Throwing around superlatives is rarely a good idea, especially when talking about current events -- and even in that subcategory, moreso when it comes to politics. So Rolling Stone's cover story about our commander in chief was a bit off-putting -- even to a guy like me, who is far from a friend of this administration and its malignant Capo di Tutti Capi. The pronouncement is not a new one, though. Long-time White House journalist and columnist Helen Thomas declared Bush to be the worst president in American history way back in January of 2003, when she told Torrence, California's Daily Breeze, "This is the worst president ever. He is the worst president in all of American history." And seeing as Thomas has covered the White House since the days of Kennedy, she ought to know.

The story makes for good reading, though, for anyone unfamiliar with the complete and colossal failures of George W. Bush, from domestic policy to foreign policy to the scads of investigations targeting those close to him. All in all, a good refresher course for the well-informed, and a great primer for the political novice. As is typical these days, Rolling Stone's political and news coverage far exceeds its musical coverage, the supposed central theme of the magazine. Instead, the news coverage makes Time and Newsweek look like weak-willed milquetoasts that don't have the strength to really dig in to tough stories, while the magazine's musical coverage is so far behind trends that it's still convinced The Strokes are the saviors of rock 'n' roll. In any case, this story's worth checking out. In stores now.

The Latest Rolling Stone, featuring the alleged worst president in American history

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 1:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

the more freaking impressed I am. What a story. Picture it. There you are, heading back to the tour bus with your two lovely assistants between shows (for reasons that were never properly explained in the news stories), when you're beset upon by four thugs brandishing firearms and threatening gunplay. The two ladies hand over their valuables, but not you. You stare down the barrel of certain death, palm your own belongings, and reveal empty pockets to the would-be thieves. I don't care if you are a world-class magician who wouldn't screw up that trick in a million years. It takes cojones the size of that boulder that chased Indiana Jones to pull that off with a gun in your face.

Indiana Jones flees before David Copperfield's balls

I mean, think about it -- one screw up, one palm that's a little too sweaty from nervousness at facing a handgun and a crazed kid with his finger on the trigger, and that cell phone slips out of your grasp, onto the ground, and you try to mumble something like "OK, OK. Maybe I did have something in my pockets." But you'd only get out "OK, O--" before having your head split open, washing your assistants in blood and brains. Wow, man.

Dear David:

I used to make fun of you, and not just out of jealousy because you were hooking up with a supermodel. No, I honestly thought you were a tool. But I take back everything I ever said. John Wayne would be proud to do a shot with you, and so would I. You're a freaking badass.

David Copperfield, alleged badass

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've been working this out for a while now -- calculating, estimating. But my picks have stayed the same for a couple months now, so I don't see anything changing, except as the primaries get nearer and hopeless would-be politicians, their dreams dashed, drop out of the race. That said, here's my take on the 2006 Senate race. If you can update this in any way, please do let me know.

UPDATED: Brown dropped out in Rhode Island, leaving Whitehouse to run against Chafee

RETIRING
MARYLAND
Sarbanes (D - Maryland)
Election -- I see it between Dem. Rep. Ben Cardin (beating out scandal-plagued Kweisi Mfume in the primary) and Lt. Gov. Michael Steele.
Result -- Some pollsters have suggested that, after beating a black man in the primary, Cardin will lose the black vote to Steele in the general election. But I think black voters are smart enough not to vote on race alone. Say hello to Senator Cardin.
(STAYS DEM)

MINNESOTA
Dayton (D - Minnesota)
Election – After beating Patty Wetterling in the primary, Amy Klobuchar (who leads Wetterling 66 to 15 in one DFL poll) takes on Republican Rep. Mark Kennedy, who is the GOP chosen one for this field.
Result – Normally a Democratic stronghold, Minnesota feels shame and degradation after allowing Norm Coleman to win. This is a win for Dems, but it’s a close one. Except New Jersey, this is the closest race the Dems have, in terms of those seats they're trying to hold onto.
(STAYS DEM)

NEW JERSEY
Corzine (D - New Jersey)
Election -- Corzine beat Forrester in 2005's election to become governor of New Jersey, leaving his chosen successor, new Senator Robert Menendez, to run against state senator Tom Kean.
Result -- Tough call. The Democrats’ closest race, in terms of those races where they’re trying to hold onto their own seats. But look to Menendez to pull it off.
(STAYS DEM)

TENNESSEE
Frist (R - Tennessee)
Election -- The catkiller steps out to go for the Big Brass Ring (a.k.a. The White House), and (after a primary against ultra-conservative Van Hilleary and more-moderate Bob Corker) paleo-con Ed Bryant goes toe-to-toe with Harold Ford, Jr., a moderate Democrat.
Result -- The Fords are a household name in Tennessee. And this one will be the first black man elected to the Senate from the South since Reconstruction, notwithstanding his uncle’s recent troubles with the law.
(CHANGES TO DEM)

VERMONT
Jeffords (I - Vermont)
Election -- The Dems defer to Independent candidate Bernie Sanders. The GOP throws up Gregory Parke and cries like a little girl.
Result -- Vermont Loves Bernie. Nuff said.
(STAYS INDEPENDENT)

SHOULD BE RETIRING
HAWAII
Akaka (D - Hawaii)
Election -- Akaka (age at election: 82) vs. unknown
Result -- Akaka should step down, as Hawaii is slowly trending Republican and the Dems should get a young incumbent in while they can -- such as Ed Case, who is running in the primary against Akaka, but will lose. But at least Akaka is a shoe-in.
(STAYS DEM)

INDIANA
Lugar (R - Indiana)
Election -- Lugar (age at election: 74), unopposed.
Result –With a huge investment of time and money, Lugar might have been vulnerable. But the Democrats haven’t even found a candidate. So, Lugar’s got it made.
(STAYS GOP)

MASSACHUSETTS
Kennedy (D - Massachusetts)
Election -- Kennedy (age at election: 74) vs. some poor sap, probably Kenneth Chase (ever heard of him? Neither have I.)
Result -- Mitt Romney might run when Kennedy retires, if he doesn’t take a shot at the White House. For now, Kennedy’s untouchable.
(STAYS DEM)

WEST VIRGINIA
Byrd (D - W. Va.)
Election -- Byrd (age at election: 88) vs. John Raese (after a primary against fellow Monongalia Republican Hiram Lewis)
Result – While I generally feel that anyone who is going to hit age 90 in their next term should probably retire and start on the requisite memoir, Byrd is nevertheless a sacred cow in West Virginia.
(STAYS DEM)

ELECTIONS
ARIZONA
Kyl (R - Arizona)
Election -- Kyl vs. former Arizona party chair Jim Pederson
Result – Despite its reputation as a swing state and Kyl’s conservative voting record, he remains popular. Unless the Dems can re-brand him as an archconservative of the currently untrendy neo-con, corporo-fascist variety, he’s in.
(STAYS GOP)

