decriminalization, full social security at age 65, energy independence relying on clean, renewable energy and so on and so on — basically, he’s for just about everything I’m for. Given that, I’d say he doesn’t stand a chance in hell.

Barack Obama – MAYBE
Despite my hesitation in supporting what currently appears to be the flavor of the month, Obama’s positions on Iraq and Darfur are righteous. Between him and Clinton, second-tier candidate Bayh has already dropped out, and others will likely follow down the line. Which makes it all the more likely that Obama will run. (PROBABLY IN)

Bill Richardson – IN
Richardson’s talked a lot of talk, but he’s yet to make any serious headway. He’s been a perennial short-lister for vice president, supposedly on both Al Gore and John Kerry’s lists. This presidential bid may very well secure him a place on the V-P slot for ’08.

Tom Vilsack — IN
Vilsack declared his candidacy last night on the Daily Show, and now has pages up at YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, DailyKos and MyDD. Any wonder who he’s targeting? Basically, given these indications, he’s aiming for voters like me — young, politically aware, somewhat cynical and deeply net-rooted. Why he’s aiming for us is beyond me. Most of us probably see his aw-shucks persona as a little hokey — I know I do. Vilsack’s Web site also features an open letter to John McCain — the obvious GOP frontrunner — questioning McCain’s position of more troops for Iraq. That said, Vilsack doesn’t state what his own position on Iraq would be if elected — which I find troubling, to say the least. In fact, Vilsack supports withdrawing to northern Iraq, which really isn’t enough for me. It seems like a way of pacifying the antiwar crowd while still keeping us drenched in blood.

Mark Warner – MAYBE
Warner originally said he wasn’t running, but has moved back into the maybes after rescinding that position a few days ago. That said, it’s probably just a bit of buyer’s remorse – or non-buyer’s remorse, more accurately. (PROBABLY OUT)

THE REPUBLICANS
George Allen – OUT
After a macaca-laden ’06 senate campaign, Allen’s rising star has exploded into a glorious firework display of shattered dreams

Sam Brownback – IN
Christian conservatives love him, but I think that, as the race progresses, he’ll lose a lot of ground to Mike Huckabee.

Jeb Bush – OUT
Our governor, Jerky McLargeHead (childish, I know -- but then, so is he) has announced he has no plans to run, and has no exploratory committee.

Bill Frist – OUT
He saw the writing on the wall and announced his retirement from the senate before it went Democrat, but Frist still came out looking like a loser. Between his idiocy during the Terri Schiavo fiasco, his asking a photographer to “get some devastation in the back” when touring tsunami-ravaged Asia, and going from Senate Majority Leader to out of the senate, even Frist knew he was done.

Jim Gilmore – MAYBE
Who? Yeah, the former Governor of Virginia, who lost that position to possible Democratic candidate Mark Warner, has been seen popping around the early primary states, and a “Draft Gilmore” movement has begun. After taking a look at the odds, I imagine Gilmore will take a powder (PROBABLY OUT)

Newt Gingrich – MAYBE
This toad-faced little bastard is only flirting with a presidential run because he has a book to hawk. If he does run, I’ll eat my shorts — and then do everything in my power to make sure he goes down in flames. Between his recent statements that free speech should be curtailed to fight terrorism, and the fact that he’s largely responsible for the massive partisan divide of modern America, Gingrich deserves to be tarred, feathered and banished to Antarctica, not enshrined in the White House. (PROBABLY OUT)

Rudy Giuliani – IN
Pro-gay, pro choice, twice-divorced New Yorker who announced his separation from his second wife via a press conference without informing her first? How he intends to survive the Republican primary is beyond me. With McCain in the race, name recognition is not enough. And with his “America’s Mayor” sobriquet, the only other thing Giuliani’s got is 9/11 — and using that to get elected without looking like you’re, well, using 9/11 to get elected, will prove difficult.

Chuck Hagel – MAYBE
Hagel’s open criticism of his own party, particularly in regard to the Iraq War, has made him a big deal to independents and even Democrats – in his home state of Nebraska, the senator enjoys higher approval ratings among Democrats than Republicans. That’s great in a general election, but unless Republican primary voters rally around the idea of “electability,” it won’t get Hagel a win. Besides, the electability crowd will probably flock to McCain. Hagel’s smart enough to figure that out. A McCain/Hagel ticket could be a direct path to the White House, but Hagel should be well aware that he takes second place to McCain in a direct shootout (PROBABLY OUT)

Mike Huckabee – MAYBE
A former Baptist minister, Huckabee is a much-loved potential candidate among the religious right. But Sen. Sam Brownback has been one step ahead of Huckabee all the way down the line. Brownback expressed interest first, formed an exploratory committee first and has announced his candidacy — unlike Huckabee. That said, Huckabee can draw from the religious right while at the same time courting more middle-of-the-road voters – unlike Brownback, who has very little cachet outside of the megachurches. (PROBABLY IN)

Duncan Hunter – IN
Archconservative Hunter announced his candidacy a week before the midterms. A military-can-do-no-wrong type who once complained that Congress was spending too much time investigating torture at Abu Ghraib and accused CNN of airing “enemy propaganda,” Hunter is a one-note candidate who stresses national security above all things. His PAC, the Orwellianly named Peace Through Strength PAC (why not just cut to the chase and call it the War Is Peace PAC?), says it all. He should be a helluva lot of fun to watch.

