Jeb Bush -- Just Another Closeted Conservative on the Road to the Death of the Republican Dream
Big, big news over this weekend. One former page confirmed that disgraced pariah Mark Foley did, in fact, use the congressional page program as a boy buffet, waiting until after they were legal to have sex with them. The Party of Reilgio-Crazy Morality now officially includes at least one Boy-Hopping Sex Fiend -- one they tried to cover up for.
Meanwhile, that nasty little halfwit in North Korea has The Bomb. Terrible, terrible. We have become like Fifth Century Rome -- there are barbarians at the gate, but we are too busy buggering boys to notice, and so the fall. We have come to be the assholes.
But neither the Boys nor the Bomb made for the weirdest news of the weekend. That came from Jeb Bush, who was campaigning in Pennsylvania for Rick Santorum, who has had his own problems with bestiality and gay marriage.
The story had me giggling outloud, and it certainly bears repeating, because Jeb finally pays a little price for his relentlessly uncaring pissant attitude toward the voters, and the American people in general. While on his way to a dinner, Jeb was met by about 30 protestors. Being Jeb, he blew them a kiss. That's when things got nasty. The protestors, made up not of anti-war pacifists but of members of the United Steelworkers union, surged forward. Jeb retreated to the subway station, along with a security guard and a female aide. He fled down an escalator to the subway's mezzanine level, like a purse snatcher trying to make off with his ill-gotten goods. The protestors, now numbering about 50 with 75 more remaining on the streets, followed Jeb, yelling at him to get out of town and declaring Pittsburgh a "Santorum Free Zone." Police showed up to disperse the crowd. While they did so, Jeb Bush, governor of the state of Florida and brother of the leader of the Free World, hid inside a supply closet.
Jeb Bush, Closeted Republican
I wonder what Jeb thought while he stood in there? Did he think the game was finally up? That the protestors, finally overcome with grief and horror at the direction his family has taken this country, would overwhelm the cops and rip open the supply closet door, carrying him off to Lord-knows-what-terrible fate? I like to think so. I like to think that he sweated and moaned and tried desperately not to soil his pants, but I doubt it went down like that. What caused Jeb to have to flee to the closet in the first place -- his wantonly arrogant attitude toward average American citizens -- probably gave him comfort while he was there. Instead of fearing for his own skin, he was probably just angry that his schedule had been thrown off, and wished that the cops would just get on with the business of tear-gassing the crowd.
But for Jeb, and for others like him, the Day of Reckoning is nigh. Newsweek's latest poll has President Bush at a 33 percent approval rating -- the lowest in the history of that poll. And Time's latest cover story proclaims the death of everything Republican in Washington. The time has come. The good may die young, but the evil are hounded and whipped and plagued into early old age, finally dying of guinea worm or Mad Cow disease, after going bald and morbidly obese by the age of 32.
The good may die young, but karma is a fucking bitch.
Comments
As a 43-year Florida resident, my disgust on the Jeb meter is over the top...but his so-called love affair with the citizens of Florida frightened me, due to the rumor that Jeb would be annointed the next USA Prez of the Bush dynasty.
And Jeb is the smart one...so as governor of a powerful state like Florida and his seemingly snake charming of the typical Floridian, I just remained transfixed, in political horror. Then then Schiavo show hit...things started to unravel...now that Foley is plastered all over the news and Jebbie is hiding in closets, you are right-karma is a bitch and boy, am I enjoying it...because one thing is certain....if the Bush plan was to put George W. in place first to pave the path for Jeb in 2008, I would say the hand of God has interfered and supplied the Dems with enough karmic paydirt to derail any thought of Jeb as a viable Rep candidate. I am only glad that Jeb, with his intellectual skills, was not Prez first..otherwise, we very well may have been in far worse shape and I can't even imagine what that might be like.
Posted by: Sunny | October 14, 2006 10:28 AM