CALIFORNIA
Feinstein (D - California)
Election -- Feinstein vs. Richard Mountjoy.
Result – Given California’s strong Democratic streak, Mountjoy is just token resistance -- especially after Jim Gilchrist, founder of the Minuteman Project, steals away the racist vote. Feinstein is the HUGE favorite.
(STAYS DEM)

CONNECTICUT
Lieberman (D - Connecticut)
Election -- Lieberman vs. probably Alan Schlesinger, after a primary against Herschal Collins.
Result – Despite being extremely unpopular among the left, Lieberman remains popular in his home state – enough so that the GOP will have problems without a strong candidate. And with the implosion of the Connecticut GOP following the removal of Conn.’s governor, they don’t have one. Ned Lamont's Democratic primary against Lieberman is interseting to antiwar advocates, but ultimately futile.
(STAYS DEM)

DELAWARE
Carper (D - Delaware)
Election -- Carper vs. Colin Bonini.
Result – After Republican rep. Mike Castle announced he wouldn’t run, this seat was all but guaranteed for Carper.
(STAYS DEM)

FLORIDA
Nelson (D - Florida)
Election -- Nelson vs. Katherine Harris
Result – Much of the state – not just in the left, but also among independents and moderates -- sees Harris as nothing but a thoughtless GOP apparatchik who fixed the 2000 election. Nelson wins.
(STAYS DEM)

MAINE
Snowe (R - Maine)
Election -- Snowe vs. Eric Mehnert, after a primary against super-liberal candidate Jean Hay Bright.
Result -- It's the old moderate story. If she wins the primary, she's in. As for retirement rumors, don’t count on it.
(STAYS GOP)

MICHIGAN
Stabenow (D - Michigan)
Election -- Stabenow vs. (after a nasty, drawn-out primary against Mi9ke Bouchard) Keith Butler, whom the GOP hopes will siphon off black votes.
Result – As in Nebraska, the top-tier candidates (in this case, folks like representatives Candice Miller and Joe Rogers) have ruled-out a run against Stabenow. That means that, despite an extremely tight 2000 election, she’s in much better shape this time around.
(STAYS DEM)

MISSISSIPPI
Lott (R - Mississippi)
Election -- Trent Lott vs. Erik Fleming
Result -- ha ha ha ha! Why are Dems even hoping? It's Lott by a mile.
(STAYS GOP)

MISSOURI
Talent (R - Missouri)
Election -- Talent vs. state auditor Claire McCaskill
Results – VERY tight race, but Talent will pull it off in the end. This has the potential to be the tightest race of the year, though, so it’s really anybody’s game.
(STAYS GOP)

MONTANA
Burns (R - Montana)
Election -- Burns vs. (after a long primary against state auditor John Morrison) state Senate president Jon Tester
Result -- The Dems took over both state houses and the governorship in the last couple of years. 73-year-old Burns is a fossil, and by election time, he’ll be drowning in the Jack Abramoff scandal. Tester is young, with plenty of ideas. He wins.
(CHANGES TO DEM)

NEBRASKA
Nelson (D - Nebraska)
Election -- Nelson vs. (after a primary against former state party chair David Kramer and former Attorney General Don Stenberg) former Ameritrade COO Pete Ricketts.
Result – Ricketts is, at best, a third-string candidate. Governor Mike Johanns was named Agriculture Secretary, and former football coach and current congressman Tom Osbourne backed out – foolishly, as he probably could have won. As it stands, this seat is Nelson’s to lose.
(STAYS DEM)

NEVADA
Ensign (R – Nevada)
Election – Ensign vs. Jimmy Carter’s son, Jack
Result – Name recognition means something, but Jimmy Carter is ancient history, and the name recognition no longer means as much. Especially out here in the western desert.
(STAYS GOP)

NEW MEXICO
Bingaman (D - New Mexico)
Election -- Bingaman vs. David Pfeffer.
Result – Republican Rep. Heather Wilson would have made this competitive, but the Democrats were smart enough to offer a serious challenge to her House seat, making a Senate run extremely risky for her. The second-string candidate, Pfeffer, is a former Democrat who supports Social Security privatization and the Iraq War. He’s screwed.
(STAYS DEM)

NEW YORK
Clinton (D - New York)
Election -- Clinton vs. probably former Yonkers mayor John Spencer, but who cares?
Result -- Only in their wet dreams does the GOP beat Hillary
(STAYS DEM)

NORTH DAKOTA
Conrad (D - North Dakota)
Election -- Conrad vs. farmer Dwight Grotberg, who allegedly has a nonexistent campaign war chest.
Result -- Conrad has played it safe, playing moderate as best he can. He'll get payback for that by winning re-election. Unlike Lieberman, there's very little liberal base in North Dakota to try running a lib candidate against him. And besides, even if that candidate won, it would just mean a beating from the GOP. In this case, moderation pays. That, and the fact that top-tier GOP candidate John Hoeven has said he won’t run.
(STAYS DEM)

OHIO
DeWine (R - Ohio)
Election -- DeWine vs. Sherrod Brown
Result – DeWine ranks dead last out of the 100 Senators in popularity in home state in one poll. His approval is below 40 percent. The Ohio GOP is in disarray after the scandals of Governor Taft and the near-defeat of Rep. Schmidt by Iraq War veteran Paul Hackett, plus the crushing defeat of DeWine’s son and the upcoming Abramoff-related scandal of Bob Ney. Brown is a household name in Ohio, and should beat DeWine handily. It would probably have been better for Dems if Hackett had gone against DeWine and Brown had waited until 2010 to take on Voinovich, but what the hell.
(CHANGES TO DEM)

PENNSYLVANIA
Santorum (R - Pennsylvania)
Election -- Santorum vs. state treasurer Bob Casey
Result -- In a moderate, mostly blue state like Pennsylvania, Santorum should've kept his religio-whacko views out of the headlines. Casey is a pro-life Democrat, very middle of the road. It’s exactly what the Dems needed – a sane man to highlight Santorum’s insanity.
(CHANGES TO DEM)

RHODE ISLAND
Chafee (R - Rhode Island)
Election -- Chafee vs. (after a primary against Secretary of State Matt Brown [UPDATE: Brown dropped out of race, 4/26/05]) state Attorney General Sheldon Whitehouse.
Result -- With a name like Whitehouse, he’s just gotta win. Chafee has drawn Republican ire for straying from the true faith, even raising the possibility of switching parties in 2004. With the GOP abandoning him, and with Rhode Island’s heavily Democratic population, the popular Whitehouse goes in for the upset. There’s even the outside chance that conservative Cranston Mayor Steve Laffey will beat Chafee in the primaries. If that happens, this turns into a slaughterhouse as moderates flee the GOP.
(CHANGES TO DEM)