John McCain – IN
He’ll likely make an official announcement in February, but it’s a done deal. In fact, the primary could already be a done deal. Unless opposition to the Iraq insanity grows, and McCain continues to call for more troops to be thrown into the meatgrinder, he’ll probably win. That said, McCain has remained inflexible in his views so far, and opposition to the war has only grown with time. By 2008, history could very well have passed the senator by. However, despite his habit of toeing the line whenever the party needs him to, McCain still enjoys that maverick status among voters who may be a little less informed of his record. That could pay off big.

George Pataki – MAYBE
Sorry, George. There might be room enough in the primary for one moderate Republican from New York, but certainly not two. Besides, New York is madly in love with governor-elect Eliot Spitzer (a very likely future presidential candidate, I might add). Pataki’s yesterday’s news. (PROBABLY OUT)

Mike Pence – MAYBE
Far-right representative Mike Pence has often been hailed as a possible candidate, but that was before the 2006 elections. As it stands, Pence will probably be content to focus on his career in the House for now, despite his upstart bid for House Minority Leader being quashed by John Boehner, 168-27-1. (PROBABLY OUT)

Condolezza Rice – MAYBE
Despite her own protestations, it’s pretty likely Condi will run. Why? Well, here’s a bit of news that, I believe, Doomed Generation is the first to report – at the very least, I put two and two together on my own. The supposedly independent Americans for Dr. Rice, which has raised a good amount of money in a Draft Condi campaign, is located in the same building — 601 Pennsylvania Ave., just a few blocks from Condi’s boss’ house — as the National Black Republican Association … oh, scratch that. It’s even located in the same space, Suite 900. Major organizations setting up fronts for the Sec. Of State is tantamount to her setting up an exploratory committee. The Hill didn't report this in its piece on the Draft Condi movement, so I'm claiming world exclusive coverage and demanding my Pulitzer. Excelsior! (PROBABLY IN)

Mitt Romney – MAYBE
Way too much baggage. First, right or wrong, many Americans see Mormonism as, well, kooky. And besides, Romney may talk the talk now, but he wasn’t doing it 12 years ago, when he disavowed Reagan during a senate debate with Ted Kennedy. And good for him – Reagan was a snake-oil salesman whose legacy is unbridled debt, belligerent jingoism, the destruction of S&Ls and the foul stench of Iran-Contra. But that statement alone – much less Romney’s pro-choice and pro-gay rights statements – will doom him, and he knows it. You don’t dis Saint Reagan and then run for president on the Republican ticket. You can be a dry-drunk ex-cokehead with a heart full of hate and a brain full of nothing, but do not talk shit about Ronnie. That said, he’ll still run. He just won’t make it far. (PROBABLY IN)

Mark Sanford – OUT
Fort Lauderdale native, Governor of South Carolina, and subject of a Draft Mark movement, Sanford decided the wind wasn’t blowing his way.

Rick Santorum – OUT
Santorum’s defeat in the senate race pretty much destroyed his presidential aspirations

John Sununu – MAYBE
Sununu's speculated about running for president, but he's vulnerable in 2008 senate race — New Hampshire's two Republican congressmen lost to Democrats in 2006, and Sununu won by a thin margin in 2002, a pro-Republican year. In fact, he’s likely only in office today because of the phone-bank scandal. Given this, the Dems will target Sununu’s senate seat heavily in 2008. In any case, 2008 looks like it’ll probably be as bad for the GOP as 2006, especially if the Dem. Congress gets some stuff done in the ensuing years. Sununu’s presidential bid will probably go down like New Mexico Republican Rep. Heather Wilson's senate dreams in this year’s election. Wilson was an early pick to run against Jeff Bingaman for senator, but the Dems offered strong opposition in her House district, forcing her to defend her home turf instead of go on the offensive. (PROBABLY OUT)

Tom Tancredo – MAYBE
Although Tancredo’s “third-world country” comment didn’t earn him a lot of love down here, to xenophobic conservatives in the Heartland, it sounded like the finest rendition of “Dueling Banjos” they’d ever heard. The congressman’s comments have helped him, not hurt him. (PROBABLY IN)

Tommy Thompson – IN
Thompson filed papers to establish an exploratory committee last Friday. Nuff said. (PROBABLY IN)

Summation
On the Democratic side, I think it comes down to Clark, Clinton, Edwards or Obama. I wish I could stick Kucinich in there, but I don't see any way he could do it. The world is not ready for the little big man.

On the Republican side, it's either Giuliani, Huckabee, McCain or Tancredo. ... OK, OK. Maybe not Tancredo. There's just not that many xenophobes out there.

Tom Tancredo, whose base just isn't big enough ... I hope

And, now that I think about it, there's just no way conservatives will go for Giuliani.

A message to you, Rudy — You're screwed

So, basically, it comes down to Huckabee or McCain, and ... ah, who am I kiddin'? It's McCain all the way.

"Fightin' John" McCain, alleged 2008 Republican presidential nominee

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 03:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

After weeks of inactivity -- during which time rumors of lawsuits and sales of the Web site sprung up -- it appears that 305 Gossip blog The Dirt is back. It also appears the latter rumors were true -- the word "SOLD" appears on The Dirt's new, fashionably black but unfortunately barren, landscape.

I await future blog entries that will offer all the details of what celebrities are in town, what publicists are fleeing the police, who's got a coke problem, who's got fun-filled coke parties, and on and on and on ....

Returning soon to an Internet near you

That "sold" thing doesn't bode well, though. The writing was bad enough the first time around. If it's been sold to some faceless PR firm with its hack publicists, Christ, that thing'll be unreadable.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 05:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Hot off the presses, Jeb Bush just announced that, following the half-hour-long demise of convicted murderer Angel Diaz, no death warrants would be signed in Florida until an extensive review. Diaz needed a second dose of the three-part injection, and his body had foot-long chemical burns on both arms when all was said and done.

