I can't articulate why, but I think this is the coolest Photoshop I've ever seen
Nuff said
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« April 2006 | Main | June 2006 »
May 31, 2006
May 30, 2006
Another rat flees the sinking ship -- Treasury Secretary John Snow resigns
According to the AP, Treasury Secretary John Snow will resign and be replaced by Goldman Sachs chairman Henry Paulson. The story offers nothing in the way of explanation, but I think we all know the reason behind it — the recent hiring of Tony Snow as press secretary. Having two Snows in the White House would have been way too confusing for the president. I mean, does this honestly look like the kind of guy who has his act together:
President Bush, alleged moron
Seriously, though, this seems like another obvious attempt to shake things up in the Bush administration — to put new lipstick on a bloated pig. First chief of staff Andrew Card, then CIA Director Porter Goss, then Press Secretary Scott McClellan and now the Secretary of the Treasury.
The basic problem with this, though, is that America doesn't give a damn about any of these people. Bush's low poll numbers are because of Bush himself and his asinine policies, both foreign and domestic, not because of some inability to articulate how great those policies are.
John Snow, alleged former Treasury Secretary
I'm curious what Snow will have to say afterward, but it probably won't be too exciting. After Bush's first Treasury Secretary, Paul O'Neill, resigned and then wrote a book in which he stated, among other things, that Bush intended to invade Iraq from the first day of his presidency, we can be sure that Bush made damn certain to get a loyal guy in there to replace O'Neill.
As for Paulson, he's Bush's sort of guy. What Bush might refer to as "his base." After all, dude's worth half a freaking billion dollars.
Henry Paulson, millionaire five hundred times over and alleged new Secretary of the Treasury
May 26, 2006
Ah, Shit on a Fucking Shit Sandwich ... Desmond Dekker died.
I loved this guy. He was so damn cool it was absurd, and without him, there would not have been a Bob Marley as we know him -- hell, reggae music itself would not exist as we know it. Me and a college buddy had a tradition. Whenever we left a concert, as our car slowly crawled through the traffic exiting the show, we would play "The Israelites" at maximum volume; just roll down the windows, crank the stereo to the point of serious permanent hearing loss and wail. No matter what music came from any parked car or anywhere else in the traffic, "The Israelites" always trumped it. People turned their shit down to hear ours. There will never be another Desmond Dekker. Hell, we're lucky we had one in the first place.
Desmond Dekker at his final concert, May 11, 2006
May 24, 2006
Hard Times and Brotherly Love
I haven't posted any blog entries for a while because nothing has really scratched my ire. Strangely, most of the big news comes out of Philadelphia these days, a terrifying prospect for anyone who has ever been to the alleged City of Brotherly Love. In the annals of human history, I doubt any city has ever had a more ironic nickname. Particularly after one bit of news last week regarding the genital mutilation of some poor sap from that town.
The story hit the Philadelphia Daily News last Thursday in an article by Dana DiFilippo that begins "With their wedding anniversary less than two weeks away, Howard Randolph was thinking romance. He hoped to take his wife, Monica, out for an intimate dinner and maybe an oldies-but-goodies show to celebrate 11 years of matrimony. But yesterday, his mind was more on divorce and jail for his wife after she almost became Philadelphia's own Lorena Bobbitt. Monica Randolph didn't need a kitchen knife. She took matters into her own hands."
The article then goes on to describe how Monica leapt onto Howard while he slept and shredded his sac. Perhaps the most evocate image in the story is the reference to Howard's "gore-slicked gonads."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
As hinted in the opening paragraph, I have my own sordid history with Philly, most of which involves daylight robbery, Betsy Ross' house, a shady back-alley meeting behind a Quality Inn, public urination and the Liberty Bell. Remind me to tell you about it one of these days once the relevant statutes of limitations have passed.
Anyway, the other news coming out of the hometown of the worst team in baseball other than the Marlins is the fact that both of the city's papers, the Daily News and the Inquirer have been sold to an investment group led by one Brian Tierney and one Bruce Toll. The seller, McClatchy group, had bought the papers when it bought Knight Ridder a few weeks back. McClatchy's holding onto the Miami Herald and most of the other KR papers, but selling off 12 of them. Of those 12, the two Philly papers are certainly the most well known.
From the story on Yahoo, "Tierney has been active in local Republican circles and co-chaired the GOP candidate's campaign in the last mayoral election. Both he and Toll have said they won't influence editorial coverage."