TEXAS
Hutchinson (R - Texas)
Election -- Hutchison vs. Houston attorney Barbara Radnofsky
Result -- Dude, it's Texas.
(STAYS GOP)

UTAH
Hatch (R - Utah)
Election -- Hatch vs. Pete Ashdown
Result -- Popular Democratic Rep. Jim Matheson has refused to go against Hatch, leaving Ashdown to be crushed. Look for Matheson to try a run after Hatch retires, but for now, Hatch wins.
(STAYS GOP)

VIRGINIA
Allen (R - Virginia)
Election -- Allen vs. James Webb.
Result – The Dems could take this one, if only Governor Mark Warner would throw his hat in the ring. Instead, he seems to have his eye on a bid for the White House. It’s a shame, because he might have been the one to give the Dems a majority in the Senate. Webb will be a tough campaigner, but in a very tight race, the advantage goes to the incumbent.
(STAYS GOP)

WASHINGTON
Cantwell (D - Washington)
Election -- Cantwell vs. Safeco CEO Mike McGavick
Result – Despite her close win in 2000, polls show Cantwell leading McGavick by double digits. Nuff said.
(STAYS DEM)

WISCONSIN
Kohl (D - Wisconsin)
Election -- Kohl vs. unknown. Possibly Robert Lorge.
Result – Early speculation postulated that Sec. Tommy Thompson might make a run, but that ain’t happening. Nor have other potential candidates, such as Rep. Paul Ryan, stepped forward. Looks like Kohl will coast, simply through lack of real competition.
(STAYS DEM)

WYOMING
Thomas (R - Wyoming)
Election -- Thomas vs. college professor Dale Groutage.
Election -- To paraphrase my Texas thing -- Dude, it's Wyoming.
(STAYS GOP)

Final: The Dems pick up 5 seats, making the Senate 50 GOP, 49 Dems, and 1 Independent.
Which means another GOP majority. The Independent – Sanders – caucuses with the Dems, and Vice President Cheney breaks the tie, giving it to the GOP.
If McCaskill would win in Missouri, or if Webb would win in Virginia, the Dems could even pull a majority, assuming everything I have here turns our to be correct. And we all know it is. Just look how good my last prediction turned out. (Press Secretary Karen Hughes? What was I thinking?)

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 5:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

So it looks as if Fox News political analyst Tony Snow will be taking over for White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, ruining both my prediction that Karen Hughes would take over the job and my secret dream that it would go to Ann Coulter, both of which I discussed here. But while I hate to be wrong, I don't see a problem with this pick for the position. Tony Snowjob (as he will soon come to be known throughout the blogosphere, if not the world) should fit right in at the White House. Not only was he a speechwriter for Bush's dad, he also has a long, proud history of complete fabrications, even in his capacity as a broadcast journalist. Many of them have been documented here, courtesy of progressive media watchdog Media Matters. Snow subsequently tried to refute the Media Matters statement, and was spanked by the organization, here. But those documents don't even get into my favorite Snowjob...

That would have to be just a week ago, when Tony Snow was on stalwart bloviator Bill O'Reilly's O'Reilly Factor. From the transcript:

O’REILLY: Prices have doubled in the USA and continue to go up. What say you sir?

SNOW: Well, this is where you get to call me a pinhead again, Bill. You’re absolutely right, supplies are high. But a couple of different things going on.

Different types of oil that are in supply. Oil refining costs have gone up a little bit. But let’s be real about this: 60 percent of the price of a gallon of gasoline right now is crude oil prices. Crude oil over $70 a gallon right now. That gets written into the price. Why is that per gallon crude oil price so high? Because people are jittery.

You’ve got a guy in Iran saying we’re going to build a nuclear weapon. You’ve got people complaining about Donald Rumsfeld and the Pentagon. There are jitters about the stability of the Middle East. Those subside and a number of people say this, analysts in the industry, the price goes down again. [Italics added for emphasis]

Did you see that? People complaining about Donald Rumsfeld are apparently responsible for high gas prices. Yeah, Snowjob will fit right in at the White House, where lies are truth, dissent is treason, war is peace, ignorance is strength and 1984 is just another number.

Tony Snowjob, Douchebag of Liberty
(thanks to The Daily Show's Jon Stewart for the phraseology)

Assuming Snow does accept the position, I'll keep tabs on him in this space whenever I can stomach a press conference, which will probably be often -- I have a deep and abiding love of sleaze.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 10:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I have two dear loves when it comes to journalistic writing -- politics and loud music. In one of the rare moments outside of protest songs, these two loves converged today as I read the British tabloid The Sun's account of Mick Jagger booking a sweet suite in Austria, and then refusing to give it up when the Secret Service came calling.

"Bush’s people seemed to be under the impression that they would just hand over the suites," said an unnamed friend of Mick's. "But there was no way Mick was going to do that."

Ho ho! No way indeed. Why would Mick give this up for anyone:

Royal Suite of the Imperial Hotel in Vienna, Austria
(this is the closest either you or I will ever get to it)

The hotel room in question is one of the finest in the world, a feather in the cap for the jetset crowd that travels in these circles. But even in those crowds, it takes a special sort of chutzpah to tell the self-styled leader of the free world to go take a dump in someone else's rented pisser. The Stones have been officially in the anti-Bush camp since last year's album, A Bigger Bang, which included the anti-Bush administration "Sweet Neocon."

For a bunch of guys my dad's age (and, for God's sake, that is freaking old), Mick and the boys can rock 'n' roll. And in their prime, there was no one better. Of the major bands of the Stones' heyday, The Beatles crafted a better pop tune, as did a few others. But no one wallowed in the danger and drama of rock 'n' roll excess quite like the Rolling Stones -- at least, no one who's alive to brag about it today. Despite the protestations of U2, the Stones are the Biggest Band in the World. And despite being older than your dad and mine, they're also far cooler than you will ever be.

Mick Jagger, alleged badass

George Bush was no doubt unhappy with being denied a room, but hey, Mick got their first. Besides, I'm sure Bush will get over the emotional pain of being denied a stay at the Royal Suite of Vienna's Imperial Hotel. Although, his dad stayed there once. As has every other president since Reagan, I believe. Ah well, George has bigger fish to fry. Right, George?