Angel Diaz, who killed a strip-club manager in 1979 and died a slow death just two days ago.

I have long been against the death penalty...

not because I don't think there's plenty of vicious swine who deserve to be put down, but because

1) it's racially biased. Study after study shows that, the crime being equal, blacks and Hispanics get the death penalty far more often than whites

2) I'd rather let 20 guilty men wallow in jail for the rest of their lives than have the blood of one innocent on my country's hands. Let's face it -- innocent people have died because of the death penalty. That is wrong. Period.

3) In these enlightened (HA!) times, the state-sanctioned murder of anyone, no matter how vile they are and no matter how ostensibly painless the method, should count as "cruel and unusual punishment," banned by our Constitution.

4) Jail is a horrific place where crazy men commit unspeakable acts and sane men turn crazy. Given that, it seems to me that life in prison is more than enough punishment, I don't care what you did. You been to prison, ace? Lemme tell ya, it's no picnic. Even county jail is a horrific, claustrophobic atmosphere. And state and federal pens make it look like freaking Boy Scout summer camp.

So, congratulations, Jeb. Looks like in your waning days, you managed to grow something of a conscience.

Oh, right. Forgot where you came from. Never mind.

The findings of Jeb's commission wil come out March 1, and I fully expect that the commission will find that shooting people up with chemicals that induce severe burns is perfectly acceptible. Hell, they'll probably find that it doesn't go far enough, and that we should start putting condemned prisoners on the rack.

Or maybe toss'em in this contraption while speakers blare "Run To the Hills":

In other words, I think we'll go right back to killing people after March, and that this is just a diversionary tactic that will keep the heat off until it dies down. I hope I'm wrong, but when I rely on my bitter cynicism, I rarely am.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 04:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Scientists in England have conducted a study in which they measured reaction to certain songs, then determined which was the saddest song. The scientists have found that the saddest song ever is "The Drugs Don't Work" by The Verve.

The Verve -- alleged purveyors of the world's saddest song

Preposterous. The saddest song ever is...

"And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda" by Eric Bogle, as performed by the Pogues.

Shane MacGowan, lead singer of The Pogues, the true title-holders.

I'll give you a few other worthy contenders:

"Perfect Day," by Lou Reed

Lou Reed keeps hangin' on
("Pale Blue Eyes" would also be a good call)

"Dead Flowers," by Townes Van Zandt

Townes Van Zandt won't forget to put roses on your grave

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. But The Pogues win hands down. And just cause he's so photogenic, here's Shane again.

Brilliant

**********************************************************************************************************************************

The big news right now is of Sen. Tim Johnson's illness, and its repercussions for control of the Senate. While I wish Johnson a speedy recovery, I'm not worried about all the speculation regarding his possible replacement by a Republican at the hands of South Dakota's Republican governor. The only way that happens is if Johnson steps down or dies. Previous senators have remained incapacitated for years and still remained in office. I recall Strom Thurmond being wheeled into Congress on a bed, but there are more germane examples. Sen. Karl Mundt, for example. Like Johnson, Mundt was a senator from South Dakota. Also like Johnson, Mundt suffered what appeared to be a stroke in 1969. He remained incapacitated for the rest of his term, but remained in office. There are plenty of other examples, of course.

So, I'm not as freaked out as many on the lefty blogosphere, some of whom have been pulling out there hair over the last few days. Conversely, I've seen a few salivating posts from the right-ward side of things. Disgusting, but expected. And to be fair, if the situation were reversed, I'd expect to see some pretty callous stuff from the left, so what the hell.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 04:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The story that Miami Police Chief John Timoney's ne'er-do-well son Sean just received 18 months in the federal pen for trying to buy 400 pounds of weed causes me some consternation. Sean paid $455,000 as a downpayment on the shipment, which comes to about $70 an ounce -- a pretty good deal, if the pot was high quality, a not-so-good one if it was typical schwag.

But other than the obvious problem of the son of a major national figure in law enforcement (Timoney was a chief in Philly and New York City before coming here) being involved in a major drug buy, there are other problems with this sordid tale. Not the least of which is that, if any Timoney should be in jail, it's John.

The Miami Model, which has become an accepted practice of police brutality whenever large-scale protests creep up, was invented and instigated by Chief Timoney, and that act alone should warrant some sort of justice being meted out against the man. I've written before of my own experiences during the first horrific crash test of the tactic at the FTAA protests in Miami in 2003. The very idea that an American police chief would resort to gestapo tactics like this should have at least caused the man to be shunned out of the profession. Instead, he's generally regarded as a hero.

Miami Police Chief John Timoney, giving brutality a great name!

But beyond that, there's also the fact that Sean is serving a mere 18 months out of a possible 40-year sentence (his partner in the deal is serving twice as long as Sean). Reading that, I recall the words of a lawman from an earlier era, Old West folk hero Bat Masterson, who retired when the Wild West cooled down and moved to the East Coast, starting a new career as a journalist. He died in 1921, and was found seated at his desk in front of his typewriter. His last words, typed out before him, were, "There are those who argue that everything breaks even in this old dump of a world of ours. I suppose these ginks who argue that way hold that because the rich man gets ice in the summer and the poor man gets it in the winter, things are breaking even for both. Maybe so, but I'll swear I can't see it that way."

Bat Masterson, circa 1879

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 03:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

After meeting with the Iraq Study Group, a group whose word was at one time taken to be gospel, whatever its findings, but which is now being dismissed as "just one voice among many," Bush was to make a statement about the new approach to Iraq "before the Christmas holiday." Now, apparently, that statement won't be here until after the New Year.