If you believe that, I've got oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you. Tierney wasn't just active in GOP circles. According to some Pennsylvanians of my acquaintance, the man used to appear on a Philly radio station's Sunday public affairs talk show, and the views he espoused put him somewhere to the right of Pennsylvania's own Senator Rick Santorum, who once compared gay marriage to bestiality and polygamy.
As for Toll, to put a local spin on it, Toll's buying both major papers would be like Bergeron buying the Sun-Sentinel and the Palm Beach Post, then turning around and saying the papers will be even-handed when it comes to overdevelopment in South Florida. Would you believe him? In fact, Toll makes Bergeron look like a cheap slumlord -- Toll's development company, Toll Brothers Inc., is the largest builder of luxury homes in the country, which certainly puts it on par to be the largest builder of luxury homes on the planet.
Ah well. Might as well be open-minded and cautiously optimistic about these things. There's an upcoming senatorial election in Pennsylvania, and the incumbent, the aforementioned Santorum, is actually behind the challenger in the polls -- something of a rarity in our electoral system, even as disaffected as most voters are with the president and the GOP-controlled Congress. Anyhow, whether or not the Philly papers' coverage starts leaning Santorum this summer will tell volumes about how hands-off Tierney and Toll intend to be.
As a final thought on this, I think it goes without saying that, when real estate developers, the right wing and media manipulation come together, there's bound to be a connection to our backyard. So, here's one: Bruce Toll graduated from the University of Miami in 1965.
Bruce Toll, possibly the biggest developer in the world, and now a burgeoning media baron
Moving on to better things, y'all heard the new album by Grandaddy, Just Like the Fambly Cat? It's real good. Why the hell this band had to break up is beyond me. I also appreciate Ticonderoga, the new album by Morning 40 Federation, a New Orleans group that the New Orleans Times-Picayune refered to as "the 9th Ward's unofficial house band" -- you know, back when there was a 9th Ward. Anyway, judging from my first listen, the album appears to be about nothing but women, drugs and booze, so you know it's probably good.
Brilliant and sadly defunct Grandaddy
Morning 40 Federation in happier, less-flooded times
And finally, clear your calendars for June 11, 2006. Fort Lauderdale's Revolution will be hosting a show by newly formed Independent Working Artists' Network. It'll feature tons and tons and tons of musicians and artists, and it'll be a hell of a lot of fun. Here's all the info:
Go to this event. It will be awesome.
May 15, 2006
Did I say Bush would be in the 20s by August? Um... I meant next week.
In my last blog entry, discussing Bush's 31 percent approval rating, I predicted he'd crack the 20s by August 1. Chrissake, my abilities, or lack thereof, as a political prognosticator are really getting worrisome. Is this the same guy that predicted no WMDs in Iraq? No connection to al-Qaeda from Iraq? That Bush would win in 2000 after an impossibly tight race in Florida? Man, I am seriously slipping. Especially after news of the latest Harris poll, which puts Bush at 29 percent. At this rate, the possibility of Bush sinking to -- and even beyond -- Nixon's low of 24 percent is very real. Hell, by August, he could even surpass Truman's all-time low of 22 percent. Bush has been sent a clear message: Mr. President, we hate you like cancer.
George W. Bush, allegedly less approved of than communicable disease
But I don't want to talk about Bush. Stick a fork in him -- he's done. I want to talk about Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and what a colossally inept, old and in-the-way would-be presidential contender she has become.
Specifically, I want to talk about Hillary's speech before the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Despite it's official-sounding name, the Chamber is not an official government organization. It's the most powerful pro-business lobby in America. Now, I know what you're thinking. Does big business actually need a powerful lobby? Christ in a cornrow, don't they already run things as it is?
Well, that's true. But neither here nor there. The real disturbing thing is reading the position papers of organizations like the Chamber -- they sound like they were issued by some sort of inhuman, Matrix-operating artificial intelligence that doesn't just ignore the trials and tribulations of the average American but, in fact, has no real conception of such problems, like Mr. Spock trying to understand human emotion.