George Bush, allegedly snubbed and bitter

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 6:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Great jabbering Christ in a Cornfield, where does it end? Not Scotty. Say it ain't so! The White House press secretary supplied some of the greatest moments of political levity in recent days. His chutzpah was breathtaking. And now, he's announced his resignation. I imagine having to repeat the line, "I can't comment on an ongoing investigation" so many times in one sitting finally got to him. And the way he would blame the media reporting on Bush's terrible policies for their disastrous effects, instead of blaming the policies themselves? Brilliant! It's not the administration's failure to plan for a post-war Iraq that's the problem! It's all this damn media reporting all this bad news! And leakers? well, leakers are bad when they report things we don't want leaked! Man, oh, man... who is going to have the cojones to replace Scotty?

Hold on there, buddy!

But you can't blame Scott. He knows a sinking ship when he sees one. The only person smarter is Bush's oringinal press secretary, Ari Fleischer, who could smell this stinker in Iraq a mile away and bailed before he had to endure day after day of flopsweat and failure, the way McClellan has for the past year at least. So, life is better now for Scotty. Give us a big smile, my man!

Jesus! Never mind. You look like a fucking demon when you smile.

But the big question now is, who will replace McClellan? It'll probably be some apparatchik that we've never heard of, but if I had to bet on a known quantity, I'd wager on Karen Hughes. Even Tucker Carlson, a far-right commentator in his own right, once said of her, "I've obviously been lied to a lot by campaign operatives, but the striking thing about the way she lied was she knew I knew she was lying, and she did it anyway. There is no word in English that captures that. It almost crosses over from bravado into mental illness." Carlson calls it mental illness, I call it eminently qualified to be Bush's press secretary.

Karen Hughes, alleged replacement for Scott McClellan

But why stop at Hughes? Sure she's a Bush loyalist who is more than qualified for the job, but why not go all out? Why not hire someone who will put these uppity reporters back in their place, back to the halcion days of 2002, when they all acted as White House stenographers?

Ann Coulter, because press secretaries should be batshit-insane

Yeah, that's the ticket! Ann Freaking Coulter, White House Press Secretary! Hot damn, CSPAN ratings would quintuple overnight! The verbal warfare would reach heights unknown in journalism history. Hell, I'd quit my job and get a gig freelancing at the White House press room, just to be in the same room as the frenzy. There'd be nowhere else in the world more collossally weird than the White House press room. She and the press corps would go after each other like gangbusters.

In any case, I don't think this McClellan thing -- or Andy Card's recent resignation -- bespeaks of any larger hammers to fall, though I could certainly be mistaken. I imagine Rumsfeld will stay right where he is, as will Cheney and the rest -- at least through the 2006 election. To get rid of the big players now would only be a sign of weakness, something neither the Bush White House nor the GOP in general can afford.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 1:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

You know, if the Bush administration is all about spreading freedom and democracy, how come so damn many of them have links to the most dictatorial governments in the world? Take the newly minted Budget Director, Rob Portman. In his former job as U.S. trade representative, one of his most notable accomplishments was inking a free-trade agreement with Oman, a country ruled by a hereditary monarch and not exactly known for its enlightened worldview. Of course, Portman's success in the deal shouldn't have come as any surprise. Before getting elected to Congress in 1992, the man was a lobbyist for -- that's right -- Oman.

Oh, and before that, he worked for a law firm that lobbied for infamous Baby Doc Duvalier, the charmingly psychotic dictator of Haiti from 1971 to 1986. Nice.

Rob Portman, alleged Tonton Macoute

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The 2008 election is scheduled for Nov. 4, and if you still aren't sure who you'd vote for, this Web site can help you:

At that site, you answer a few questions, rate how important each question is to you, and then you see who among the candidate's would best have your back.
The results were a little surprising for me, but not too shocking:
(100%) 1: Sen. Russ Feingold (D)
(91%) 2: Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D)
(86%) 3: Sen. John Kerry (D)
(85%) 4: Ex-Gen. Wesley Clark (D)
(84%) 5: Sen. Joseph Biden (D)
(80%) 6: Ex-VP Al Gore (D)
(79%) 7: Ex-Sen. John Edwards (D)
(78%) 8: Sen. Christopher Dodd (D)
(76%) 9: Gov. Tom Vilsack (D)
(71%) 10: Sen. Hillary Clinton (D)
(65%) 11: Gov. Bill Richardson (D)
(61%) 12: Ex-Gov. Mark Warner (D)
(59%) 13: Sen. Evan Bayh (D)
(51%) 14: Gov. Mike Huckabee (R)
(45%) 15: Gov. Mitt Romney (R)
(45%) 16: Ex-Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R)
(41%) 17: Sec. Condoleezza Rice (R)
(33%) 18: Gov. George Pataki (R)
(31%) 19: Ex-Rep. Newt Gingrich (R)
(30%) 20: Sen. John McCain (R)
(28%) 21: Sen. Majority Leader Bill Frist (R)
(23%) 22: Rep. Tom Tancredo (R)
(21%) 23: Sen. George Allen (R)
(20%) 24: Sen. Chuck Hagel (R)
(9%) 25: Sen. Sam Brownback (R)

The not surprising part: Every Democrat is at the top of the list, followed by every Republican -- and they say there's no difference between the two parties. Another part that hardly has me raising an eyebrow is that batshit-insane Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas has only 9 percent in common with me, politically speaking. Aside from agreeing that genocide in Darfur needs to stop, I can't think of a single instance in which Brownback and I would stand side-by-side. The man is for intelligent design and the flat tax, and once compared abortion to The Holocaust, for Chrissake. Most damning of all, he claims the Constitution offers no right to privacy. And while that specific word doesn't appear in the Constitution, anyone who says you don't have a right to privacy hasn't read the Fourth Amendment. Or more likely, they have read it, but would much prefer to trample all over it.

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

Pretty much says it all, no? The government can't look at my private stuff. Period. Sheesh, is it any wonder that Brownback's name is so close to brownshirt? I move that everyone call his supporters brownshirts from now on.

Sam Brownshirt, alleged lunatic

What was surprising was the fact that the publically held views of Sen. Russ Feingold, who has recently made a name for himself by calling for the censure of the president, agree with mine apparently 100 percent of the time. Up until now, I had fancied myself something of a Clark supporter, or maybe Joe Biden or Mark Warner. I may be forced to amend that. I hadn't made up my mind of course -- you'd have to be a fool to do that so far out -- but this was fairly enlightening, all in all. Of course, it's all moot after the primary anyway -- we all know which way I'm casting my vote after that, unless John Lennon comes back from the dead and runs third party. We'd have to change the Constitution for the Brit to run, which means Arnold Schwarzenegger would probably throw his hat in the ring too, but Johnny Boy could whip them all. Besides, the death of John Lennon is my first real memory, other than recalling that the house we lived in until I was 3 years old had blue shag carpet. How could I not vote for the guy?

John Lennon, alleged 2008 presidential candidate

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 4:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Like every other self-absorbed writer with commentaries available on the Internet, I do a lot of self-googling. Friday, before I left for a weekend retreat at the fabulous Hyatt Resort in Bonita Springs, this blog was on page four of a Google search.