The Wihte House has offered several reasons for the delay. Mainly because implementing the tactics behind these upcoming changes in strategy "is complicated and not finished." Some liberals have criticized Bush, saying he's just buying time, waiting for the whole thing to die down a bit and for the Iraq Study Group to fade into the memory hole. Then he'll just continue on with business as usual until he's able to dump this whole mess into the lap of his successor after 2008.

These people are wrong. Bush would never be so callous. He'll make a decision soon. It's just that, you know, there are so many Christmas parties to get to.

The White House will host 24 Christmas parties in the next 20 days, according to the story linked above. That, ace, is a shitload of tinsel. The story is mainly about First Lady Laura Bush, who took reporters on a tour of the White House and described all the fun, festive happenings to take place there in the ensuing weeks.

"It's difficult, especially over the holidays, but it's always difficult when your loved one is deployed," Laura said of the families of soldiers fighting in the Middle East.

Indeed. Well said, Laura. One could argue that, maybe if the president had an ounce of foresight, he'd have adopted the Iraq Study Group's resolutions a long time ago, and those soldiers would be home with their families now. But that's neither here nor there, right?

Ahhh... sweet, sweet compassionate conservatism. Thanks for caring, Laura.

We've got to forgive Bush for putting off his announcement about Iraq for a while. Planning for 24 Christmas parties (anyone who calls them holiday parties hates Christmas) is a herculean task, much less actually attending said parties. Admittedly, though, Bush probably didn't do any of the planning. OK, so attending parties -- 24 of them. That's a lot of work. Between the grand balls, gala luncheons, working brunches, Christmas caroling, and 5 a.m. hookers-and-coke fetes, I'm amazed there'll be time for anything in the White House other than parties from now till New Year's.

Whoa! Did I say hookers and coke there? I meant grandmas and ginger snaps. We're living in Bush World now, and people who get caught doing things with hookers, no matter how high class, and especially with drugs, will be tacked to the wall as an example to the rest of the masses. It doesn't have to be that way, though. You need only give up your whorish ways and accept Jesus in time for his birthday, ace, and all will be forgiven. Hell, Bush did. He famously quit drinking on his 40th birthday -- that being the end of those rebelious teenage years in the circles he ran with -- and was welcomed into the Great Elite, that rarefied place where the Bushes have dinner with the Rockefellers, and nobody has to think too much about Desolation Row.

Me? I think I'll keep my vices, thank you very much. They may be cold comfort, but they're comfort enough. Besides, nothing irks me more than an ex-cokehead like Bush running a War on Drugs, or an ex-pothead like his predecessor, for that matter. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a hypocrite, and I don't need people like the president to forgive my sins for me to feel clean.

So carve the Christmas goose, ace. Bush is planning on dicing up 24 of them after all, and he's already said that it's up to each and every one of us to go about our business. Recall, this event back in 2004, in which a fawning sycophant mewed at our commander-in-chief, "As a mother of two, my greatest concern is national security. What is your biggest fear with, if you'll excuse me, a Kerry administration?" And the President answered with, among other platitudes, "It's my job to worry about it. It's your job to go about your business."

See that? It's what's best for America. Never mind about what Bush is planning for Iraq, or when he'll announce it. In fact, when the announcement comes, don't watch it. Go out shopping instead. Because let's face it, over in Iraq, the goose is already cooked.

In other news:

Dennis Kucinich has announced his candidacy for the presidency of the United States in 2008. Given the difference in our nation's opinion of the Iraq War since Kucinich's last run in 2004, I expect this campaign to be taken slightly more seriously than the last. But only slightly.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich, who fights the good fight -- and just as often, loses.

And, while I'm not holding my breath, if this actually happens it'll mean a huge change in the way Congress operates: Democrats have announced there will be no earmarks in upcoming spending bills." That means no more bridges to nowhere. No more half a billion dollars for gigantic airplanes that the Dept. of Defense doesn't want or need. No more of the incredible stupidity relayed here.

A detailed bar graph of Congressional spending

Like I said, I'm not holding my breath. Both parties have a long, ugly history of trafficking in pork products.

"Mmmmmm .... pork products."

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 02:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist due to the irresponsibility of its own people. The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves"
— Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, 1970

"It is firm and continuing policy that Allende be overthrown by a coup. It would be much preferable to have this transpire prior to 24 October but efforts in this regard will continue vigorously beyond this date. We are to continue to generate maximum pressure toward this end, utilizing every appropriate resource. It is imperative that these actions be implemented clandestinely and securely so that the USG and American hand be well hidden."
— CIA Memo, 1970

"With respect to your earlier comment about Chile in the 1970s and what happened with Mr. Allende, it is not a part of American history that we're proud of"
— Secretary of State Colin Powell, 2003

Ironically, Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet died yesterday, International Human Rights Day. Today, if there is an afterlife and justice therein, he is being torn to pieces by the 3,000 people -- at minimum -- that he massacred.

Augusto Pinochet, seated, soon after the coup of Sept. 11, 1973, looking every bit the dictatorial strongman

A more recent photo of Pinochet, looking every bit the drooling dolt

In the face of historical revisionists such as the one who wrote the article that included the Colin Powell quote, above, Pinochet's legacy must be put in proper perspective. The author of the aforementioned article even has the temerity to state offhandedly "The Pinochet dictatorship was difficult for everyone." Difficult indeed. Difficult particularly for the 30,000 or so people tortured under Pinochet's rule, the thousands killed, and the untold thousands who simply disappeared.