Commander Spock, alleged lobbyist for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce
Anyway, Hillary said in a speech before the Chamber that young people today “think work is a four-letter word." She quickly apologized after her own 26-year-old daughter called up to bitch her out. That is, she apologized to her daughter. At a speech later before the graduating class of Long Island University, the senator said, "I said, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to convey the impression that you don’t work hard. I just want to set the bar high, because we are in a competition for the future.' ”
Bullshit, Senator. You meant what you said and that half-assed apology gets you nowhere. I am sick to death of my entire generation being brushed aside by Baby Boomers, a generation itself known best for it's self-indulgence and facile attempts at counterculture. Screw you, senator. You just enunciated in one phrase everything I hate about the generation before me -- the rampant hypocrisy of do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do that has led to such asinine results as your ex-potsmoker husband leading the War on Drugs.
Goddamn it, Hillary, if you don't think we work at all, why the hell should we work for you?
Sen. Hillary Clinton, alleged panderer to Big Business and typical Baby Boomer hypocrite
May 9, 2006
The polling limbo continues -- how low can you go?
Good God. 31 freaking percent. I mean, really now. How much lower can this possibly go? How much more scorn can the American public heap on Bush? Where does it all end? And how?
Only four other presidents have ever polled so low -- Truman, whose entire presidency was a roller coaster in the polls; Carter, whose ratings crumbled with the hostage crisis; Bush Sr., who saw a simiilar crash after going back on his promise of "No new taxes;" and, of course, Nixon. With nothing but upcoming investigations on the horizon, including sleazy tales of hookers and the possible -- nay, likely -- indictment of Karl Rove, this only stands to go lower. With two wars already underway in Afghanistan and Iraq, brinksmanship with Iran isn't going to help matters. The American people like a good war, when we're not already involved in one. We were all for war with Mexico, Spain, Grenada, Panama, Afghanistan, etc.
But when we were already in Vietnam and Nixon invaded Cambodia, the public slammed him. And if Bush decides to wander a little eastward from Iraq and westward from Afghanistan, he'll be greeted with a similar outcry.
Couple that with Republicans in Congress revolting against the president, even in his nomination of Gen. Hayden to the position of CIA director, and neither upcoming foreign nor domestic news bodes well for Bush. By August, he could crack the 20s. It can't go much farther South than that -- Nixon was around 25 percent when he resigned. But Nixon's numbers provide no comfort for this doomed ship of state.
The Bush Administration, by the November election
May 5, 2006
Damn it, Jim, I'm a rock journalist, not a political analyst
When the hell did this blog become solely about politics? Good God, what a miserable business. What the hell is my problem. I've had enough, dammit! I came here to rock! We're about half way through the year now, so what follows is my Top 10 albums of the year so far, plus a Top 10 worst (not necessarily the worst, just the worst of the popular) and a few other tidbits.
My Top 10 of the first six months of 2006
(disclaimer: Of course, it's not officially the first six months, and this could change by June 1. Especially if Grandaddy's final album is any good). Note that these are in alphabetical order by artist, not order of preference.
Whatever People Say I am, That’s what I’m not by Arctic Monkeys: Yeah, yeah. I know. Totally overrated. The hyperbole from the British press was so over the top, it completely lost sight of the top and went blazing into outer space. One mag named this album in the Top 10 British albums EVER. Such ridiculousness aside, there's a reason critics wrote that garbage.
Chosen Lords by Aphex Twin: A Best Of of Richard D. James' best work, the Analord series. Must have for any fan.
You in Reverse by Built to Spill: One of the greatest bands in indie rock releases its greatest album of the 21st Century. OK, OK. Admittedly, this is only Built to Spill's second album of the 21st Century, but this definitely beats 2001's Ancient Melodies of the Future. It's not as good as the holy trinity of 1990s albums -- There's Nothing Wrong With Love, Perfect From Now On and Keep It Like a Secret -- but it doesn't have to be. Doug Martsch is a god. Speaking of gods, it's not just Martsch's guitar playing. Lyrics like "Thought I saw an alien, turned out it was just God" will totally blow your mind, man!
Fox Confessor Brings the Flood by Neko Case: Every year, I have to stick one gorgeous-voiced woman on the list. This looks to be this year's pick. If she pours any of her real self into her lyrics, I think our souls may have been separated at birth. A lot of other people probably feel the same way, but that's just a testiment to her songwriting, not to my unoriginality. I hope.
Black Cadillac by Roseanne Cash: Country album of the year; The Cash is strong with this one, Lord Vader.
Pick a Bigger Weapon by The Coup: Hip-hop whose funk is so deep, it almost makes you forget about the cover to 2001's Party Music, which featured The Coup's Boots Riley blowing up the World Trade Center -- whoops! The album was pulled after the WTC did, in fact, blow up. Meanwhile, though, the duo has evolved into a great hip-hop/funk act whose radical politics cannot be ignored, even among the tight rhythms.
