Here's the president after speaking to the NAACP, slapping Congressman Al Green.

Where does it end? How long until someone, Karl Rove probably, takes Bush aside and says something. I can see it now:

(Scene opens)

"Pardon me, sir. Do you have a moment? ... Great. Please, come on inside and take a seat. ... No, no. You don't have to sit on the floor, sir. Take a chair. Great.

"Listen, Mr. President, I just wanted to take a moment of your time to point out some things you might want to avoid in the future. ... What? ... Yes, I know you don't make mistakes. These aren't mistakes. More like improprieties.

"Mr. President, in the future, please avoid rubbing the shoulders of foreign leaders. It's just that, in some other countries, that may be seen as 'looking down' at the person receiving the massage. And we all know what a chip those Krauts have on their shoulders, eh Mr. President? ... Ho ho ho! Hitler indeed, sir! Well played.

"But to get back to the situation at hand. Um, now, this one's a bit more delicate. Sir, I know you like it, but please stop rubbing bald heads. ... Whoa! Take it easy, sir! ... Mr. President, I know how you feel about bald heads. Believe me, I do. We've all got our favorite body parts. Just look at your Chief of Staff, Josh Bolten, and his creepy photos of your hands. ... What? .... Yes, Mr. President, you do have very nice hands. But that doesn't give you a reason to go slapping congressmen around, which brings me to my next point.

"Yes, sir, I know you like to call Congressman Green "Slappy." I get the joke, but ... Mr. President. Mr. President, please stop rubbing my head, sir.

(Heavy sigh)

End Scene

Seriously, though, somebody's really gotta do something about our leader. I think he's slipping off the deep end, and we don't want a bald-obsessed, batshit-insane, bitch-slapping backrubber with his finger on the button, do we?