But hey, at least Pinochet managed to outlive Castro by a few months.

Generalissimo Fidel Castro, still dead

In fact, if there really is a hell, the right-wing dictator and the left-wing dictator will spend it there, chewing out each others' ever-regenerating eyeballs or some such. Who knows? Satan's likely more creative about these things than I am. He's had a long while to perfect matters.

Muahahahaha!

But from an American standpoint, there is a distinct difference. Fidel came to power in spite of us. Pinochet came to power by our hand. The amount of money we sunk into Chile's military from 1970-1973 increased from $800,000 to more than $10 million. At every turn, we helped the coup along. It should have taught us a powerful lesson about interfering in the domestic affairs of a foreign power -- as should have Vietnam and many other examples -- but instead, here we sit in Iraq.

As I predicted a couple blog entries ago, Bush is already dismissing the findings of the Iraq Study Group. This editorial by the LA Times' Jonathan Chait sums up the current outlook of the Bush administration nicely. Essentially, Bush is being treated like a petualant child -- mainly, I would add, because he acts like one.

Oh, and one other thing about Pinochet -- the goon squads of that fascist fucking dictator killed Victor Jara. For that alone, someone should have dragged the old bastard from his deathbed and ripped his moustache off before he died.

"Estadio Chile," by Victor Jara, written while being held at a soccer stadium in Santiago, where he was later executed after being brutally tortured.

Somos cinco mil
en esta pequeña parte de la ciudad.
Somos cinco mil
¿ Cuántos seremos en total
en las ciudades y en todo el país ?
Solo aqui
diez mil manos siembran
y hacen andar las fabricas.

¡ Cuánta humanidad
con hambre, frio, pánico, dolor,
presión moral, terror y locura !

Seis de los nuestros se perdieron
en el espacio de las estrellas.

Un muerto, un golpeado como jamas creí
se podria golpear a un ser humano.
Los otros cuatro quisieron quitarse todos los temores
uno saltó al vacio,
otro golpeandose la cabeza contra el muro,
pero todos con la mirada fija de la muerte.

¡ Qué espanto causa el rostro del fascismo !
Llevan a cabo sus planes con precisión artera
Sin importarles nada.
La sangre para ellos son medallas.
La matanza es acto de heroismo
¿ Es este el mundo que creaste, dios mio ?
¿Para esto tus siete dias de asombro y trabajo ?
en estas cuatro murallas solo existe un numero
que no progresa,
que lentamente querrá más muerte.

Pero de pronto me golpea la conciencia
y veo esta marea sin latido,
pero con el pulso de las máquinas
y los militares mostrando su rostro de matrona
llena de dulzura.
¿ Y Mexico, Cuba y el mundo ?
¡ Que griten esta ignominia !
Somos diez mil manos menos
que no producen.

¿Cuántos somos en toda la Patria?
La sangre del companero Presidente
golpea más fuerte que bombas y metrallas
Asi golpeará nuestro puño nuevamente

¡Canto que mal me sales
Cuando tengo que cantar espanto!
Espanto como el que vivo
como el que muero, espanto.
De verme entre tanto y tantos
momentos del infinito
en que el silencio y el grito
son las metas de este canto.
Lo que veo nunca vi,
lo que he sentido y que siento
hara brotar el momento...

In 2003, the name of the stadium was changed to Estadio Victor Jara.

(Tried to find an English translation on line, but none of them did it any justice. Para los Gringos que no hablan espanol, get a Spanish-speaking friend to tell you all about it)

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 05:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I was just putting the finishing touches on a funny blog entry about this story about a study that, as a side effect, showed a correlation between the severity of a mental patient's psychosis and his/her support for President Bush. It was filled with pictures of people in straitjackets with giggle-inducing captions beneath them.

I then went on to provide cogent analysis of the contested House race in FL-13, where Christine Jennings, and now Howard Dean, are demanding a revote due to computer errors in that election. I also helpfully pointed out that, at last, our long national nightmare of paperless electronic voting is likely to be over.

I included photos of Jennings and her opponent, Vern Buchanan, and made some cracks about Diebold and whatnot.

Unfortunately, all of that work went up in smoke when my computer crashed. So now, this is all you're getting. See y'all Monday.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 03:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

First of all, let me point out that you can download your very own copy of the Iraq Study Group's report here. It's about 150 pages long, and it isn't exactly a page-turner. But, having read much of the report, I think it's pretty safe to say this much -- Iraq is screwed, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

The 10-man team that made up the ISG -- five Democrats, five Republicans -- was skewed toward the president's side of things from the start, but that's not really heavy criticism. It was expected. One of the chairs of the group is James Baker, the Bushes' fixer since back in the days when poppy was playing puppeteer behind the swiftly deteriorating brain of Ronald Reagan. Hell, they go back even further, really, to the beginnings of their political lives -- Baker was Poppy Bush's campaign manager during the man's unsuccessful run for the U.S. Senate in 1970. Baker was Reagan's Chief of Staff, then his Sec. of the Treasury, then Bush I's Sec. of State. He ran Bush II's recount-halting operation in Florida during the contested 2000 election, and represented Saudi Arabia when it was sued by the families of 9/11 victims. The man has spent his political life fixing the problems of the Bush family and its allies.

Meanwhile, the other chair, Lee Hamilton, is the Republican's go-to Democrat when they need someone who will whitewash a Republican cover-up and give a whiff of bipartisanship to an otherwise partisan proceeding. He has spent most of his career putting lipstick on pigs. Hamilton was the chair of the Select Committee to Investigate Covert Arms Transactions with Iran, and decided during the Iran-Contra hearings that investigating the POTUS and V-P wouldn't be "good for the country." Since then, Hamilton has served as the vice-chair of the 9/11 Commission, which famously refused to investigate pre-9/11 intelligence or put administration officials under oath. And now, here he is again chairing the Iraq Study Group.