The Boxing Mirror by Alejandro Escovedo: The greatest album of a brilliant career. Seriously -- this is the best thing Escovedo has ever done. It's probably the album of the year. Buy it.
At War with the Mystics by The Flaming Lips: Not as good as their last couple of albums, but it still makes my top 10, which is a testiment to just how cool the Flaming Lips are. As a protest album, this is probably a little too surreal for most people. But as a soundscape, it's worth having.
Pearl Jam by Pearl Jam: I don't get the avocado either. But it's a really good album. Besides, this is one of the two major, influential acts from the early 1990s still making music that matters (along with Green Day).
Elan Vital by Pretty Girls Make Graves: Good stuff. (Can you tell my reviewing endurance is getting low?)
Living With War by Neil Young: As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry somewhere around here, this is the best protest music to come from our era.
PWN3D!!! (Or: Why your favorite band sucks)
Here's my least favorite albums of 2006 thus far:
The Black Magic Show by Elefant: What happened to these guys? This album only kinda sucks, but compared to their last album it FREAKING BLOWS
Morph the Cat by Donald Fagan: Steely Dan sucks, Donald Fagan sucks, Walter Becker sucks. Fagan's songwriting is witty, but only if you're a bit slow on the uptake yourself. It's ironic, but only slightly moreso than Alanis Morissette. Fagan writes several times about attempted suicide on this album. Hey, here's an idea, Donny ... nah. Not even I'm cruel enough to finish that joke.
Let Love In by The Goo Goo Dolls: Eh, not too surprising. Goo Goo Dolls have always been kinda trifling
Todd Smith by LL Cool J: After this, the only way Cool James could regain his fandom is if he got shot. It's worked for Tupac.
Testify by P.O.D.: If you dig this album, there's nothing I can do to help you.
We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions by Bruce Springsteen: Yeah, that's right. I said it. This album sucks. Mind you, I'm a big Springsteen fan -- in fact, I don't think I've ever said this about a Springsteen album before. But let's face it: The world did not need another version of "Froggie Went A-Courtin.' " And I sure as shit didn't need to hear Springsteen sing it. Jesus, Bruce.
Fab Four Suture by Stereolab: This album's not that bad -- it's just that it's the worst album Stereolab has ever done. It says a lot about the band that their worst album is better than most bands' masterpieces.
First Impressions of Earth by The Strokes: Back when Is This It? came out, I heartily welcomed The Strokes. The way I saw it, if they could blow up big, they and bands like them would knock all of that irritating bubble-gum pop off the charts. Say what you want about The Strokes, but I'd rather see them at No. 1 than Britney Spears. But now, three albums in, I grow weary.
10,000 Days by Tool: When did Tool become A Perfect Circle? But putting that aside, I'll say it again -- pretension does not mean it's "prog." And if there's one word that describes this too-clever, overwrought bullshit, it would have to be pretension.
For Me, It's You by Train: How the hell did these guys ever get big? Off the top of my head, I can't think of a single more-derivitive band. Ever. In the history of music.
Song I hate to admit I like
"As Good As I Once Was" by Toby Keith: I know, I know. As a flaming liberal, I'm not supposed to like Toby Keith. And as a rock critic, I'm not supposed to like him either. But, dammit, this song's like the country version of Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days." And on the eve of my 30th birthday, the lyrics speak to me as age shows its first signs.
Album I hate to admit I like
It's a tie, between two so-bad-they're-good debut albums
Morningwood by Morningwood: Utterly meaningless, coldly calculated, soullessly slick – and a hell of a lot of fun.
Wolfmother by Wolfmother: Ridiculously derivitive, sloppy, turn-it-up-to-11 cock rock – and a hell of a lot of fun.
P.S. Yes, I know my Top 10 is, in fact, a Top 11. It's my little way of honoring Spinal Tap.
Breaking: CIA Director Porter Goss resigns
Jesus, this guy barely even got his feet wet before jumping ship. How many of these little fish will float to the top before a big one does?
Porter Goss, former Florida congressman, and now former CIA director
May 4, 2006
More inane political predictions
My Senate predictions went over so well, I figure I'll throw out a few more -- namely the Florida gubernatorial race and the House races in South Florida. Mind you this is not who I want to win, but who I think will win. Speaking of that gubernatorial race, what's with sorrycharlie.com? Mudslinging by the forces of Tom Gallagher, or mudslinging by Democrats interfering in the GOP primary? It's impossible to say -- running a whois check of the site only leads to a company that offers proxy Web site services.
