RUN!!! MYSPACE IS COMING TO RAPE YOUR CHILDREN!!!!!!
The recent rash of Myspace stories in the news is, to put it bluntly, fucking stupid. The Dateline story this weekend was particularly absurd, with Dateline correspondent Rob Stafford gravely intoning that kids put total strangers on "something called their 'friend list.' " Quick point: If you're going to talk to people about the dangers of talking to strangers online, it helps if you don't come off looking like a completely ignorant dolt. Throughout the rest of the report, Stafford and his cop cronies pointed to any sort of information shared online as evidence that the teen was in severe danger of being attacked. After one 15-year-old girl asked a detective posing as a 19 year old guy a couple of questions, she allowed him on her site.
"Once he was on," Stafford voice-overs in a grim tone. "He quite easily found a lengthy survey Amber had completed. In it was reams of personal information such as her favorite TV show, actor, the music she listens to, even her favorite hobby."
OMG! Now that this new "friend list" person knows that I'm totally into Leguna Beach and The Pussycat Dolls, I'm like completely pwn3d! WTF! I'm such a n00b! LOL! ROFL! ROFLMAO! ROFLMAOUISAPIMP!
In any case, the report was -- painfully, excruciatingly obviously -- yet another attempt to scare parents about an almost entirely harmless activity simply through fear of the unknown. Stafford, of course, failed to mention that this survey is very common on Myspace. Besides, these are the same tactics used against our parents when THEIR parents were warned about the dangers of dancing to rock 'n' roll. Having lived through that, you'd think they'd be smart enough not to fall for it, especially when the attempt is as obvious as this. But, I guess something goes haywire in your brain after you become a parent, because fall they do.
Of course, evidence of predators trolling Myspace and sites like it is purely anecdotal at this point. There's no hard numbers that prove that the place is awash with sickos. But don't let facts stand in the way of a good hysteria. The Dateline story has been followed up by CNN, MSNBC and, presumably, Fox News. I don't watch Fox, but this is precisely the sort of story they drool over at that station -- it appeals to a heavy emotional response while relying on few, if any, facts.
The media frenzy has even resulted in Myspace adding more personnel to investigate online predators, a real response to an imagined epidemic. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm no fan of pederasts. And the sickees seem to be everywhere these days. Just last week, the Deputy Press Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Brian Doyle, was arrested for soliciting what he thought was a 14-year-old girl. And let's not forget last year's fiasco around local weatherman Bill Kamal, who was moved into the system, as they say, for driving up to Fort Pierce to have carnal relations with a 14-year-old boy. The teen turned out to be, like Doyle's 14-year-old girl, a police officer. I could go on, of course. The list of pederasts making headlines over the last few years is long and painful. There's Nevada Republican state representative Richard Gardner, who admitted molesting his two daughters and still pulled in 34 percent of the vote in the 2002 election. There's anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt of Pensacola, who was arrested in 2003 after allegedly molesting teens at the home for unwed mothers he founded. Or how about the New Port Richey woman who, just last month, confronted her neighbor about his rape of her 7-year-old son? According to police, after the neighbor presented her with $600, she let him rape the boy again.
What do all of these have in common? They share the fact that, aside from Kamal, all of the molesters/rapists/monsters participated in the molestation of either their own children or those whom they had guardianship over. The point being, most of these things happen at the hands of someone the child knows. So, you want to save your child from being harmed? Apparently, you should throw him or her out of the house. Because it's just too dangerous to be around one's own family. Certainly, that makes about as much sense as kicking one's kids off of Myspace because the news says there could be "predators" out there. Christ. Hey, parents, if you're that worried about Myspace, instead of screaming hysterically and throwing the computer out the window, why not start your own Myspace profile and make your kids add you as a friend? This way, you can keep tabs on them, and they'll also probably leave Myspace of their own volition.
It is not a journalist's responsibility to garner ratings by scaring the shit out of parents. It is a journalist's responsibility to inform viewers/readers of what is actually going on in the world. Dancing to rock 'n' roll didn't cause teen pregnancy, and surfing Myspace doesn't either. Oh, and by the way, ROFLMAOUISAPIMP means Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off Until I Sharted, Accidentally Pooping In My Pants, you freakin' n00b.
Rob Stafford, alleged fearmonger