The other Republicans in the ISG include Lawrence Eagleburger, who succeeded Baker as Poppy Bush's Sec. of State; Ed Meese, Reagan's attorney general, deeply involved in Iran-Contra, corrupt and instigator of the free-speech-trampling Meese Commission; Sandra Day O'Connor, who likely needs no introduction; and Alan Simpson, an admittedly moderate Republican out of Wyoming who, however, has close ties to Dick Cheney and Poppy Bush.

And the Democrats? Vernon Jordan, the only man on the committee never to have a major position in any administration, but who currently sits on the board Dow Jones, whose media wing is notoriously far-right (see the Wall Street Journal editorial page); Leon Panetta, former Republican who served as Clinton's chief of staff for three years; William Perry, who served as Clinton's Sec. of Defense for three years; and Chuck Robb, who co-founded the right-leaning Democratic Leadership Council and whose last successful campaign for senator from Virginia, in 1994, included endorsements by major Republican figures such as William Colby, Elliot Richardson, William Ruckelshaus, and then-Republican James Webb.

See what's happening here? The ISG was billed as a bipartisan group, people who have proven they can all reach across the aisle. Instead, it's a group of Democrats who have done far more than reach across the aisle, often times dwelling on the other side, mixed in with a bunch of Bush I and Reagan administration officials, all of them chaired by two men who have a history of cleaning up messes for the Bush family.

And so it goes.

But nevermind the group's make-up. The findings are what's important here, and it's those findings that pretty much spell disaster for Iraq. What follows is the Iraq Study Group's Executive Summary (because, you know, our Chief Executive can't be bothered to read the whole thing. So why should you?). After that, I condense it further, and then offer a few helpful pointers.

Executive Summary
The situation in Iraq is grave and deteriorating. There is no
path that can guarantee success, but the prospects can be improved.
In this report, we make a number of recommendations
for actions to be taken in Iraq, the United States, and the region.
Our most important recommendations call for new and
enhanced diplomatic and political efforts in Iraq and the region,
and a change in the primary mission of U.S. forces in Iraq
that will enable the United States to begin to move its combat
forces out of Iraq responsibly. We believe that these two recommendations
are equally important and reinforce one another.
If they are effectively implemented, and if the Iraqi government
moves forward with national reconciliation, Iraqis will have an
opportunity for a better future, terrorism will be dealt a blow,
stability will be enhanced in an important part of the world, and
America’s credibility, interests, and values will be protected.
The challenges in Iraq are complex. Violence is increasing
in scope and lethality. It is fed by a Sunni Arab insurgency, Shiite
militias and death squads, al Qaeda, and widespread criminality.
Sectarian conflict is the principal challenge to stability.
The Iraqi people have a democratically elected government, yet
it is not adequately advancing national reconciliation, providing
basic security, or delivering essential services. Pessimism is pervasive.
If the situation continues to deteriorate, the consequences
could be severe. A slide toward chaos could trigger the collapse
of Iraq’s government and a humanitarian catastrophe. Neighboring
countries could intervene. Sunni-Shia clashes could
spread. Al Qaeda could win a propaganda victory and expand
its base of operations. The global standing of the United States
could be diminished. Americans could become more polarized.
During the past nine months we have considered a full
range of approaches for moving forward. All have flaws. Our
recommended course has shortcomings, but we firmly believe
that it includes the best strategies and tactics to positively influence
the outcome in Iraq and the region.

External Approach
The policies and actions of Iraq’s neighbors greatly affect its
stability and prosperity. No country in the region will benefit in
the long term from a chaotic Iraq. Yet Iraq’s neighbors are not
doing enough to help Iraq achieve stability. Some are undercutting
stability.

The United States should immediately launch a new
diplomatic offensive to build an international consensus for stability
in Iraq and the region. This diplomatic effort should include
every country that has an interest in avoiding a chaotic
Iraq, including all of Iraq’s neighbors. Iraq’s neighbors and key
states in and outside the region should form a support group to
reinforce security and national reconciliation within Iraq, neither
of which Iraq can achieve on its own.

Given the ability of Iran and Syria to influence events
within Iraq and their interest in avoiding chaos in Iraq, the
United States should try to engage them constructively. In
seeking to influence the behavior of both countries, the United
States has disincentives and incentives available. Iran should
stem the flow of arms and training to Iraq, respect Iraq’s sovereignty
and territorial integrity, and use its influence over Iraqi
Shia groups to encourage national reconciliation. The issue of
Iran’s nuclear programs should continue to be dealt with by the
five permanent members of the United Nations Security
Council plus Germany. Syria should control its border with
Iraq to stem the flow of funding, insurgents, and terrorists in
and out of Iraq.

The United States cannot achieve its goals in the Middle
East unless it deals directly with the Arab-Israeli conflict and
regional instability. There must be a renewed and sustained
commitment by the United States to a comprehensive Arab-
Israeli peace on all fronts: Lebanon, Syria, and President Bush’s
June 2002 commitment to a two-state solution for Israel and
Palestine. This commitment must include direct talks with, by,
and between Israel, Lebanon, Palestinians (those who accept
Israel’s right to exist), and Syria.

As the United States develops its approach toward Iraq
and the Middle East, the United States should provide additional
political, economic, and military support for Afghanistan,
including resources that might become available as combat
forces are moved out of Iraq.