Today, if you type in Doomed Generation and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, guess where you wind up? That's right -- right here. I don't know what happened over the weekend to move me up from No. 80-something to No. 1 with a bullet, but whatever it is, I'll take two.

Top of the World!!

For most blogs, that's not too hard to do. How many hits not related to your own blog are you going to get if you create some new, bizarre word as a title, like Shinetime, for example? But since my blog combines two relatively common words, which result in more than 6 million hits, I'll take this as a victory.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 2:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I speak of course, of Texas' Alcoholic Beverage Commission sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drunks. This is true. They called it Operation Last Call. Agents went undercover into bars, located people who looked drunk, and arrested them for public intoxication. I hope readers of this space will understand the rampant stupidity and jack-booted-fascist mentality of this program, so I won't have to spout off much of an opinion.

After a massive blowback against this operation, Commission spokeswoman Carolyn Beck announced the "temporary" suspension of the program, saying, "We understand that everything has room for improvement, this included." She said that most of those arrested were "dangerously drunk" and "might have tried to drive if TABC agents hadn't busted them."

Excuse me, "might" have tried to drive? If we could be arrested for what we "might" do, wouldn't every damn one of us be in jail by now?

Morons. Is it any wonder why the rest of the country refers to Texas as "Our most irritating state?"

Jack Daniels -- g'head and drink it.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 3:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Today is Good Friday, the day Jesus got nailed for our sins. Here in America, most believers celebrate with a trip to church. Out in the Philippines, though they actually nail themselves to crosses. Now that's dedication. I'd like to see Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson nail himself to a cross for Jesus. Hell, I'd pay good money to see that. I'd even send a check to the 700 Club if Pat would crucify for Christ. And who knows? I might even start taking people like him seriously. But probably not. Two days after being killed for saying that it would be a good idea if everyone got along, Jesus either rose from the dead or was the victim of a grave robbery, depending on your historical perspective. Me, I stay out of those fights. I'll argue politics all day long, but religion is where people get really nasty. Just look at what's happening in the Middle East -- a whole multitude of Muslims ready to bomb themselves and everyone near them for Allah, and a whole multitude of American soldiers wondering how they wound up in this mess.

When you hand somebody the prospect of ultimate truth and eternal life upon death in this world, and they believe you, it's not unreasonable to assume that, sooner or later, they'll be willing to die for you. It has its own twisted logic. And that's why I stay away from the subject -- it's just a bit too crazy for me. But politics? Now, that I can understand. People lie, cheat, steal and Lord knows what else in the name of whatever political cause they espouse. But they wouldn't die for it... or would they?

On second thought, I've got to take that back. For a group in Miami, dying for the cause seems a very real thing -- or at the very least, putting themselves at severe health risk. The janitors at the University of Miami are now in day ten (10) of a hunger strike. Three have been removed from the campus and taken to hospital. Seven students have now announced their intentions to join the hunger-striking workers, who are demanding that UM president Donna Shalala intervene.

Donna Shalala, alleged Thatcherite

Shalala, for her part, has refused to meet with worker representatives, or lift a finger to mitigate between the workers and their bosses. A veteran of the Peace Corps, Shalala was known for her liberal policies as Secretary of Health and Human Services under President Clinton from 1993 to 2001. But her most recent actions remind me more of ultraconservative British prime minister Maggie Thatcher, who sat by and let convicted IRA members starve to death in jail. Instead of people brushing aside those IRA men as terrorists, one of them, Bobby Sands, was elected to Parliament while in prison before finally succumbing to malnutrition. In certain circles in Ireland, the man is a hero and a martyr to this day. If IRA members can be canonized through a hunger strike, just imagine what happens to a blue-collar worker?

A mural of Bobby Sands, alleged martyr

Margaret Thatcher, alleged crone, weeping over the casket of St. Ronald Reagan

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The latest bit of hysteria passing for news comes from CNN.com. A video clip from that site goes into detail about a still-legal psychoactive herb called Salvia Divinorum in a piece entited "Legal but Lethal?" The plant, the leaves of which are chewed by certain Native American tribes and commonly dried and smoked by most other enthusiasts, is referred to in the story as a "powerful hallucinogenic." Having tried Salvia Divinorum a few years back, I think this characterization is an embarrassment to powerful hallucinogenics.

Anderson Cooper writes on his 360 blog that, "The herb is sold on the internet and in many smoke shops. It is smoked or chewed and can make people feel they are in another place and time. It is not yet used by a lot of youth in this country, but its use is increasing, which brings us to the tragedy that recently unfolded.
Brett Chidester, a 17-year-old Delaware high school senior, committed suicide this past January. His parents knew he had experimented with salvia and asked him to stop. He said it was legal, but he would discontinue using it. But his parents now believe his depression was worsened by the salvia, and they believe it contributed to his death."

While I sympathize with the Chidester family, this sort of hysterical reporting is seriously reminiscent of that epic 1936 film Reefer Madness. That film portrayed marijuana as causing permanent insanity and psychopathic tendencies, ideas that are laughed at today. And so should we all have a hearty chuckle at Cooper's terrorizing America with something that neither he nor most of his audience claims to understand.

As mentioned before, I've tried Salvia. It does, well, pretty much nothing. Places like the Salvia Divinorum Research and Information Center (yes, there really is such a place. The Internet's got everything) recommend 1/4-1/2 a gram for a single dose. As usual, I threw out such recommendations and smoked several grams of the stuff. The result? A slightly heady feeling, coupled, briefly, with the odd sensation of being pulled in a specific direction. Nothing more. The idea that this is some extremely potent hallucinogenic is laughable to anyone who has ever had half a hit of acid.

Nevertheless, programs like Cooper's will probably get the herb illegalized. And why not? The last thing we need is any sort of herb competing in the tobacco market. A friend of mine in the broadcast field used to refer to online video clips like the one screaming about Salvia as "news turdlets." I have a better understanding of his reasoning now.

(Note for Tribune Co.'s zero-tolerance drug police, er, policy: Salvia Divinorum is a legal herb, which I ingested several years before coming to work at this company. Thank you)

Salvia Divinorum, alleged "killer weed"

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Money Magazine released its list of the Top 50 jobs in the country today. I've always assumed that, somewhere out there, in other fields, there were people who brought their pets to work, got paid scads of cash, received daily massages at the onsite company spa, and so on. But no. Among the Top 50, "editor" came in at 19, and "writer" came in at 25. Given that my job combines aspects of both, it's a safe bet that my position is around the 22nd best job in America. At first blush, you would think this is a good thing. But I am young yet, at the beginning of my career, and so I must wonder -- is this as good as it gets?