Anyway, here's my latest round of picks. Coming soon: My calls for the South Florida State Senate races, as well as a few notable candidates in the South Florida state legislature campaigns.
Note that, when cities have been included in a District description, not all of that city is necessarily in the district.
Governor
Incumbent: none – Jeb Bush is term-limited out
Outlook: We all know this comes down to either Charlie Crist or Tom Gallagher versus either Jim Davis or Rod Smith. In the Crist/Gallagher primary, it’s the law-and-order cred of Attorney General Crist (though the man has actually been largely ineffective, especially in rooting out political corruption, as A.G.) against the social-conservative credo of Gallagher. Sensing that Crist’s message has more cachet, a lot of organizations that normally wait until after primaries have already given Crist their endorsement — the Irish-American Republicans and the Fraternal Order of Police among them. Crist, in my opinion, also has the backing of Jeb — no small thing despite Jeb’s outgoing status. I base this on nothing but scuttlebutt and the tendency of county GOP machines to endorse Crist after visits from state-party officials, but I'm not the only one thinking along these lines, and all of this buzz leads to more monetary contributions. Look for Crist to pull out the GOP nomination.
The Democratic side is far muddier. Davis is slightly more to the left than Smith, mainly because of his strong pro-labor stance, which is remarkable in this right-to-work state. Smith has more of the state party for him (a lot of state senators and former A.G. Bob Butterworth, among others). But Davis has most of the national party based in Florida – people like Alcee Hastings, Robert Wexler, Bob Graham and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. Those big names help.
In the end, I think Davis will carry the day over Smith. This is both good and bad. Smith, with his background as a prosecutor, would cut off A.G. Crist’s law-and-order creds with some of his own. At the same time, Davis is the preferable candidate. Which means we’ll probably wind up with an admirable candidate going up against a more-electable one. Crist will run a campaign of fear, citing bogeymen like gangs, terrorism and drug runners. Davis will talk about economics and giving everyone a fair shake. If previous elections are any indication, most voters will vote with their fear over their own pocketbooks. It’s a shame — I like Davis. He seems to be a stand-up guy, and I think he’d be a hell of a governor. But he won’t be.
(STAYS GOP)
South Florida House races
District 17: Hollywood, Pembroke Pines, Carol City, North Miami Beach and North Miami
Incumbent: Kendrick Meek, Democrat
Outlook: I really like Democratic primary challenger Dufirstson Neree, both because Haitian-born Neree will more-admirably represent a growing Haitian community in the district and because I hate political dynasties of any stripe, and Meek inherited his mother’s congressional seat. Ivy Leaguer Neree also has more academic and business achievements. And it’d be a perfect opportunity for him to run, with general election opponent, Jesus freak Ishah Laurah Wright, being something of a nonentity. But, Meek should easily pull this out.
Web sites: GoNeree.com, Ishahforcongress.com, KendrickMeek.us
(STAYS DEM)
District 18: Miami, Miami Beach, Coral Gables and Coral Terrace
Incumbent: Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Republican
Outlook: In 85 percent of her votes, Ros-Lehtinen voted the same way as Tom DeLay. At the same time, that 15 percent has done enough to cater to would-be Democratic voters that she’ll probably slide. In particular, Ros-Lehtinen has co-sponsored numerous gay-rights bills, making her something of an anathema to her GOP colleagues and a hero to the Log Cabin Republicans. It should be noted that she’s more than willing to back anti-gay legislation went it won’t hurt her constituents, though – as in 1999, when she voted yes on a bill that banned gay adoption in Washington, D.C. She’s in the pocket of Scientologists, as well, and her record is full of bizarre discrepancies like the aforementioned gay example — basically, she’s a very strong conservative until it might adversely affect her chance of getting re-elected. I really like Democratic hopeful “Big Dave” Patlak, who will certainly beat out Daniel Manichello in the primary. Unfortunately, the Hispanic vote will probably carry the day for Ros-Lehtinen, the first Hispanic congresswoman.
Web sites: VotebigDave.com, Daniel06.com, House.gov/ros-lehtinen
(STAYS GOP)
District 19: Greenacres, Coral Springs and Margate
Incumbent: Robert Wexler, Democrat
Outlook: Wexler, all in all a pretty good guy, despite his initially hawkish, credulous stance on Iraq, runs unopposed here.