Internal Approach
The most important questions about Iraq’s future are now the
responsibility of Iraqis. The United States must adjust its role
in Iraq to encourage the Iraqi people to take control of their
own destiny.

The Iraqi government should accelerate assuming responsibility
for Iraqi security by increasing the number and
quality of Iraqi Army brigades. While this process is under way,
and to facilitate it, the United States should significantly increase
the number of U.S. military personnel, including combat
troops, imbedded in and supporting Iraqi Army units. As
these actions proceed, U.S. combat forces could begin to move
out of Iraq.

The primary mission of U.S. forces in Iraq should evolve
to one of supporting the Iraqi army, which would take over primary
responsibility for combat operations. By the first quarter
of 2008, subject to unexpected developments in the security
situation on the ground, all combat brigades not necessary for
force protection could be out of Iraq. At that time, U.S. combat
forces in Iraq could be deployed only in units embedded with
Iraqi forces, in rapid-reaction and special operations teams,
and in training, equipping, advising, force protection, and
search and rescue. Intelligence and support efforts would continue.
A vital mission of those rapid reaction and special operations
forces would be to undertake strikes against al Qaeda in
Iraq.

As redeployment proceeds, military leaders should emphasize
training and education of forces that have returned to
the United States in order to restore the force to full combat
capability. As equipment returns to the United States, Congress
should appropriate sufficient funds to restore the equipment
over the next five years.

The United States should work closely with Iraq’s leaders
to support the achievement of specific objectives—or milestones
—on national reconciliation, security, and governance.
Miracles cannot be expected, but the people of Iraq have the
right to expect action and progress. The Iraqi government
needs to show its own citizens—and the citizens of the United
States and other countries—that it deserves continued support.
Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, in consultation with the
United States, has put forward a set of milestones critical for
Iraq. His list is a good start, but it must be expanded to include
milestones that can strengthen the government and benefit the
Iraqi people. President Bush and his national security team
should remain in close and frequent contact with the Iraqi
leadership to convey a clear message: there must be prompt action
by the Iraqi government to make substantial progress toward
the achievement of these milestones.

If the Iraqi government demonstrates political will and
makes substantial progress toward the achievement of milestones
on national reconciliation, security, and governance, the
United States should make clear its willingness to continue
training, assistance, and support for Iraq’s security forces and to
continue political, military, and economic support. If the Iraqi
government does not make substantial progress toward the
achievement of milestones on national reconciliation, security,
and governance, the United States should reduce its political,
military, or economic support for the Iraqi government.
It is clear that the Iraqi government will need assistance
from the United States for some time to come, especially in
carrying out security responsibilities. Yet the United States
must make it clear to the Iraqi government that the United
States could carry out its plans, including planned redeployments,
even if the Iraqi government did not implement their
planned changes. The United States must not make an openended
commitment to keep large numbers of American troops
deployed in Iraq.

Our report makes recommendations in several other areas.
They include improvements to the Iraqi criminal justice system,
the Iraqi oil sector, the U.S. reconstruction efforts in Iraq,
the U.S. budget process, the training of U.S. government personnel,
and U.S. intelligence capabilities.

Conclusion
It is the unanimous view of the Iraq Study Group that these
recommendations offer a new way forward for the United
States in Iraq and the region. They are comprehensive and
need to be implemented in a coordinated fashion. They should
not be separated or carried out in isolation. The dynamics of
the region are as important to Iraq as events within Iraq.
The challenges are daunting. There will be difficult days
ahead. But by pursuing this new way forward, Iraq, the region,
and the United States of America can emerge stronger.

***********************************************************************************************************************************

You get all that? So, in short, the ISG says:
1) The situation in Iraq is bad and getting worse (yeah, no shit) -- thus, Bush's current strategy is failing
2) The U.S. must commit to heavy diplomacy with Iran and Syria
3) The U.S. must have "direct talks with, by, and between Israel, Lebanon, Palestinians (those who accept Israel’s right to exist), and Syria"
4) Inside Iraq, U.S. forces should be out of combat roles by the beginning of 2008.
5) U.S. forces should serve to advise and train the Iraqi army, and also be embedded with Iraqi army troops in the field.
6) (And this one is real important) The ISG's findings "are comprehensive and need to be implemented in a coordinated fashion. They should not be separated or carried out in isolation."

Now, Bush has already said, "we probably won't agree with every proposal." But the ISG states in no uncertain terms that, for success, every proposal should be implemented together. So that pretty much tosses aside this whole idea. What's more, I expect the president to take the stupidest route possible -- he will refuse to increase diplomatic ties in the region, while also embedding U.S. troops in Iraqi units as the report recommends. To quote retired Army Lt. Col. Ralph Peters, from a story in The Nation, this will create "tens of thousands of hostages in uniform."

Political expediency will lead Bush to draw down combat troops and embed U.S. troops with Iraqi forces. But he'll be damned before he starts talking with Syria. Add both of these factors up, and you get a continued supply of bombs and guns from Iran, plus a couple of U.S. troops sitting in the middle of every squad of angry, well-armed Shiites who often owe more allegiance to paramilitary militias than the actual government.

What could possibly go wrong?

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 12:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've been working on this theory for a while now, and I think I've got it down to a mathematical equation: The weirdness of a news story is directly proportional to its proximity to Florida. And there's an important corollary, which I'll call Sweeney's Law, because I'm just that egotistical. Anyway, this law states: Where a bizarre news story or personality does not have a connection to Florida, one will eventually surface.

For example, if the Terri Schiavo stupidity hadn't happened in Florida, invariably, her parents would have been from here, or her husband, or the largest group of mouth-breathing weirdos who wouldn't let the poor woman just die already.