Hell, a lot of obviously great jobs didn't make the Top 50. Where are the racecar drivers? The heiresses? The fashion designers? The models, for that matter? Not to mention congressman, rock star, lottery winner and Jessica Simpson.

But back to my own writer/editor position. It seems I'm screwed coming and going. Because not only is this as good as it gets, I'm obviously not getting paid a decent wage either. The average pay, including bonuses (Bonuses? Editors get bonuses?! Why was I not informed of this?) comes to $78,242. For writers, it's $60,519. If I average these, as I did the ranking, that comes to $69,380 and change. Now, I'm not going to tell you all just how much I make in a year, but I can tell you it's considerably less than 70 Large. What's up with that? Is my Faulknerian prose not worthy of $70,000/year? I'm asking my boss for a raise -- a big one. Although, given that this blog is published through my company, it was probably stupid of me to say that here. That's probably why I'm not making the big bucks.

Anyway, here's a link to the Top 50 list: Top 50

Note the Top 10: Software Engineer lands at No. 1, with Psychologist and Pharmacist filling out the Top 10. But what really interests me is No. 2, College Professor. See, I think I could do that. I could be a college professor. I have no chance of competently performing any of the other jobs in the top 10, but I could be No. 2. So, maybe I do still have something to hope for. If I just go back to school and get more pieces of paper that say I learned stuff, then maybe I can someday be No. 2. And we can't really hope for more in life than finishing in second place. Even that would be an accomplishment. ... right?

P.S. I just looked over the list again and realized that, in fact, it's not true that I couldn't do any job in the Top 10 other than college professor. I could also do No. 4, Human Resources Manager. But I wouldn't do it long before I would have to pay a visit to No. 10, Psychologist. Who would send me to No. 33, Mental Health Counselor. They would ship me off to No. 9, Pharmacist. And I would eventually wind up in a padded room, with No. 47, Registered Nurse, coming in to change my bed pan everyday.

Dilbert, Software Engineer -- alleged No. 1 Job in the country.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 11:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The recent rash of Myspace stories in the news is, to put it bluntly, fucking stupid. The Dateline story this weekend was particularly absurd, with Dateline correspondent Rob Stafford gravely intoning that kids put total strangers on "something called their 'friend list.' " Quick point: If you're going to talk to people about the dangers of talking to strangers online, it helps if you don't come off looking like a completely ignorant dolt. Throughout the rest of the report, Stafford and his cop cronies pointed to any sort of information shared online as evidence that the teen was in severe danger of being attacked. After one 15-year-old girl asked a detective posing as a 19 year old guy a couple of questions, she allowed him on her site.
"Once he was on," Stafford voice-overs in a grim tone. "He quite easily found a lengthy survey Amber had completed. In it was reams of personal information such as her favorite TV show, actor, the music she listens to, even her favorite hobby."

OMG! Now that this new "friend list" person knows that I'm totally into Leguna Beach and The Pussycat Dolls, I'm like completely pwn3d! WTF! I'm such a n00b! LOL! ROFL! ROFLMAO! ROFLMAOUISAPIMP!

In any case, the report was -- painfully, excruciatingly obviously -- yet another attempt to scare parents about an almost entirely harmless activity simply through fear of the unknown. Stafford, of course, failed to mention that this survey is very common on Myspace. Besides, these are the same tactics used against our parents when THEIR parents were warned about the dangers of dancing to rock 'n' roll. Having lived through that, you'd think they'd be smart enough not to fall for it, especially when the attempt is as obvious as this. But, I guess something goes haywire in your brain after you become a parent, because fall they do.

Of course, evidence of predators trolling Myspace and sites like it is purely anecdotal at this point. There's no hard numbers that prove that the place is awash with sickos. But don't let facts stand in the way of a good hysteria. The Dateline story has been followed up by CNN, MSNBC and, presumably, Fox News. I don't watch Fox, but this is precisely the sort of story they drool over at that station -- it appeals to a heavy emotional response while relying on few, if any, facts.

The media frenzy has even resulted in Myspace adding more personnel to investigate online predators, a real response to an imagined epidemic. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm no fan of pederasts. And the sickees seem to be everywhere these days. Just last week, the Deputy Press Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Brian Doyle, was arrested for soliciting what he thought was a 14-year-old girl. And let's not forget last year's fiasco around local weatherman Bill Kamal, who was moved into the system, as they say, for driving up to Fort Pierce to have carnal relations with a 14-year-old boy. The teen turned out to be, like Doyle's 14-year-old girl, a police officer. I could go on, of course. The list of pederasts making headlines over the last few years is long and painful. There's Nevada Republican state representative Richard Gardner, who admitted molesting his two daughters and still pulled in 34 percent of the vote in the 2002 election. There's anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt of Pensacola, who was arrested in 2003 after allegedly molesting teens at the home for unwed mothers he founded. Or how about the New Port Richey woman who, just last month, confronted her neighbor about his rape of her 7-year-old son? According to police, after the neighbor presented her with $600, she let him rape the boy again.

What do all of these have in common? They share the fact that, aside from Kamal, all of the molesters/rapists/monsters participated in the molestation of either their own children or those whom they had guardianship over. The point being, most of these things happen at the hands of someone the child knows. So, you want to save your child from being harmed? Apparently, you should throw him or her out of the house. Because it's just too dangerous to be around one's own family. Certainly, that makes about as much sense as kicking one's kids off of Myspace because the news says there could be "predators" out there. Christ. Hey, parents, if you're that worried about Myspace, instead of screaming hysterically and throwing the computer out the window, why not start your own Myspace profile and make your kids add you as a friend? This way, you can keep tabs on them, and they'll also probably leave Myspace of their own volition.

It is not a journalist's responsibility to garner ratings by scaring the shit out of parents. It is a journalist's responsibility to inform viewers/readers of what is actually going on in the world. Dancing to rock 'n' roll didn't cause teen pregnancy, and surfing Myspace doesn't either. Oh, and by the way, ROFLMAOUISAPIMP means Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off Until I Sharted, Accidentally Pooping In My Pants, you freakin' n00b.

Rob Stafford, alleged fearmonger

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Back on my old Myspace blog, I predicted a Cheney resignation in a blog entry dated February 10. I figure I should restate that here, especially in light of current evidence that Cheney is the Bush administration's Judas goat in the whole Plame/Libby affair. Back in February, the National Journal reported that Scooter Libby, Cheney's former chief of staff who now faces indictments and is squealing like a pig in heat, testified that Cheney told him to release classified documents.