Web site: Wexlerforcongress.com
(STAYS DEM)
District 20: Fort Lauderdale, Dania Beach, Wilton Manors, Weston, Plantation, Davie, Aventura and Sunny Isles
Incumbent: Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Outlook: Can’t say enough good things about Debbie. For a first-term congresswoman, she has performed brilliantly. No one made the GOP look as stupid during the Schiavo mess. Like Wexler, she can wear blinders when it comes to matters affecting the state if Israel. But other than that, she’s righteous. She’s for universal healthcare, bolstering education while losing No Child Left Behind, and returning to Clinton-era economic policies. Amen. Speaking of Amens, like Kendrick Meek, “The Wass” faces a Christian fundamentalist, anti-gay activist Margaret Hostetter. That’s right – an anti-gay activist is running to be the congresswoman for Wilton Manors. Only in the GOP. The Wass beat Hostetter in 2004, and she’ll beat the fundie soccer mom this time too.
Web sites: Dwsforcongress.com, MargaretHostetter.us
(STAYS DEM)
District 21: Hialeah, Olympia Heights, Glenvar Heights, Sunset, Kendall and Cutler
Incumbent: Lincoln Diaz-Balart, Republican
Outlook: This member of the politically powerful Diaz-Balart clan faces negligible opposition in 2006 in the form of Libertarian-turned-Democrat Frank Gonzalez. Gonzalez’s campaign is a few years ahead of its time. He supports loosening our trade sanctions and travel prohibitions with Cuba, a position that will work well in the coming years, as younger Cubans care more about visiting relatives than quashing Castro. Unfortunately for Gonzalez, the hardcore, rightwing Cuban base is getting older, but they’re far from dead.
Web sites: Politicalgateway.com/cand.php?id=186, Diaz-balart.house.gov
(STAYS GOP)
District 22: West Palm Beach, Palm Beach Gardens, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Coconut Creek, Oakland Park and Cooper City
Incumbent: Clay Shaw, Republican
Outlook: Perhaps the most interesting congressional race in Florida. Shaw won reelection in 2004 by a relatively slim margin, when compared to other House races in Florida. John Glassie gets a proud shot of tequila for stepping up and running as a Democrat, but State Senate Minority Leader Ron Klein will kill him in the primary. National Journal ranked Shaw the second-most politically vulnerable House incumbent in the country. Blame it on the changing face of his district – since he showed up in 1981, Oakland Park, for example, has gone from mostly redneck to mostly gay. Klein has already raised more cash than Shaw. It should be noted that I don’t really like Klein – he was largely ineffective as a minority leader, and his wishy-washy views have translated to his congressional campaign. That said, Shaw is a sleazebag who should have been kicked out of Congress a long time ago, and would have been if we had the sense to have moderate term limits in this country. Aren’t 10 terms in Congress enough? All in all, with Shaw’s vulnerable state and Klein raising money like gangbusters, I’m inclined to think Klein can pull this one off – especially given that Shaw’s campaign Web site is already going negative, slinging mud left and right without talking about the issues (note that Shaw’s campaign Web site doesn’t even have a link for an issues page. Just Endorsements, Awards, Press Releases, Events, etc.). Any campaign that goes negative this early and is afraid to say where it stands on the issues is probably screwed.
Web sites: Ronklein2006.com, JBGlassie.politicalgateway.com, Clayshaw.com
(SWITCHES TO DEM)
District 23: Belle Glade, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Pompano Beach, Tamarac, Sunrise and Lauderhill
Incumbent: Alcee Hastings, Democrat
Outlook: Alcee’s running unopposed. Nuff said.
Web site: Alceeforcongress.com
(STAYS DEM)
District 24: Port Orange, New Smyrna Beach, Edgewater, Titusville, Winter Springs and Winter Park
Incumbent: Tom Feeney, Republican
Outlook: Admittedly, this isn’t South Florida. But I included it anyway because it’s nearby, and it could be the nastiest House race in the entire country. Tom Feeney should win handily, no matter who wins the democratic primary. That primary will test whether old-school political machines or Internet grassroots wins the day. Andy Michaud is a long-time local Democrat with deep roots in the community. Clint Curtis is a hero to many liberals, especially those concerned with electoral fraud. In 2000, Curtis, a former Republican, maintains that he was approached by Feeney while he worked as a computer programmer. Feeney, in collusion with Jeb Bush, demanded a prototype program that could be used to rig election machines. Curtis has since taken out an affidavit and passed a lie-detector test to this effect. If he wins the primary against Michaud, the Feeney vs. Curtis election will be war. But in a strongly Republican district, look to Feeney to carry the day.