But let's take an actual, and very recent, example of Sweeney's Law: The upcoming presidential campaign of Senator Sam Brownshirt (R-Kan.)

A while back, I posted a blog entry describing a site where you can see which of the potential 2008 presidential candidates is most in line with your views. I took the test back then, and Russ Feingold finished at 100%, while Brownshirt finished at 9%. Today, I took the test again. Here's my results:

(100%) 1: Sen. Barack Obama (D)
(96%) 2: Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D)
(96%) 3: Sen. Russ Feingold (D)
(90%) 4: Gov. Bill Richardson (D)
(82%) 5: Sen. John Kerry (D)
(81%) 6: Ex-VP Al Gore (D)
(79%) 7: Ex-Sen. John Edwards (D)
(77%) 8: Retired Gen. Wesley Clark (D)
(76%) 9: Sen. Christopher Dodd (D)
(74%) 10: Gov. Tom Vilsack (D)
(70%) 11: Sen. Joseph Biden (D)
(68%) 12: Sen. Hillary Clinton (D)
(58%) 13: Sen. Evan Bayh (D)
(47%) 14: Gov. Mike Huckabee (R)
(44%) 15: Gov. Mitt Romney (R)
(43%) 16: Ex-Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R)
(35%) 17: Ex-Rep. Newt Gingrich (R)
(35%) 18: Gov. George Pataki (R)
(29%) 19: Sec. Condoleezza Rice (R)
(20%) 20: Rep. Tom Tancredo (R)
(20%) 21: Sen. John McCain (R)
(15%) 22: Sen. Chuck Hagel (R)
(10%) 23: Sen. George Allen (R)
(6%) 24: Sen. Sam Brownback (R)

Interestingly, Obama has topped my chart, and Dennis Kucinich has tied my former No. 1. Also interestingly, Senator Brownshirt has somehow managed to drop another three points, to a paltry 6%. Now that Bill Frist has ruled out a presidential campaign, Brownshirt is the likely candidate of the religio-crazies on the right. And since they vote en masse in the primary election, there's even an outside shot of his being the nominee.

Sen. Sam Brownshirt, alleged GOP presidential nominee

In any case, Brownshirt is certainly running. He announced the formation of an exploratory committee over the weekend. And -- here's the Sweeney's Law part -- said committee includes Tom Monaghan, the deeply nutty founder of Domino's Pizza who is currently in the middle of building a rightwing fundamentalist utopia in southwest Florida.

Tom Monaghan, Founder of Domino's Pizza, and batshit-insane fundamentalist

Brownback -- I'll stop petulantly referring to him as "Brownshirt" now, though the label fits -- has even set up his presidential campaign Web site, Brownback.com.

President Brownback? A deeply troubling thought. He'd probably have folks like me shipped off to Guantanamo, where we'd be forced to copy the Bible by hand for the rest of our lives. A Brownback presidency would be the end of America as we know it -- if Bush's presidency hasn't already taken us too far down Police State Road. Sometimes, it's difficult to say.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 03:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

To a certain, attuned few like me, the news came fast and furious this weekend. Not the sort of pulverizing, Katrina/9-11 type stuff, but the weekend seemed rife with some of the best news analysis I've read in a long time.

It started with Saturday's Miami Herald and political columnist Beth Reinhard's story on Charlie Crist.

Reinhard, for what she's worth, is probably the best person doing her job in South Florida today. That is, she's probably the best daily-newspaper columnist/reporter covering politics on all levels.

Thumbs up for Beth

She describes Crist, his policies and his views as "Everything and nothing, hollow and true." Well said. She doesn't make the next step, and go from calling him a populist to a demagogue, but I don't think that's an obvious step to make with the man. Crist doesn't fit the traditional form of the demagogue -- no fiery speeches, impassioned pleas to the emotional, irrational side of the voters. However, while Reinhard certainly has a point regarding Crist's platitudes, it's a bit like denegrating the incoming Democratic congress, which is such sport among Republican talking heads. People like Sean Hannity have already termed it a "failed Congress" -- and it hasn't even started! While I concur that Crist is a populist, and perhaps a demagogue, the proof of whether he actually does things for the people or just talks about it will lie in the coming months.

For now, the man seems the sort of empty suit so typical of modern politicians. In a previous column, Reinhard referred to Crist's opponent, Jim Davis, as "vanilla." In fact, that word could be used to describe Davis, Crist, Ron Klein and the vast majority of other elected officials operating in America today. Vessels to be filled with the factoids of their advisors. Weird, well-tanned, perfectly coifed captains of industry, positions generally unknown, who slouch toward Tallahassee or Washington to be born. Everytime we're offered a glimpse inside the lives of the uber-powerful, the result is usually nightmarish, but best not to think too hard about that, or about Mark Foley or the bizarre rituals said to take place at Bohemian Grove. Men like Crist and Davis are just the bland, empty suits they appear to be. Nothing to see here, move along. Ho ho!

Anyway, if Crist actually somehow does work for the people and manages to drop insurance rates and whatnot, I'll give him a thumbs up then. Until then, this jury is out.

Thumbs neither up nor down for Crist.

The Sunday Washington Post came out with the semiannual "Just How Bad a President Is George Bush?" stories, offering the takes of four major historians:
He's the Worst Ever by Eric Foner (history prof. at Columbia)
Move Over, Hoover by Douglas Brinkley (Should need no introduction)
At Least He's Not Nixon by David Greenberg (history/media studies prof. at Rutgers)
Time's On His Side by Vincent Cannato (history prof. at University of Mass. -- Boston)