The big news of the last few days in this area has been that Libby testified that Cheney told him that Bush had given the order. Of course, this doesn't tie Bush directly to it. He'll disavow any knowledge, and Cheney will take the fall. I predicted back in February that Cheney would retire after the November elections in 2006, but before the new Congress takes its seats, and I want to reiterate that prediction on my new blog. That way, when it happens, I can get all smug and say "I told you so," the way I did when we didn't find any WMDs in Iraq.

No doubt Cheney will resign for "health reasons" or "to spend time with his family" or "for the good of the nation," but we all know that's a load of horse manure. Cheney will resign because somebody's got to be the nail that takes this hammer. Libby is cooperating to make sure it isn't him, and the president sure as shit won't let them pin this on him.

There's all sorts of rumors that Press Secretary Scott McClellan, Political Advisor Karl Rove or some other loyal soldier will take a metaphorical bullet in the next few weeks, the way Andy Card did. But none of them will solve the Plame problem. Cheney's a dead man walking, even if he doesn't know it yet. His approval ratings continue to hover in the low 20s, up from an unbelievable low of 18 percent a few months back, which made him one of the least-liked major politicians in American history -- Nixon had higher numbers than that when he resigned.

The big question remains -- Who would replace Cheney? The Bush administration is like the Titanic after a jaunt through the North Sea. Only a complete dupe would sign on now. Likely, the new VP would be a promotion from within, much like Josh Bolten taking over for Card. I'm tempted to think it will be our current Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice. Quite simply, she may be the only option. All the big-time Republicans outside this administration don't want anything to do with it -- they all plan on running in '08, and they don't need to be saddled with shameful memories of this administration. No Senate Republican with presidential aspirations would take on the white elephant of the VP position. John McCain? Bill Frist? Forget about it. Rice may be the only option -- at least, the only politically viable one. No doubt they could stick Rumsfeld or one of the other war loonies in there, but Lord knows what the blowback would be. We wouldn't see another Republican president for 50 years.

So, Rice may be the next VP out of simple process of elimination -- The Taint is too big for anyone else. But a Rice vice presidency would serve another function -- it would kill the Cheney resignation story overnight. While every major media outlet in the country all screamed "BREAKING: AMERICA HAS A BLACK FEMALE VICE PRESIDENT!!!!!!!" Cheney would slink off into the sunset, scowling to himself and muttering vague threats about the NSA.

Condoleezza Rice, alleged future vice pres ... whoops. My bad. That's The Condoleezza Rice, the largest oil tanker in Chevron's fleet. The name was changed in 2001 to "avoid confusion."

There we go. That's better.

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"Most smart people tend to feel queasy when the conversation turns to things like 'certain death' and 'total failure' and the idea of a 'doomed generation.' But not me. I am comfortable with these themes."
-- Hunter S. Thompson

It was pointed out to me earlier today that my blog name is taken directly from a Hunter S. Thompson quote. While I'm an admirer of the doctor and his work, I would like to state unequivocally that I did not rip this blog's title from that quote or any other. Instead, I ripped it from the titles of two of Thompson's books, Generation of Swine and Songs of the Doomed. Not surprising, I suppose, that by doing so I managed to arrive at a quote by the very same author -- generation-wide pronouncements of doom were a common theme of the man's work. Maybe that's why I liked his writing so much. Hell, I'm not just "comfortable" with themes like "certain death," "total failure" and "a doomed generation" -- I actually get a kick out of them. If you don't laugh in the face of Doom and Death, then you will surely cry. And you can't let Death see you cry. He will think less of you, and he enjoys culling the weak.

That is all.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 5:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Specifically, a 288 billion mile-long alcohol cloud that British astronomers have discovered floating in a nearby region of our own Milky Way galaxy. This is true. The announcement came down the pipe earlier this morning, causing speculation among astronomers, astrophysicists, biologists and boozehounds.

Astronomers cite the cloud as evidence of star formation in the galaxy. Astrophysicists point to clouds of organic material as proof that complex molecules can form in outer space. Biologists wonder if such clouds of organic molecules might provide the beginning of life. And those of us in the sporting crowd (read: drunks) want to know if we could get plastered by breathing the air in that part of space.

The Associated Press story explained that it was "methanol ... a cousin of ethanol, which is found in alcoholic beverages" and that the cloud is "not suitable for human consumption." But I think they should let the experts be the judge of this. Finally, progress we can all appreciate. Once we perfect long-distance space travel, experts sent to the field will include an astrobiologist named Dr. Plankenheimer, a pilot named Col. Reggie "Buzz" Strongman and a local drunk named Norm. They'll film the whole thing for reality TV, pay per view only, and the episode in which Norm spacewalks into the alcohol cloud will be among the highest rated shows in television history. The future is now.

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So Katie Couric, she of the huge paychecks and smile as bright as the cores of a thousand suns, will be replacing temporary anchor Bob Schieffer after leaving the Today show in late May. Now, I realize that nobody watches network evening news anymore, but the hiring of Couric is just one symptom of a larger disease that is sapping the life from the profession that, for good or ill, I call my own. Sure, there's a world of difference between Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News and Dan Sweeney at City Link Magazine, but we are nevertheless members of the same tribe, and this move has made me wince in shame.

Will Couric increase ratings at CBS? You bet she will. But this ignores the fact that Schieffer was already doing some pretty good work in that regard. CBS had long been the ratings runt among the three network newscasts, but that gap had started to close under Scheiffer's watch -- I think because of the gravitas factor. People want their news delivered to them by a guy who knows what he's talking about. Schieffer comes from a different era, and he's head and shoulders above the empty heads that fill the anchor chairs these days on both the networks and the 24-hour stations. Hell, especially on the 24-hour stations. There's hardly a decent anchor among them, from the propagandists at Fox News to the utterly credulous incompetents at CNN. Olbermann over at MSNBC is pretty good, but what does it say about the state of broadcast news that a former ESPN SportsCenter jockey is the best it has to offer?

In any case, I understand the need to increase ratings, just as I understand a paper's need to increase circulation -- more of either of these things means a justification for higher ad prices, which in turn means more money for the same service. And I have no problem with that. Nor do I take issue with Couric's oft-maligned perkiness. It's OK to be happy -- even if it's just faux-happiness put on for the TV. Hell, I don't even have a problem with Couric putting her colon exam on air for all of America to see.

What I deride about Couric is the same thing I just bashed those CNN anchors for -- utter, rampant credulousness. The determination to take everybody at their word, no matter how obvious the lie that spouts forth. If I may continue to stomp on Tom DeLay, I call your attention to Couric's interview with Hardball's Chris Matthews (don't even get me started on how annoying it is to see journalists interviewing journalists) during yesterday's Today show. As reported by Media Matters, a liberal press watchdog group, Matthews said to Couric that DeLay's congressional redistricting plan in Texas "quite sacrifically" lowered the Republican population of DeLay's own district to 55 percent.

