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The Stupidest Man in the World, Part I

I can't take it any more. This guy has got to be the most idiotic person in the world. Who could possibly even come close? Holy crap, this dude is a moron of such colossal extent that I find it breathtaking and in defiance of all logic that he is able to feed himself, much less hold down the incredibly important job that he has.

Bet you think I meant the guy on the left in this picture:


Well, you're wrong. Sure, Bush is a little slow on the uptake, but he's nothing compared to CNN Morning Anchor Miles O'Brien.

Yeah, this guy. Holy Mother of Jesus, what a dolt.

Every morning when I wake up, I click on the news to see what happened the night before. MSNBC insists on screening footage of Don Imus' radio show for reasons I've never understood. So it's either I watch CNN's American Morning and have my intelligence insulted, or go to Fox News and have my ethics assaulted. I go with the former option.

And at least once a week, but usually far more often, Miles O'Brien will come out with a statement so stupid, so moronic, so utterly ignorant, that it leaves co-anchor Soledad O'Brien and whatever guest they have on momentarily speechless. It's actually pretty funny to watch. I'm convinced they only brought Miles on so that they could have the cutesy O'Brien/O'Brien lineup for the morning show. Well, it's stopped being cute. God damn it, I am sick to death of this empty head giving me my news.

I'll give y'all an example. This morning, live from the Middle East, Miles was interviewing Marine Brigadier General Carl Jensen, the U.S. Evacuation Mission Commander. Although I saw this idiocy with my own eyes, I'll quote from the CNN transcript (see it for yourself here).

Miles asked of the general: "Final thought here -- Lebanon is a part of your anthem in the Marines, 'the shores of Tripoli' and all. It's also one of the darkest chapters in the U.S. Marine Corps history, going back to 1983, the Hezbollah bombing of the barracks there, 241 Marines died. On a personal level, what's it like having marines back in Lebanon, one way or another?"

Aside from being a throwaway, sentimental question without any real news purpose whatsoever, Miles referenced the "Shores of Tripoli" -- which are in Libya, not Lebanon. The general was kind enough not to point out Miles' stupidity, but instead discussed the "sacred ground" of the Beirut bombing. There is a Tripoli in Lebanon, I should point out -- which is likely the reason for Miles' mistake. He learned of a Tripoli in Lebanon and just assumed it was the one in the song, without bothering to check his facts like even a first-year rookie reporter would.

Now, I don't expect everyone to know that the "Shores of Tripoli" from the Marine Hymn are in Libya, and are in fact a reference to the First Barbary War. But I do expect a major cable news anchor to know it. And failing that, I expect him to at least check his freaking facts. How many people out there are now convinced that the "Shores of Tripoli" are in Lebanon, because Miles O'Brien said so? Does this jagoff not realize the power he has to influence and educate?

Moving on. Much later in American Morning, Miles had this to say (also per transcript, here): "Soledad, before this all began here, Haifa was viewed as a safe place, even though it is so close to that northern border. The mayor, when he was serving in the Knesset in his previous political job, pushed to have the Israelis leave Southern Lebanon in 2000. I said to him today, would you like those Israelis to move back in? Would you like an occupation of Southern Lebanon? He said never, never would that be a good plan. Even though, perhaps, that might mean a measure of safety for the people here -- Soledad."

That last sentence, of course, reveals that Miles is shocked that the mayor wouldn't want an occupation of Southern Lebanon. This suggests that Miles is unaware that, the last time Israel occupied Lebanon, Hezbollah was created as a direct result.

Thus, we see that Miles appears to be utterly unaware of the history, geography or politics of the entire region. So -- Why the fuck is he covering it?

In the coming days, I'll be posting more on Miles, until CNN has the good sense to fire him. Parts II through MMDCXXVI on The Stupidest Man in the World will be forthcoming. It shouldn't be too hard -- after all, as stated toward the beginning of this blog entry, Miles makes an ass out of himself on a more-than-weekly basis.

As for the conflict itself -- well, that's why I haven't been posting a lot in the past few days. I have very little to say. It saddens me to see so many people die in a region that has already seen far too much bloodshed. I think a ceasefire should be instituted as soon as possible, regardless of whether or not Hezbollah has been completely destroyed. But I also think lasting peace in the region is, at this point and for the foreseeable future, an impossibility. Life ain't always perfect, and sometimes -- hell, a lot of the time -- it's downright mean. For now, I just hope the Lebanese and Israeli citizens keep their heads down and stay alive.


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