Web sites: Clintcurtis.com, AndyMichaud2006.com, Tomfeeney.com
(STAYS GOP)
District 25: Cutler Bay, Leisure City and Homestead
Incumbent: Mario Diaz-Balart, Republican
Outlook: This district is about as red as they come, and Democrat Michael Calderin’s campaign is reportedly woefully underfunded. Calderin’s campaign has been plagued by bad luck as well. An appearance by Senator John Kerry would have been perhaps Calderin’s biggest appearance by a big-name Democrat; Kerry’s ex-wife died two days before the scheduled April 29 appearance. With low funds and a seemingly cursed campaign, Calderin's chances are slim.
Web sites: Calderin2006.com, House.gov/mariodiaz-balart
(STAYS GOP)
May 3, 2006
Mexico to allow use of most drugs
For some time now, I have theorized that the perfect job would be a telecommuting gig in which one could live in Mexico but telecommute to the U.S., thus picking up a U.S. salary and spending money at Mexican prices. That idea is about to get a whole lot more interesting or frightening, depending on one's perspective. From my perspective, it's both.
From an L.A. Times story that ran in the Sun-Sentinel today, we learn that Mexican president Vicente Fox is about to sign a bill that would legalize possession of most drugs, including up to half a gram of cocaine, a spoonful of heroin, two hits of Ecstasy or LSD, five grams of opium and -- craziest of all -- up to two pounds of peyote.
Narcotourism ain't just for Amsterdam anymore. Presidente Fox, dope fiends everywhere salute you.
Arriba! Viva Fox! Viva El Zorro!
Christ sake, with the entrepreneurial American spirit hovering just to the north, just imagine the money to be made in the narcotourism industry. The Barbituate Bus leaves at dawn! Welcome aboard Chiba Charters, Inc. -- No joke, we've got coke!
The world is about to get a lot weirder, especially around the U.S.-Mexican border, a place that was already terribly, unremittingly strange. And while I don't addvocate the consumption of drugs that our government says are illegal -- whether they're legal in Mexico or not -- I am a HUGE advocate of terminal weirdness. The stranger the planet gets, the more I have to write about. And in that sense, this should be sweet.
Got them old gas pump blues
Stories from all over the country have come in, telling of fuel-fucked drivers selling their worldly possessions to afford some pump time. Whether it be in Wisconsin, Texas, New Mexico, Alabama, Oregon, or right here in Florida, folks are desperate enough to pawn their belongings for gas money.
Naturally, they had a good laugh over this at Sean Hannity's Internet forum. Among people like that, the woes of their fellow man are considered fine sport. In fact, many of them expressed disbelief in the possibility of people being so desperate in this, God's own America. For those people, I point you to the tiny sampling of such stories I included above.
But I'd like to stay on the hardline conservative way of thinking for a moment. Or should I say, "feeling." As Stephen Colbert lampooned at the White House Correspondent's Dinner, and several times on his show, you don't need to know the facts. You just need to do what feels right. So I don't need to know that Exxon Mobil reported a first-quarter profit of $8.4 billion a few days ago, or that the company now enjoys the highest profits of any corporation ever in the history of the world.
All I need to do is look at this guy:
Lee Raymond, ExxonMobil CEO, alleged price gouger
I mean, come on! The man makes Mr. Monopoly look like a street urchin.
Mr. Monopoly, now a distant second place for Best Personification of Corporate Greed
As far as the politicians are concerned, they'll continue to fall on the side of the people who give them cash. Prediction: Before they offer any substantial relief (and I'm not talking about trying to buy off voters at $100 a pop during an election year), new laws will be passed to provide harsher penalties for stealing gas.
I was happier when I didn't pay attention to news that didn't affect my own journalistic beat (i.e. loud music and late nights). But I like this anger. Righteous rage is so much different than your typical, workaday anger at the guy that just cut you off in traffic or the damn train that seems to show up whenever you want to cross the tracks. I finally know how that guy felt in Network. In fact, submitted for your approval, here's Howard Beale's entire monologue:
"I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth. Banks are going bust. Shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's no one anywhere that seems to know what to do with us. Now into it.