Of course, that was crap. In fact, DeLay's district after the plan comprised 66 percent Republicans, down from 67 percent before the plan. Where Matthews screwed up (and I'll try to be optimistic and assume it was a screw up, not a deliberate distortion) is that despite the makeup of his district, DeLay only got 55 percent of the vote in his last election -- yeah, even Republicans in his own district hate Tom DeLay. So, Matthews doesn't get his facts straight. It happens. But if you're going to be the anchor of a network newscast, god damn it, you have got to have one of the greatest bullshit detectors in all of mankind. And you have got to be willing to call people on it. So when Chris Matthew says something utterly asinine, like refering to anything DeLay does as "self-sacrificing," you've got to say, "Hold on there, Chris. Are you sure those numbers are right? Because we all know Tom DeLay, and self-sacrificing just isn't the first word that comes to mind when trying to describe him."

And then, after checking and realizing that Chris got it wrong, you report the truth the next night. That's journalism -- telling the truth and calling people on it when they fail to do the same. Instead, what did Couric say after Matthews spouted that crap? "Whoa, that's a lot of information early in the morning. OK, Chris."

Hopefully, it won't be too much information for her to handle in the evening.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Amid all the tornados, wild fires and the Florida Gators winning the national championship in a non-game against the UCLA Teddy Bears, the big news from last night was the first reports that Tom Delay, The Man From Sugarland, The Hammer, the Now-Disgraced One-Time House Majority Leader, would not seek re-election and would leave the House of Representatives as soon as May.

Let's get down to brass tacks -- Tom DeLay was a ruthless bastard with a heart so full of hate that he was occasionally known, in the middle of House debates, to vomit forth a black, tarry substance that was later identified by scientists as "pure evil." The hubris of the man was so complete that, upon once being told to extinguish his smelly cigar at a steak house due to the regulations of the federal government, he replied, "I am the federal government." And he wasn't being ironic. It was a statement unknown to politics since the pre-Revolutionary days of France, when King Louis XIV, the Sun King, was known to utter, "L'etat c'est moi" -- I am the state. In any case, Louis XIV was at least a king, so the claim of being one and the same with the state he represented was at least debatable. But Tom DeLay is a weasel with the morals of Judas and the wisdom of Caligula. And though the man is now down, I intend to keep on kicking.

The Houston Press reported that, while campaigning for Dan Quayle in 1988, DeLay was asked why he hadn't fought in Vietnam. He responded that "So many minority youths had volunteered for the well-paying military positions to escape poverty and the ghetto that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like himself."

DeLay's arrogance and conceit dribbled all over domestic and foreign policy. After he visited Israel in 2003 and stridently spoke against any and all land concessions, National Union Party deputy Aryeh Eldad remarked, "until I heard him speak, I thought I was farthest to the right in the Knesset [Israel's parliamentary body]."

Domestically, DeLay famously misused federal resources to track down Texan democrats who had fled the state to avoid quorum over a possibly unconstitutional congressional redistricting. DeLay was among the most disgusting of demagogues in the Terri Schiavo mess, making vague threats against the judge (a conservative, it should be noted) who allowed Terri to die with what little dignity she had left.

But history won't remember DeLay for his unbridled hubris. It will remember him for his rampant corruption. Aside from the money laundering charges he faces in Texas, DeLay is neck-deep in the Abramoff scandal. The Associated Press report says it all: "DeLay’s political action committee did not reimburse lobbyist Jack Abramoff for the May 2000 use of the skybox, instead treating it as a type of donation that didn’t have to be disclosed to election regulators at the time.
The skybox donation, valued at thousands of dollars, came three weeks before DeLay also accepted a trip to Europe — including golf with Abramoff at the world-famous St. Andrews course — for himself, his wife and aides that was underwritten by some of the lobbyist’s clients.
Two months after the concert and trip, DeLay voted against gambling legislation opposed by some of Abramoff’s Indian tribe clients.
House ethics rules require lawmakers to avoid the appearance of any conflict of interest."

At best, DeLay is an ignorant rube with an equally moronic staff who remained unaware of House ethics rules even after being in Congress for more than a decade. At worst, he is the lowest sort of corrupt sleaze, a man who bleeds the government for all it's worth and -- by doing so -- bleeds us all in the process. I'm inclined to believe the latter -- no one is so stupid as to be the former. And what makes it worse, even while he was piling up the cash and the trips and the other fabulous prizes to be won on Rape My Country, he was instrumental in passing some of the most heartless legislation in America's history. Despite starting out as a simple exterminator, DeLay never passed up a chance to stick it to the working man.

Then again, maybe those extermination roots explain it all. Tom DeLay had grown used to destroying things smaller than he was. When he came to Congress, he carried on in the same vein -- and to him, we were all just so many cockroaches.

Harris County Sheriff's mugshot of Tom DeLay, alleged money launderer

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I never liked "Generation X" and "Generation Y." They say nothing about our people. Not like "The Lost Generation" of the 1920s, or "The Greatest Generation" that weathered the Depression before making the world safe for democracy. X and Y mean nothing. And the attempts thus far to give us a better name have all been phenomenally awful. "Echo Boomers" is probably my least favorite attempt at generation rape. It's bad enough my dad tried to live vicariously through me by making me play high school football; I sure as shit don't need the entire Baby Boomer generation trying to reclaim their youth by casting their shadows over us.

Besides, the "Echo Boomers" tag still misses the mark -- it fails to define anything about us. To do so, we should look at our world now, and as it will be when we lay claim to leadership. America's debt ceiling was just raised to $9 trillion (with a fucking "T," for God's sake), and it's only going higher. Global warming, despite the protestations of the idiots who claim to represent us in Washington, is alarmingly real, and will cause massive climate change over the coming century. And don't forget the fact that many experts -- even those inside the oil industry -- have said that global oil production has peaked, and will slowly run out over this century as well, even while all previous generations did nothing to ween us off fossil fuels.

By the time our generation comes to power, we will inherit a dying world with little fuel, swelling oceans, extinct species and a national debt that makes Mount Everest look like an anthill. We are accused of being apathetic, but the talking heads who make these claims fail to see that sheer apathy doesn't motivate our pull toward immediacy -- toward the NOW of loud music, cheap sex and hazy memories. Instead, it is a malaise that comes with the understanding that, by the time our generation inhabits the halls of power in business and in politics, the world will be a stinking hellhole growing worse by the minute. We are the Doomed Generation. We will reap the whirlwind sown by our forefathers, and so we have resigned ourselves to getting our kicks while we can.

This blog will sometimes be about that Doom -- about the latest political stupidity that will cause a short-term celebration while giving us another headache to deal with in 20 years.

But most of the time, this blog will be about those kicks.

Posted by Dan Sweeney at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)