We know the air is unfit to breathe, our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had 15 homicides and 63 violent crimes as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad. Worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy so we don't go out anymore. We sit in a house as slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster, and TV, and my steel belted radials and I won't say anything." Well I'm not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad. I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crying in the streets. All I know is first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, "I'm a human being. God Dammit, my life has value."
So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out, and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" I want you to get up right now. Get up. Go to your windows, open your windows, and stick your head out, and yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Things have got to change my friends. You've got to get mad. You've got to say, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open your window, stick your head out and yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"
I'M AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
May 1, 2006
What a weekend!
Rush arrested, Keith falls, Colbert roasts, Rove to be indicted, and Young gets heard for free. Damn. I spend one little weekend at the bottom of an ocean of Bloody Marys, and all this happens! Wow. Well, let's get the local news out of the way first...
Up in Palm Beach, there was this:
Rush Limbaugh, allege... no, wait. Admitted and arrested pillhead
So Rush hired Roy Black, perhaps the greatest defense lawyer of our time, and as a result, he's not doing any -- time, that is. He'll pay $35,000, which he makes on air in about 10 seconds, and he has to avoid breaking the law for 30 months. Whatever. If the guy needs help, he should get help, but the whole thing always seemed inconsequential to me. I mean, rich Palm Beacher eats painkillers? Oh! Say it ain't so! Please. If Rush wants to gobble oxycontin like they're Tic-Tacs, I say let him. Who's he hurting, other than himself and, possibly, his listeners?
There is one important point, though, that needs to be said. Limbaugh was not charged with possession in any of its forms. He was charged with Concealing Information to Obtain a Prescription -- a form of fraud. That's right. Rush Limbaugh is a criminal liar. And if he'll lie about this, one can't help wonder -- what else would he lie about?
Meanwhile, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards fell out of a coconut tree in Fiji and was rushed to a hospital in New Zealand. Not to keep talking about the Stones -- I already dealt with Mick Jagger in a post a few days ago -- but this was just too good to pass up. Keith Richards -- the great survivor, the great god of rock 'n' roll hedonism, laid low by a fall from a freaking coconut tree. Why couldn't it have been Rush Limbaugh?
Keith -- awesome, man. Just awesome.
And in D.C., for those of you who are fans of The Colbert Report but aren't the sort of inveterate political junkies who tune in to CSPAN (like me), you can -- and should -- catch Colbert's roasting of President Bush at Youtube.com, starting here and in three parts, the other two being on the right-hand side of the page. Bush also did a good job poking fun at himself at the White House Correspondents Dinner, including use of an impersonator. But the Colbert roasting was the most ballsy destruction of a presidency at the dinner since Don Imus ripped into the Lewinsky scandal in front of the Clintons in 1997. Colbert's roast topped Imus' in that, despite the relentless pounding Bush took, Colbert kept it about policy, not peccadilloes. In fact, the hell with Bush's awww-aren't-I-a-cute-little-idiot spiel. Colbert may be the first time anyone has ever looked right in the face of this president and the press corps that does little to question him, and rubbed all of their noses in their own excrement. It was beautiful to watch. I try to catch the speeches at the dinner every year -- they're almost always pretty funny -- and this blew away everything I've seen. It left the entire room stunned -- not just because Colbert tore into Bush, who sat just two seats away, but because he reminded the entire press corps sitting in the room that, when the emperor had no clothes, they were the sycophantic courtiers who nodded and went along for the ride. And from that soiling, they will never be clean again.
Stephen Colbert speaks truthiness to power
Staying in Washington, it's obvious now to all but the most Bush-blinded loyalists that political advisor Karl Rove faces indictment in the Valerie Plame investigation. All one need do is read the reports by National Journal and Truthout.org, and the facts become painfully obvious. Rove will be indicted later this week. And in my opinion, he'll squeal like a pig before he sees a day in prison.
Karl Rove, alleged perjurer and justice obstructor ... and douchebag
Final word on politics before I move back into music -- read this. It's the last word on the Bush administration's willful disregard for the rule of law, which is the font from which all its troubles spring forth, like sewage-tainted water oozing from a rusted, corroded grate.
OK, back to music. Sort of. Neil Young's new album, Living With War, is streaming free at his Web site all this week. Go there. Listen. I've heard the whole album, and I can tell you this much: It's the best protest music to come from our own era, just barely nudging out Pink and Eminem.
Neil Young, from his new documentary, Heart of Gold
(Seriously, listen to that new album. It's sweet)